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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Kitty Psycho-Drama

It's a gray, gloomy day in Happy Valley and I'm behind on the new catalog, so let's have a pick-me-up. A few years ago, a while after we got our two cats, they began to start trying to get us up earlier and earlier each morning for breakfast. First we closed the bedroom door. That didn't work. They'd gather outside the door at about 4 a.m. and begin leaping at the knob, bumping the door, rattling the knob, then thudding to the floor.

bump, rattle, thump...
(silence)
bump, rattle, thump...
(silence)
bump, - you get the idea. We gave that up pretty fast.

Then we bought one of those timed feeders. It's a simple idea. You load the food the night before, set the timer, and it clicks around until it hits "open" and a little flange flips and the lids pop up. What could possibly go wrong with that?

What indeed. The folks who designed that contraption had never met our cats.

To begin with, one of the cats (ok, it was Pywackett) started sitting -on top- of the lids, trying to pry the lid off with her paw. It was hard plastic, and she was sitting on it, weighing it down, so all she could do was lift a corner and then let go, and it would snap back into place with a whack.

So we started hearing this at about 2 a.m.-

whack!
(silence)
whack!
(silence)
whack! whack!

We didn't actually have to decide what to do about the timed feeder, because the second night Pie got down to business and this is what I walked in to the next morning-



I'm not sure how the paper towels got involved...

Oh, the problem with them getting us up earlier and earlier to be fed? It went away immediately when we discovered an interesting psychological fact about cats- if you don't feed them the minute you get up, they won't get you up when they want to be fed.

Who knew?

7 comments:

Phoebe Fay said...

Face it, pal. That there is a pid with a problem, and fixing it is going to take more than a few weeks of hanging out with Garfield at the Kitty Ford Clinic!

Colonel Colonel said...

Our pid does NOT have a problem! She just tears up paper because her friends do. She can stop anytime she wants.

Those are MY shredded paper towels behind the couch. And under the chair. And on the stairs...

Mike said...

I have two psycho cats and they are the leftovers from a long line of previous psycho cats. They are tricky and evil and can convince you that their psychoness is normal and you are all fucked up. Beware of cats. I'm just sayin...

jgodsey said...

I would classify paper towels as a step up...i have a cat who does the same thing to loaves of bread.

CKW said...

All I can say is You got off easy! I think I've posted enough pics of Oscar so everyone knows or can find him. He's a good, not so psycho cat. However when I first got him, for the first month or so he'd try the same stunts to be fed. I have a 6' tall headboard he'd leap up to and he'd just perch and watch me sleep. Some mornings I could even hear him getting up there. After a few days and me not waking up to feed the cat like a good owner, he decided to JUMP on me. Well a 10lb cat falling from 6' headboard to a bed less than 4' off the ground travels at roughly 9.8 meters per second squared. Which is roughly VERY fast and VERY heavy. When said cat landed on my pillow only a whisker away from my head, well you can be sure that I woke up in a hurry. The stupid cat just sat there smiling like "feed me?" He had his first flying lesson that morning. Mornings are fine if they'd come a bit later than 5, say like around 11 or 12. Well this behavior went on for another 2-3 weeks and I never once got up to feed the weasel-cat. Not once.

He no longer tries the HALO approach to getting fed (High altitude, low opening parachute jump) basically 'cause I learned to ignore him. However now almost every morning he cuddles up with me and purr's his freakin head off. It's harder to wake up with a cat on your chest/head purring than it is any other way. Its like a warm, furry vibrator. (see mike - cats aren't so bad!!! It's dogs that are trouble (hee hee)) Yup, nothing like a bit o'warm pussy in the morning.

(If I don't drag the moral level down I feel like I've not done my part ya know?.)

Mike said...

Okay CKW--I have to admit, a cold nosed dog in the morning is nothing like a warm pussy in the morning. And God knows, a warm,furry and vibrating pussy just can't be beat.

Colonel Colonel said...

gods- bread is a different one. Pi once did it to a head of lettuce.

ckw & mike- I should have seen that coming. I admire your attempts to reduce the moral level of discourse here but I have to warn you- the bar is set pretty low already. However, keep up the good work!