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Saturday, December 15, 2007

Deck the Cats with Tinsel, It's Christmas!

This is Pyewackett, one of our two cats.
She is sitting on top of my computer monitor as I type this...

Phoebe has tagged me for a new Christmas Meme. The rules for the game include:

1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share Christmas facts about yourself.
3) something about tagging other people, which I'm going to ignore. But if you want to play along, feel free.

The Christmas Meme-

1. Wrapping or gift bags? Wrapping. I am not a Tape Nazi like my wife, who comes from the "3 pieces only" school, but I do have a thing about folds and creases. People say I'm obsessive, but I'm not obsessive- I'm just very, very, very precise, dammit!

2. Real or artificial tree? Yes. A real one in the living room, a fake one in the dining room. I always used to get a fake one, reasoning that it was odd to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace and Brotherhood by going out and killing a tree. But Amy has always had real ones, and I've gotten used to the idea now. We even name them. This year we have Nicky. She was a beautifully shaped balsam fir, proud and in the prime of life until we came along and chainsawed her down in cold sap and dragged her dead, cold carcass back to our living room. OK, maybe I'm not quite used to the idea yet.

3. When do you put up the tree? Mid December. As a matter of fact, we just went to the tree farm yesterday. It was 10 degrees, and dusk. There was a foot of fresh snow on the ground and all the damned trees were covered with snow. I think the one we ended up cutting down was actually part of the neighbor's hedge.

4. When do you take the tree down? This varies, but always before we have to mow the lawn in the Spring. No, seriously.

5. Do you like eggnog? I love eggnog, but only my own special recipe- hold the eggs, hold the nog, double up on the rum. Delicious!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? A toy pool table, when I was 6. This was in the days they still sold candy cigarettes, as well. With a root beer, a pack of candy cigs and a pool cue, lemme tell you, I was really something that year.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We used to. GI Joe invaded one day, cut off Joseph's head and did something unfortunate to Mary.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I'm blanking on this one- I must have repressed it.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? People e-mail Christmas cards? Ick. It's far more personal to send real ones, and some year we are actually going to do it again.

10. Favorite Christmas Movie? A tie between the original "Miracle on 34th Street" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". Both Maureen O'Hara and Beverly D'Angelo are yummy like Christmas sugar cookies.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I shop all year round. It's a great system- I see something that I think somebody will like, buy it, put it away somewhere safe, and then find it again three years later, in time for Xmas.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Beverly D'Angelo.

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Large colored lights and small clear ones. One year we did a "Victorian Christmas" with real candles. If you ever think of trying this remember- there's a damn good reason the Victorians are now extinct.

14. Favorite Christmas song? "The Holly and the Ivy", followed closely by "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer".

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Either. I normally like to stay at home, but we've done Christmas in Manhattan with Amy's aunt and uncle which is a lot of fun. Some year I'd like to spend Christmas in Bethlehem, once they don't have, you know, a war going on, and terror bombers and shootings and stuff. And once they get a beach, a good hotel and a jazz bar. I think it would be very spiritual.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Well, there's Dasher and Dancer, and Prancer and Nixon, Ajax and Stupid, and Don Ho and Wolf Blitzer.

17. Angel on the tree top or a star? A bid red peacock. What?? It's fuckin' cute!

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Christmas morning; Christmas Eve we're usually too donged on my special eggnogg recipe to open presents.

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Car ads on tv which show some husband surprising his wife with a new SUV with this big red ribbon around it. I mean wtf?? If you can afford to buy her an SUV for Christmas you should be able to afford to wrap it.

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color? Our tree decorating style is to cram as much on as we can. The one thing I dislike are those cutesy wooden folk-toy type ornaments. Like your average politician or cocker spaniel, I'm attracted to bright shiny objects.

21. What do you leave for Santa? Empty promises.

22. Least favorite holiday song? "The Little Drummer Boy" (except Joan Jett's version, which rocks).

23. Favorite ornament? The red peacock on top of the tree. I still hear you laughing out there- hey, we're gonna start a trend!


15 comments:

Hungry Mother said...

Good stuff. I would have liked to do that meme about 30 years ago. If I did it now, I would really sound like Scrooge.

Colonel Colonel said...

HungryMo: C'mon, now! Put a reindeer leg on the bar-b-q, pour a glass of my special eggnog recipe and join us in a rousing chorus of "Bush's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire"!

Mike said...

Great answers. I'm still working on mine.

TED VELVET said...

last time I went to a tree farm the trees all sucked and the sun was going down and it was freezing so I had to climb a big tree with a nice symetrical full top I and sawed the top off. I looked like a lunatic but it was a nice tree...top

Catalyst said...

That is hysterically funny, Colonel. No way could I top it.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Ha ha ha ha you are a nut!

Phoebe Fay said...

That was great! And I cherish the image of you as a mini punk with your little pool table and candy cigarettes!

sirdar said...

I remember getting one of those little pool tables. Oh man was that something to behold. Of course it was darn hard to actually level the thing with the little feet things...but once you figured out the "english", you didn't need to have the table level.

We don't do a tree but when I was younger and living with my parents it used always be a real tree.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike: Great answers. I'm still working on mine.

I can't wait to see your picture of Carmen in her little red Santa suit!

TV: last time I went to a tree farm the trees all sucked and the sun was going down and it was freezing so I had to climb a big tree with a nice symetrical full top I and sawed the top off.

OK, thank you, so I'm not insane. I was trying to persuade Amy we should do that. Our neighbor has a nice pine out back with the perfect top. It's not like we're cutting the tree down- it'd still be there, only shorter, which would be doing them a favor because at the moment the top blocks their view of the hills.

Catalyst: That is hysterically funny, Colonel. No way could I top it.

Oh, c'mon, take it as a challenge and give it a try!

PrePo: you are a nut!

That was the official clinical diagnosis, yes.

Phoebe Fay: I cherish the image of you as a mini punk with your little pool table and candy cigarettes!

Sirdar: I remember getting one of those little pool tables. Oh man was that something to behold.

The sad thing is, I still have the table and the candy cigs and I still hang out like that on Saturday nights.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Did you check out my favorite Christmas song? Great answers, BTW.

Malach the Merciless said...

Nice, doing mine tonight

Colonel Colonel said...

HTGT: Yes, I saw. It's like a tag game- one of my favorites made Mike's "Worst" list.

Malach: After the Pats game?

Cissy Strutt said...

I do that shopping-through-the-year-when-I-see-things deal. Then I have to try to remember to give the gifts.

Colonel Colonel said...

Cissy: I think part of the fun is trying to remember where you put things...

Sara Sue said...

You name your trees??? I'd like to see the list of names!