It's a jungle out there in the marketplace, and it takes a lot to make
your product stand out and get noticed these days. This is especially true if your product is something that few people spend a lot of time thinking about buying, like, oh... a coffin.
Now you're all pretty smart- if you were a coffin-maker, and let's say you were preparing a promotional 2008 calendar, what angle would
you take to, um, "move the lumber", as it were?
Uh huh, that's what I thought...
C'mon Carmen, let's sell that baby!!
yeah,
that's more like it.
My profuse thanks to
Gods for pointing this site out to me. You can see more
here. And I know what a few of you are saying- is this really real? I swear to God- this Italian firm really makes coffins. Look, here's one of their coffin carvers from their website-
30 comments:
i would love to share a coffin with any of those muffins. but i would want to be alive. well, and have them be alive too. i guess i have too many requirements.
Well, they *are* nice coffins!
So, what, are the models supposed to be the grieving widows? When December gives up the ghost, May can grieve in style?
T-Nird: Those, um, 'coffins' look far too lovely to wait 'till you're dead to take advantage of.
Phoebe: I think they're more like accessories- to entertain the funeral guests, perhaps?
...wow...
...makes me want to take up necrophilia again.
Moooog- I could be mistaken, but those women look pretty 'lively' to me.
Maybe they're trying to give old funeral directors a heart attack?
Some things should never be sexed up. I think coffins are one of those things.
It works for cars, and you're going to spend a lot longer in your coffin than in your car.
There were coffins in those pictures? Be right back, I have to go look again...Damn, you were right. I'll be needing a new calendar in a couple of weeks.
Where were they when I was building coffins in my garage for Halloween?
I just found my calling: Male Coffin Beefcake Model
Makes me want to be laid out.
As you said in you labels, I'll be damned. I've seen just about everything now.
I'm just dying to meet some of those girls.
I wonder if they are expecting people to buy their coffin way before they die. Not sure how having "coffin babes" are going to sell more coffins...especailly if the deceased is a husband.
I was conceived in a coffin. My father was really into that kind of shit. Maybe you've heard of him? ozzy osbourne?
aye aye aye (crazy train)
Holy crap! I grew up around funeral homes and coffins due to my dad's occupation. Never saw anything like this.
Fantastic. Just ... Fan. Tastic.
I'm questioning whether or not Miss May is among the living. It looks as though someone shot her moments before the pic was taken. In any event, I've seen it all now!
Oh oh oh!! September's model has major camel toe! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BB: Oh, I dunno. A nice sporty model with racing stripes?
Reverend: Good point. You'll especially spend a long time in there if one of the babes comes with it.
Bruce: The website has the photos from past years as well...
Malach: Go for it!
HungryMo: heheheheh
Beach Bum: I keep thinking that, and I keep on being wrong.
Catalyst: heheheheh
Sirdar: I think these are meant for the funeral directors more than the public, though they certainly have "mass appeal".
TedV: My favorite Ozzy moment came on his reality show a few years ago. A promoter was walking him through the Xmas show in a concert auditorium, and he tells Ozzy that Ozzy will enter in a black sleigh that will be lowered from the ceiling to the stage. He adds that some cannons will shoot gold glitter. Ozzy looses it and begins screaming "Glitter!?!? GLITTER1?!!?!? I'm the Fucking Prince of Darkness!!! I don't do fucking GLITTER!!!!"
God bless Ozzy and what's left of his brain.
PoP: You mean this is not standard equipment?
Cissy: We only bring you the best here at MMB.
Sara: Sharp eyes!
Well if I was in the market for a coffin, which I'm not, that would certainly get my attention and it might also give a whole new meaning to selective rigor mortis.
well, the coffins are made of "wood"...
These ladies are clearly here to promote "wood".
Consider it promoted.
I want to see some guys modeling those.
It would give a whole new meaning to dead meat!
Maybe it's just me, but those girls aren't doing anything for those coffins. They look like coked up whores...wait, maybe that's the point?
I don't know. This is just too creepy for me. What do you tell your grandchildren?
"That's right Billy. Grammy was the June Coffin Bunny 2007."
Coffin Centerfold slogans:
"Got wood?"
"Stiff it to me."
__________
Colonel - this is highly disturbing :)
ParadOx: Then their job here is done.
PrePo: Sounds like a fun project- you first.
Kerstin: Some secrets just aren't meant for sharing.
Sirdar: If you think these are disturbing, go back to the site, go to "art" - "calendars", and check out the 2007 calendar offerings...
Why does the phrase "Liking your meat cold" spring to mind...
I would buy a coffin from them in a heartbeat.
They got the second best marketing ploy in the world
The first would involve nude girls, probably several of them on each coffin.
TV
i've still got those coffins on my mind.
those images just keep reminding me of the terrific italian horror comedy
Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)[cementary man] the italians just have a healthier view of death than we do.
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