Thursday, May 25, 2006


I've figured out how to solve the illegal immigration problem. It's really very simple.

The beauty of my solution is that it would solve a host of other problems at the same time. Some people have suggested, tongue in cheek, that a solution would be to make Mexico the 51st state. That idea does have some appeal, especially since Mexico has lots of oil, and it would save Dick Cheney the trouble of phonying up a WMD-related excuse for invading it in a few years.

But, as neat as that solution is, it has a few problems. For one thing, we do not need another state. We've got more than we can handle already. Speaking of which...

See where this is going? Brilliant idea, right?

You see, after we give Texas back to Mexico, all the illegal immigrants there will instantly be legal citizens again. Neat, eh? And there are other benefits- George Bush would suddenly be Mexico's problem, for instance. I hear Mexico City is lovely this time of year, I'm sure he'd enjoy it.

It's really a win-win situation. Well... not for Mexico, I suppose, but for America. And Mexico wouldn't dare say too much, or we'd give 'em Oklahoma too.

Even Audrey Tautou thinks this is a brilliant idea.


Mike said...

Brilliant as always Colonel. Let's start a petition.

Phoebe Fay said...

If Audrey is for it, count me in!

Colonel Colonel said...

mike- we may not have time for petitions- apparently this is some sort of "crisis".

My thought is that we get a bunch of us together with some signboard and paint and simply repaint to border line along the Oklahoma-Texas border the next really dark night. We could put up some little border-crossing shacks as well. Then we can send out a press release.

phoebe- Audrey is all set for the border-painting expedition. She has a little painter's cap and everything.

She's very jhpyavb about it.