Well, the End of the World is coming. That's what I am led to believe by the full-blown hysteria that surrounds the movie release of Dan Brown's novel "The Da Vinci Code". Vatican lawyers are talking boycotts and lawsuits, and asking Catholics around the world to get laws passed prohibiting showing the movie. Falwell or some other Evangelical nutcake has come out in sympathy with that position.
To all those folks, I have the same message I had for the Islamic Nutfreaks upset about those cartoons last year -go home and get a life. Failing that, please feel free to grind your teeth into powder in self-righteous indignation. But please, please, PLEASE- stop pestering the rest of us.
1. The book is a novel. That spelled N-O-V-E-L. It means "fiction". "Fiction" means "Not True". You might just as well take "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" seriously as an expose of the American candy industry as take Dan Brown's word for anything connected with religion.
2. Incredibly, Dan Brown doesn't want you to take his word for anything. That's why he called it a "N-O-V-E-L" to begin with. Unlike some other folks, Bill O'Reilly, for instance, Brown admits that he traffics in fiction.
3. Here in America the separation of church and state, exemplified by such practices as not taxing church property or making the Vatican pay taxes on its American income, looks less and less like a good idea as the church gets more and more involved in politics. How about a deal? You keep your tax-exempt status, and stop poking your noses into other folks' lives by supporting legislation which codifies your religious beliefs as laws the rest of us have to follow. If you don't want to have an abortion or marry someone of the same sex, fine -don't. But keep your religious beliefs where they belong -in your home and church, and out places they do not belong, like the law books.
4. Getting back to Dan Brown- remember how we all looked on last fall and were amazed at the complete and utter nutiness of all those Islamist fruitcakes who were protesting some stupid cartoons? Well, be careful who you emulate. "Fruitcake" status has a way of rubbing off on you if you stand too close to it.
Audrey Tatou, co-star of 'The Da Vinci Code'. I was going to use a pic of Tom Hanks, but hey, we've all seen plenty of pics of him, right?