Please Don't Confuse Them-

Today I take the liberty of shamelessly stealing a theme from Joey Polanski, because I think the lesson may be valuable to some people in the Media-

FUCKER

FUCKHEAD

FUCKWIT



PLEASE DON'T CONFUSE 'EM!!

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Forecast!

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The forecast says rain-
The sky says sun. It's April,
And I'm so confused.

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I know a number of you out there are interested in the latest news on the Mormon church, so we can file this one under "What a Difference a Consonant Makes" -

Student Newspaper at BYU Pulled Over Caption Error

PROVO, Utah (AP) - About 18,500 issues of the Daily Universe student newspaper at Brigham Young University were pulled from newsstands because a photo caption on the front page misidentified leaders of the Mormon church as apostates instead of apostles.

An apostate is a person who has abandoned religious faith, principles or a cause.

The photo was of members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, a governing body of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-days Saints, at the weekend general conference.

The caption called the group the "Quorum of the Twelve Apostates."

The papers were replaced with corrected copies later Monday.

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Opening Day ! (??)

Well, Boston Red Sox fans are all set for Sox Opening Day, Take 2, after yesterday's washout. Hey, at some point it has to stop raining right? Maybe by May?

Opening Day Haiku-

Its Opening Day-
First pitch- going, going gone!
What's gone- ball or hope?

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Just in, an update on something I was bitching about last week. The Vermont legislature has showed some spine and over-ridden their idiot Governor's veto-

Vermont Legalizes Gay Marriage
ASSOCIATED PRESS : April 7, 2009

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) -- Vermont has become the fourth state to legalize gay marriage -- and the first to do so with a legislature's vote. The Legislature voted Tuesday to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of a bill allowing gays and lesbians to marry. The vote was 23-5 to override in the state Senate and 100-49 to override in the House. Under Vermont law, two-thirds of each chamber had to vote for override.

The vote came nine years after Vermont adopted its first-in-the-nation civil unions law.

It's now the fourth state to permit same-sex marriage. Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa are the others. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.


Wow, now there's a Progressive quartet of states for you- Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and, um, Iowa.

Wednesday News Headlines You May Have Missed-

I suppose that most of you have already heard that Barack Obama was elected to the Presidency last night, but our crack staff at MMB has been hard at work and, having finished off all the beer, have found a few other election-related stories the major media seems to have missed-

George Bush told reporters this morning that he has offered his congratulations to "that other guy, the one who, yuh know, beat John McCain, the same John McCain who was a prisoner of war and has served his country all his life, and uh, well, you know, I guess the country just got all Democratized on us and we gotta roll up our arms and fool me twice, right, you know? Anyone have a pretzel? I wanna give that Obama guy a pretzel."

A spokesman for Governor Sarah Palin announced that as the Governor was packing in her Arizona hotel room this morning she found an entire box full of "g"'s she has been dropping for the last two months. The spokesman said the "g's will be donated to poor, g-deprived Republicans in George Bush's home state of Texas.

Joe The (not really a) Plumber has issued a press release stating that he never liked John McCain that much anyway, and that his new 'Joe the Plumber Action Figures^(tm) are now available on his website, and that his new country single, "I've Got a Plunger for You, Baby", will be available at Wal*Mart next week.

Conservative columnist Michelle Malkin notes in her column this morning that, after a full twelve hours as President-elect, "B. Hussein Obama" has not yet solved the financial crisis, made America energy-independent, or attacked Iran, and termed his Presidency "a miserable failure".

Vice President-for-Life Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment, but trucks of canned food, bottled water, and rolls of barbed wire have reportedly been streaming into the Vice President's compound since midnight last night.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney told reporters last night that he's moving to "either Iowa or New Hampshire, or maybe both" and will begin campaigning for the 2012 election tomorrow, taking a firm stand on "all the issues that are important to everybody, whatever the polls, I mean the people, tell me they want me to be for, which I already am anyway, 100%, and always was, even when I wasn't".

Tina Fey was last seen doing blueberry jello shots in Times Square, table-dancing nude with Susan Sarandon and burning her Sarah Palin wig.

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CONGRATULATIONS, AMERICA! YES WE CAN!

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News Headlines-

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and his staff are spending the weekend busily working on a plan to distribute 700 Billion dollars in bail-out money to avert a financial crisis-



The John McCain campaign, struggling after a two-week surge in the polls by Barack Obama, and handicapped by its' own candidates' hysterical behavior during the Bail-Out crisis, has unveiled a new poster for the last four weeks of the campaign which it says is meant to focus voters' minds on John McCain's qualifications for the Presidency-


They both enjoyed it so much the first time that Joe Biden and Sarah Palin squared off last night for an Encore Debate-




And finally, we're sorry to report that once again the Chicago Cubs will not be playing in the World Series, losing their National League Division Series to the Los Angeles Dodgers last night.

Corrections & Apologies-

I know it seems unbelievable, but every once in a while our crack staff at MMB News Services makes an error. When we do, and when it is brought to our attention by our alert readers we make every attempt to eventually promptly correct the error. So here goes-

In our May 12, 2006 edition a photo of Ella June Parker of Tecumseh, Iowa should have been captioned- "Local Pastor Jokes with Homeland Security Officer at Tecumseh Airport". We sincerely regret any misunderstanding that may have occurred when we supplied an incorrect caption reading "Undercover Al Quaeda Operative Arrested While Trying to Board Aircraft as Suicide Bomber".

Last Thursday we reported that on October 26, 2005, the Chairman of Exxon/Mobil met with Saudi Arabian officials in Room 17 of the Daytona Motor Inn and agreed with them to help inflate American gasoline prices. We would like to explain that this was not meant to suggest that the Chairman of Exxon/Mobil met with Saudi Arabian officials on October 26, 2005, in Room 17 of the Daytona Motor Inn to collude to inflate American gas prices. We apologize, and thank the Chairman of Exxon/Mobil, and his lawyers, for pointing out that this report could have been misconstrued by some readers.

A week ago today we reported that gigantic man-eating grasshoppers had carried off a entire pre-school class in Machias, Maine. Further investigation has indicated that certain details of this story may not be entirely accurate, and we would like to apologize to the residents of Machias for any panic that might have ensued in that community as a result of our initial story.

Yesterday the International wire services widely reported on our exclusive interview with Katie Couric in which she declared "Dan Rather was my mentor and one of the finest men I've ever known". As the result of a cut-and-pasting error in our composition department some versions of the story appear to have changed the quote to "Dan Rather is a grubby, narrow-minded, skirt-chasing, space-cadet jerkwad". Our bad.

One final note: After extensive follow-up research, we stand by our report that Dick Cheney is, literally, the Spawn of Satan.

Report? What Report?

I have nothing whatsoever to add to this-

Pentagon cancels release of controversial Iraq report
By Warren P. Strobel | McClatchy Newspapers

March 12, 2008

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon on Wednesday canceled plans for broad public release of a study that found no pre-Iraq war link between late Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and the al Qaida terrorist network.

Rather than posting the report online and making officials available to discuss it, as had been planned, the U.S. Joint Forces Command said it would mail copies of the document to reporters — if they asked for it. The report won't be posted on the Internet.

The reversal highlighted the politically sensitive nature of its conclusions, which were first reported Monday by McClatchy.

In making their case for invading Iraq in 2002 and 2003, President Bush and his top national security aides claimed that Saddam's regime had ties to Osama bin Laden's al Qaida terrorist network.

But the study, based on more than 600,000 captured documents, including audio and video files, found that while Saddam sponsored terrorism, particularly against opponents of his regime and against Israel, there was no evidence of an al Qaida link.

The study comes at a difficult time for the Bush administration. The fifth anniversary of the Iraq war is approaching on March 19, and Bush is attempting to hold support for a continued large U.S. troop presence there following a report from his on-the-ground commander, Army Gen. David Petraeus, in early April.

Navy Capt. Dennis Moynihan, a spokesman for the Norfolk, Va.-based Joint Forces Command, said, "We're making the report available to anyone who wishes to have it, and we'll send it out via CD in the mail."

Moynihan declined further comment.

It's Just So Confusticating

Back when I was 8 my mom caught me with some cookies just before dinner. After I whined awhile she said "Fine, you can eat those now, but if you do, you can't have desert." Of course I agreed and wolfed down the cookies. Imagine my surprise when, after dinner, I didn't get desert. Of course, being 8, I whined and screamed that even though I had been caught doing something I was not supposed to do and had been informed of the consequences of my actions in advance, and accepted them, it still WASN'T FAIR!!!

I'm not actually sure what made me remember that incident- I was reading about the brouhaha over the Florida and Michigan Democratic delegates who claim they have to be seated at the convention when it came to mind. Weird, huh?

American Idol has its' Final Twelve, and it's a very good field this year. I'm pulling for Irish lass Carly Smithson who can sing the bejeezus out of a song. Ryan Seacrest, who must wake up every morning, sink to his knees and whisper, "God I'm the Luckiest Talentless SOB on Earth", announced that starting next week they will be taking viewer phone calls during the results show. I've been trying to come up with a joke about something I'd find more annoying, but can't do it. I can't wait.

For those who pooh-pooh the idea of sinking into the sofa after work with a brewski or two, well, I guess you'll never build a National Landmark. I'm hoping Ted Velvet builds the East Coast version of this.

What a bizarre travesty it is that the Japanese continue to hunt whales under the guise of "scientific investigation". Well, now the continuing battle between the Japanese whaling fleet and anti-whaling activists seems to be close to turning into a shooting war. OK, fine. If the Japanese want to continue to slaughter 1,000 whales a year as a "science experiment", maybe the anti-whaling activists should start to "experiment" with the "scientific impact" of nuclear weapons on an average whale-fishing vessel... hey, anything in the name of "science", right?

Speaking of science, if you haven't taken a few minutes to see these textbook disclaimers, do so soon. I can't decide if my favorite is- "This textbook contains a chapter about general relativity, a theory that very few scientists actually understand. And because Einstein was an atheist, it must certainly be incorrect" or "This book explains the difference between a fact and a myth. If you feel this insight would in any way undermine your belief in magic, please close it immediately."

Still, science always seems to leave more questions than answers, which makes me very confused, and I don't like being confused. Or "confusticated", as The Decider would say. So whenever I'm confused, I turn to two hot girls in a shower-



Have a great weekend, everyone!

I Know It Must Be True, I Read It On The Internets-

This campaign season has been very confusing for me. So many facts flying around, and debates, and all that crap. But like the song says, I'm just a Simple Man, so I decided to go up on the web and find out the truth about the candidates without being distracted by irrelevant stuff, like the candidates themselves. What I learned was really eye-opening let me tell you, and I am so glad that I decided to become an Informed Voter.

So, for those of you voting today, or who may vote in the future, here is some of what I learned on the interwebs-

-Barack Obama is a secret Muslim who was recruited by Osama Bin Laden to become President, and once he does he is going to burn all our Bibles and make Scarlett Johansen wear a burkah.

-Hillary Clinton wants to take away all our guns and sell America to the United Nations.

-John McCain is actually a secret agent for the Red Chinese.

-Hillary Clinton will only appoint lesbians to the Supreme Court, and she's going to paint the White House pink.

-John McCain is Ted Kennedy's secret gay boy-toy.

-Barack Obama's willingness to talk to foreign leaders we don't like will destroy America, turn our kids into Muslims, and give us all scabbies.

-Barack Obama flew one of the planes into the World Trade Center.

-John McCain is really no different than Dennis Kucinich, even though Kucinich has a hotter wife.

Hillary Clinton cut off Bill's balls and had them surgically implanted in her you-know-what.

Mike Huckabee is a nut job. (well, I actually knew that before I went on the internets).

I hope you found this as educational as I did. I am going to go vote for Chuck Norris now.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Boston: In a series of stunning turns of events in the Presidential Race, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton have announced that they are divorcing their spouses so they can marry each other in a civil ceremony in Boston today. Hillary Clinton, faced with running against her ex-husband's spouse has announced that she will withdraw from the race and devote the rest of her life to becoming a singer on American Idol.

In a noontime press conference Barack Obama introduced former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney as his running mate. Romney, who vehemently denied having run for President as a Republican, said that his heart "has always been with my gay brothers", and insisted that he has always been at the forefront of he gay rights movement.

When asked what she thought of the Democrats running a gay black man who was married to Bill Clinton for President, Ann Coulter's head exploded.

What Goes Up, Must Come Down-

Just as we were finally breathing a sigh of relief about that asteroid not hitting earth this week, this morning we wake up to news that there's something else out there, and this one is not going to miss-

Satellite 'the size of a bus' could crash to Earth

Telegraph.co.uk 27/01/2008

A large spy satellite is out of control and could crash to Earth in the next few weeks, a US government official has warned. The satellite could land anywhere on the planet and may contain hazardous materials, the unnamed source told the AP news wire. While the US government is yet to release any information about the craft, John Pike of the defence research group GlobalSecurity.org said that it is most likely a photo-reconnaissance satellite, weighing as much as 20,000lb (9,000kg) and the size of a bus. It is believed to contain hydrazine, a common rocket fuel, which is hazardous to humans.

So, fellow campers, keep an eye peeled. According to our Fearless Leaders, it might burn up on rentry, but it might not. It might come down in the ocean, or it might come down on land. Nobody knows really, so it might be best to keep one eye on the sky, and don't go outside without an umbrella...

Monday Morning Wake Up-

Here's my contribution to that interesting album-cover meme that's been going around. I first saw it on Prepo's blog. The rules are simple-

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use a graphics program to create your cover.

Baby, it's cold outside! Actually it's not as bad as we thought it would be- it's a balmy 8 degrees above zero as I type. Where's Global Warming when we really need it? Lots of interesting stuff in the news today -

Islamabad: Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf pledged on Monday to hold free elections soon (when asked to define "soon", a Musharraf spokesman indicated it would be "as soon every citizen of Pakistan learns to play a musical instrument").

JENA, La. – A march and speeches by a white supremacist group are planned Monday, in opposition to the annual Martin Luther King Jr. Day celebration. The Nationalist Movement, a self-described "pro-majority" group, plans to stage "Jena Justice Day" on Monday. (When asked whether a decade from now, when the majority of Americans are of Hispanic origin, the "pro-majority" group would begin protesting George Washington's Birthday, the group spokesman's head exploded).

NEW DELHI - Asian and European markets nose-dived on Monday as hope that healthy local economies might escape the force of a United States recession evaporated and fear gripped investors instead. (At the White House, President Bush reminded Wall Street investors that when they sell stocks, terrorists win and posed the question, "I say the Economy is Jim-Dandy Fine! Who you gonna believe? The Decider, or a bunch of fur'ners?")

Sarasota, FL - Rudy Giuliani says he's ready for his rivals to join him campaigning in the Sunshine State. The Republican has been spending all his time in Florida, hoping to win the state's January 29th primary. (In a new AP poll, 29% of Florida Republicans say they'll vote for Guiliani if he'll just go away and promise to never, ever come back.)

NAVASOTA, Texas (AP) - Campaigning for Mike Huckabee, actor Chuck Norris said Sunday that Sen. John McCain is too old to handle the pressures of being president. (McCain countered by challenging Norris to a Steel Cage Death Match, and pointing out that Mike Huckabee is too nuts to be President.)

I've been posting again over on Mulligrubbers, with some political observations of a more serious nature. Come on over and play if you like!

BREAKING NEWS

NEWS ALERT: Washington. Firefighters searching through the Eisenhower Federal Building in the wake of this morning's fire have found Vice President Dick Cheney's Sense of Decency, bound tightly with duct tape and locked in a trunk in the closet of a remote basement storage room.

At the Vice President's office, spokeswoman Ima Obfuscator immediately denied that the Sense of Deceny belonged to the Vice President, and challenged reporters to offer any evidence that the Vice President had ever had a Sense of Decency.

In related news, earlier reports that fire investigators had found Condaleeza Rice's Sense of Humor, and President George Bush's Sense of Reality, locked in the same basement closet, appear to have been incorrect.

We now return to our regular programming.

Not Your Father's Cartoon Network-

A few days ago we reported that Paddington Bear will be questioned by British immigration authorities regarding his legal status. That news has caused so much comment among our readers that we decided to bring you an extended report on other Cartoon Characters in the News.

I'm afraid it's not pretty, people...

Rudolph "The Red" Reindeer is currently wanted by Federal authorities on a wide variety of terrorism-related charges. A Homeland Security spokesman reports that "Red Rudy" Reindeer is known to have violated restricted military airspace on a number of occasions and to have been in contact with "Yukon Cornelius", a/k/a Mohammed Bin-Yaken. He is considered horned and dangerous.

Snoopy was sentenced to 3 years in a Federal Minimum Security Prison yesterday, following his conviction last month on 47 counts of Insider Trading in Dog-Bone Futures. He is expected to be eligible for parole in time for next year's Peanuts' Halloween special.

The Grinch remains at large despite a nation-wide manhunt. He is wanted for questioning in connection with the disappearance of Cindy-Lou Who, who was last seen on the way to the bathroom for a cup water on the night of Christmas Eve. Authorities refuse to say whether the Grinch is a suspect in the disappearance, and refer to him as a "person of interest, with cobwebs in his soul".

Arizona Prosecutors have announced that they have arrested The Roadrunner in a Phoenix motel room with 3 suitcases stuffed full of amphetamines. Well, nobody wanted to say anything at the time, but, well- I guess we always suspected, didn't we?

Superman was named today as the central cartoon character involved in the Cartoon Steroid Abuse Scandal. According to the long-awaited Snitchell Report, the Man of Steel supplied illegal body-building drugs to at least 20 fellow cartoon characters, including Popeye, Spiderman, Batman, and Flash Gordon. Superman tried to avoid reporters on a New York street this afternoon by ducking into a phone booth, but couldn't find one.

Cartoon Officials are still investigating the deaths of J. Peterson "Porky" Pig and his girlfriend Petunia Pig in a tragic accident at the Hormel plant last Tuesday. Services for "Porky" and Petunia will be held at the Warner Brothers Studio on Friday afternoon, to be followed immediately by the studio's Annual Staff Christmas Party, where Porky and Petunia will be featured on the buffet table, in all their honey-baked glory.

T-t-t-t-hat's All, Folks!

Infamous Illegal Alien Caught!

All I can say is it's about time they caught up with that furry little bastard, who's been taking work from good old native bears like Yogi the Bear and Winnie-the-Pooh for decades!

Police Set To Question Paddington Bear
Press Association
Saturday December 8, 2007 11:08 AM

Paddington Bear will be arrested by police and interrogated over his immigration status in a book marking his 50th birthday, it has emerged.

The novel, to be published next June on the anniversary of his debut in A Bear Called Paddington, will see the stowaway from Peru interviewed about his right to remain in England.

The appeal of Michael Bond's Paddington books, which have sold more than 30 million copies and been translated into 30 languages, remains undiminished after half a century. But Mr Bond, 83, was said to be reluctant at the prospect of writing his first novel about him for 29 years - unless he had a strong contemporary storyline.

The new book is again set around their home at 32 Windsor Gardens, Notting Hill, and revisits the stalls in Portobello Road where Paddington shared cocoa and buns with another immigrant, Mr Gruber, the Hungarian antiques dealer.

After being arrested, Paddington has no papers proving his identity because his Aunt Lucy had arranged for him to hide on a ship's lifeboat from Peru after she went to live in the Home for Retired Bears in Lima.

Be Afraid-

FRIDAY UPDATE: Here's an interesting juxtaposition of quotes from Mitt's speech yesterday (emphasis added by me)-

"Each religion has its own unique doctrines and history. These are not bases for criticism but rather a test of our tolerance. Religious tolerance would be a shallow principle indeed if it were reserved only for faiths with which we agree...We cherish these sacred rights, and secure them in our Constitutional order. Foremost do we protect religious liberty, not as a matter of policy but as a matter of right. There will be no established church, and we are guaranteed the free exercise of our religion.

But in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning...Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It's as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America — the religion of secularism. They are wrong."

This is far from the first time a right-winger has defined "secularism" as a "religion" -they do it all the time, but obviously the Irony Fairy was working overtime yesterday.

Earth paging Mitt... Earth paging Mitt... Come in, Mitt... if you really think that "secularism" is indeed a religion, then what are you doing declaring it "wrong"? Didn't you just say we should respect "all" other religions?

Of course they respect your freedom- as long as you agree with them.

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Many bloggers have been writing about religion over the past few weeks. The nuttiness going on in the world, with Muslim fanatics calling for the beheading of teachers because they dislike the name of their teddy bear, has been all over the news. But there is a fanatical threat much closer to us all- a number of our candidates for President are even more threatening to American freedoms.

A lot of attention has been focused on Mike Huckabee, who famously has declared he does not believe in Evolution, but there are other American Taliban out there. Most of the talk about Mitt Romney has been about the Christian Right's struggles to figure out whether Mormons are Christians or not, but those who value the rights of Americans to be free not only to practice religion, but not to practice it as well, should be very worried by The Mittster, because he is one of the more frightening members of the American Taliban, a group who does not really believe you have a right to be agnostic or aethiest.

Here are some advance excerpts from Mitt's speech on religion in America, to be delivered today (emphasis added by me):

"Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom...Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone... Whether it was the cause of abolition, or civil rights, or the right to life itself, no movement of conscience can succeed in America that cannot speak to the convictions of religious people...in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America – the religion of secularism. They are wrong. The founders proscribed the establishment of a state religion, but they did not countenance the elimination of religion from the public square...We should acknowledge the Creator as did the founders – in ceremony and word. He should remain on our currency, in our pledge, in the teaching of our history...Our greatness would not long endure without judges who respect the foundation of faith upon which our constitution rests. "

Want a little more reason to be afraid? On October 5, 2006, Mitt said,

"Today there are some people who are trying to establish one religion: the religion of secularism. They not only reject traditional values, they reject the values of our founders and they cast aside the wisdom of the ages. This spreading secular religion — and its substitute values — cannot be allowed to weaken the foundation of the family, or the faith of our fathers who 'more than life, their country loved."

Got that, everyone? Mitt believes that if you are not religious you cannot have true values, and you are an enemy to real American values. Further, he wants judges who will follow religious dictates (and by "religious" he means Christian).

American Taliban, anyone?

Get a Grip-

Uusally I reserve my political rants for my Mulligrubbers blog, but this story was too bizarre not to share with you all. I thank Malach for bringing it to my attention-

(CNN) -- Sudan has arrested a British teacher for insulting faith and religion, the British Foreign Office said Monday. Gillian Gibbons, 54, is being held by police in Sudan's capital, Khartoum. Numerous media reports say Gibbons was arrested after allowing her class of 7-year-olds to name a teddy bear "Mohammed."

That could be seen as an insult to the Prophet Mohammed, the reports said.

Say again???

Gibbons asked the children to pick a name for the bear as part of a lesson on animal habits at Unity High School, the Press Association said. A British Embassy spokesman in Khartoum was quoted as saying the naming of the bear did not cause immediate trouble. "The children chose the name because it is very common here," the spokesman told PA. This happened in September and the parents did not have a problem with it." Unity director Robert Boulos told Reuters news agency that Gibbons was arrested Sunday at her home on school grounds after a number of parents made a complaint to Sudan's Ministry of Education. Boulos told Reuters he had decided to shut the school until January for fear of reprisals.

Well, you name a teddy bear, you gotta take the consequences.

Blasphemy is punishable with 40 lashes under Islamic Sharia law, Britain's Press Association news agency reported. "This is a very sensitive issue," Boulos was quoted as saying on Reuters.com. "We are very worried about her safety," he added. "This was a completely innocent mistake. Miss Gibbons would have never wanted to insult Islam."

And now one more snippet, from yesterday's New York Times column by Thomas Friedman, abour our "pals" the Saudis-

One of the most talked about stories in the Middle East last week came out of Saudi Arabia, where the government affirmed the sentence of 200 lashes for a 19-year-old Shiite girl who was sitting in a car with a male acquaintance last year when they were attacked by seven men who gang-raped both of them. The Saudi Justice Ministry said the young woman deserved 200 lashes and six months in prison, even though she had been raped, because she was guilty of “illegal mingling” — sitting in a car with a man who was not related to her.

Am I being overly critical, or are these people, um, nuts? I mean, like, nuttier than a Snickers bar. Religion is one thing, and this isn't a knock against the Islamic religion, but against certain people, and entire nations, who have lost all sense of perspective. We certainly have our own Christian nutburgers right here in America, including the Holier-Than-Everyone Fred Phelp'sers, the people who "Thank God for 9-11" because it was His punishment for not stoning all gays to death. The difference is that our nutburgers do not (yet) run the government and write the laws. In Sudan and Saudi Arabia they do.

C'mon folks- either get a grip or go back to your home planet.

Striking a Blow for Historical Accuracy-

I heard this mentioned today on NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! and had to track it down to find out the truth... and here it is-


PLOCNIK, Serbia (Reuters) - If the figurines found in an ancient European settlement are any guide, women have been dressing to impress for at least 7,500 years. Recent excavations at the site -- part of the Vinca culture which was Europe's biggest prehistoric civilization -- point to a metropolis with a great degree of sophistication and a taste for art and fashion, archaeologists say.

In the Neolithic settlement in a valley nestled between rivers, mountains and forests in what is now southern Serbia, men rushed around a smoking furnace melting metal for tools. An ox pulled a load of ore, passing by an art workshop and a group of young women in short skirts. "According to the figurines we found, young women were beautifully dressed, like today's girls in short tops and mini skirts, and wore bracelets around their arms," said archaeologist Julka Kuzmanovic-Cvetkovic.

So it turns out that apparently Raquel Welch was historically accurate, and all the folks who told you that it was just sexist crap were completely anti-historical.

Now all we need to find out is that Betsy Ross did her sewing in a bikini.

I do love the 21st century.

Fridays-

There's a new "State of Denial" post up at Wand of Wonder. This week has been tough for our Hellish Minion...

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Lots of food for thought in the news today. This one is pretty cool-

"Russian President Vladimir Putin could run for re-election in next year's presidential vote if he resigns early to get around a ban on serving three consecutive terms, a lobbyist close to the Kremlin has revealed..."

That clever Putey-Pute. You have to believe George and Dik are green with envy at that one.

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Students here at the University of Massachusetts are holding a two-day "strike", complete with mass-marches to the UMass President's office, blocking roads, and so on. Now, you are all asking, which issue in today's news has the students so outraged that they are getting up off their bums and marching in the streets? Illegal wars? Microwaving the Planet? An out-of-control Executive Branch that threatens the Consitution? Um... no. They're upset that student fees were hiked again.

Have I mentioned lately how lame and self-centered most college students are these days?

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Memo to self: Ask Barry Bonds to take me off his speed dial.

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There's a new mutant variant of the Common Cold going around that kills you. Call me crazy, but sometimes I just get the feeling that the Planet is trying to off us all.

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In the meantime though, Eva Marie Saint hopes that everyone will try to have a great weekend!

Odds & Ends...

There's a new 'State of Denial' post up at the Wand of Wonder. This week's involves a talk I had with a Demonic seller of Political Kool-Aid.

If you want to read a helluva story, go on over to Four Dinner's blog, Dilligaf, start on Tuesday, October 23rd and work your way back up to the top. It's scary (a robber puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger) but Dinners has an eye for the small moments of humor as well, and he's a good writer.

Speaking of writing, Preposterous Ponderings has put together an email list for bloggers- go over and sign up if you like. It's been fun, but lists can always use more members to keep things lively.

And speaking of lively, this Sunday is the big Pats-Colts matchup. I think Malach has probably called the score about right at 38-24 Pats. Apparently the game is now being sold as Good (Colt's coach Tony Dungy) vs. Evil (Our Bill). That's fine with me- EVIL WILL TRIUMPH YET AGAIN!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I'll probably be checking in again before then, but in the meantime, Jean Arthur says, "Have a great weekend everyone!"