lifted from BB on Beekslayers [with appropriate editing]
At a world brewing convention in the States, Marcia Cross was at the bar, serving the CEOs of various brewing organizations when they retired to the bar at the end of the first day's conference for a bit of refreshment...
Brucie, CEO of Fosters, shouts to Marcia: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, - so pour me a bladdy Fosters, Miss Cross."
Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, - so gimme a Bud."
Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented der beer. Giff me ein Becks, - ya ist der real King of beers, danke."
Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Marcia, would ya be pleased to give me a diet coke, wit' ice and lemon. Tanks."
The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Brucie asks: "Are ye not goin' to 'ave a Guinness, Paddy?"
Paddy replies "Well now, if you fookin' pansies ahren't a-drinkin', - t'en neither am I!"