NEWS ALERT: Washington. Firefighters searching through the Eisenhower Federal Building in the wake of this morning's fire have found Vice President Dick Cheney's Sense of Decency, bound tightly with duct tape and locked in a trunk in the closet of a remote basement storage room.
At the Vice President's office, spokeswoman Ima Obfuscator immediately denied that the Sense of Deceny belonged to the Vice President, and challenged reporters to offer any evidence that the Vice President had ever had a Sense of Decency.
In related news, earlier reports that fire investigators had found Condaleeza Rice's Sense of Humor, and President George Bush's Sense of Reality, locked in the same basement closet, appear to have been incorrect.
We now return to our regular programming.