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Monday, December 10, 2007

Infamous Illegal Alien Caught!

All I can say is it's about time they caught up with that furry little bastard, who's been taking work from good old native bears like Yogi the Bear and Winnie-the-Pooh for decades!

Police Set To Question Paddington Bear
Press Association
Saturday December 8, 2007 11:08 AM

Paddington Bear will be arrested by police and interrogated over his immigration status in a book marking his 50th birthday, it has emerged.

The novel, to be published next June on the anniversary of his debut in A Bear Called Paddington, will see the stowaway from Peru interviewed about his right to remain in England.

The appeal of Michael Bond's Paddington books, which have sold more than 30 million copies and been translated into 30 languages, remains undiminished after half a century. But Mr Bond, 83, was said to be reluctant at the prospect of writing his first novel about him for 29 years - unless he had a strong contemporary storyline.

The new book is again set around their home at 32 Windsor Gardens, Notting Hill, and revisits the stalls in Portobello Road where Paddington shared cocoa and buns with another immigrant, Mr Gruber, the Hungarian antiques dealer.

After being arrested, Paddington has no papers proving his identity because his Aunt Lucy had arranged for him to hide on a ship's lifeboat from Peru after she went to live in the Home for Retired Bears in Lima.

24 comments:

Hungry Mother said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but that is one cute bear.

Pablothehat said...

Never trust a bear in a duffle coat, black wellies and a dark hat.

Mike said...

Lock his ass up and throw away the key! Put him in jail with that teacher that had the audacity to let her students name that other bear Mohammad.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Damnit! How am I supposed to follow that comment from mike??

Phoebe Fay said...

Maybe Paddington should just say his name is Mohammed...

Oh wait, that might get him even more trouble.

Malach the Merciless said...

I hope they waterboard that MOFO

Colonel Colonel said...

H-Mo: Yeah, well, he may look cute, but that's just a disguise- he's a mastermind in the ways of espionage...

Pablo: You said it!

Mike: We could have a mass auto-de-fe of stuffed bears and the People Who Name Them.

HTGT: To the fire with them all!

Phoebe: His name is Mohammed? I knew the little bastard was a terrorist!

Malach: Yeah, when we get done burning him we're gonna waterboard his ass. We tried it the other way around on Winnie-the-Pooh and it didn't work out so well.

Kerstin said...

Another idol fallen from grace. What is this world coming to?

Catalyst said...

I don't know what to say. No, I mean it. I don't know what to say! I can't bear it.

Buzzardbilly said...

Who do you think ratted him out: Tinky Winky or one of the bitches from "Blue Peter" (a British children's show that is sublime in it's double entendres)?

Colonel Colonel said...

Kerstin: I know what you mean. Next thing, we'll find out that Roadrunner's really Australian or something.

Catalyst: Bear up!

BB: It might have been Tinky Wink- there have always been stories going around about him and Paddington...

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Oh poor Paddington!

I always thought he was so cute!

Colonel Colonel said...

PrePo: Cute is no excuse- HE'S A LAWBREAKER!!!!

If he bludgeond Woody Woodpecker to death with Elmer Fudd, would "he's cute" be an excuse then?

pissed off patricia said...

Whew, I'll sleep much better tonight knowing we have one less foreign bear in our country.

Yogi will once again have his job back doing whatever he did, I'm fairly sure of that. ;)

TED VELVET said...

fucking wet bears coming over here and taking our jobs!

Beach Bum said...

If Superman hadn't sold out to the Feds he would have been deported long ago.

KellyNerd said...

Paddington!

Ok, I never know if you are pulling our legs or not ... is this real?

Or are you fooling us?? =))))

Sara Sue said...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psst ... his real name is Muhammad!

KellyNerd said...

omg! sara sue... FUUUUUUUUNNNY!

FOUR DINNERS said...

Send him to Sudan!!!

Colonel Colonel said...

PoP: Yes, whatever it is that Yogi does, we don't need any foreign bears doing it. Whatever it is.

TV: It's a disgrace. We need a big, cartoon fence.

Beach Bum: It is a sad time- SooperDooperman outed as a nark, Batman and Robin married and living in a condo in Chelsea... not like the Good Old Days, *sigh*.

Kelly: The story is real- the new book will actually be focused on Paddington being detained by The Man. And shocked, I am *shocked* that you would question something you read here! The Gospel Truth is all you'll ever read here... more or less, give or take, within reason, sort of, sometimes... maybe.

Sara: He was a bad egg from Day 1, I always knew it. I mean, what was up with the hat?

Dinners: That'd teach him! Damn Fundamentalist Bears.

Parad0x said...

Free paddington!!!!

Colonel Colonel said...

ParadOx: BURN THE BEAR!!!!!!

Sirdar said...

Sounds like a slooooow news day :-)