Monday, March 20, 2006
My friend Zann's 20-year old son died very unexpectedly Saturday night. It's a tragedy for her and her family, all the more so, if such a thing can be, because she is such a good person and works so hard to make her life and the lives of those around her work. We all have some issues in our lives, things we'd change, and some of us have much more serious issues than others. Zann's had some pretty serious issues the last few years, and I have watched in admiration as she has dealt with them constructively and methodically.
I've learned a lot from her, about how to be realistic and allow oneself to feel anger and frustration while not allowing those emotions to become overwhelming, but instead to stay positive at your core and always move ahead in the end. She's not one of those maddening, always-cheerful people who deny that anything is wrong, and she's never one to tell others that she's found a great way to deal with life and they should try it too, really right now... but she has been willing to share to a remarkable extent, what goes on in her life, and the inspiring thing about her is that she is always able to look inside and outside and take stock, prioritize, and find a positive direction to move in.
That's actually a fairly rare thing.
So it seems just completely, utterly, unfucking fair that now her son should be taken away. Of course there is absolutely nothing fair about life- Life happens, and it's simply what you make of it that counts. But still...
So I just wanted to say that, and offer this thought from John Donne for Zann and her family, and her son Patrick, who died far too soon.
"All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all...No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."