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Monday, May 15, 2006

The End of the World

Well, the End of the World is coming. That's what I am led to believe by the full-blown hysteria that surrounds the movie release of Dan Brown's novel "The Da Vinci Code". Vatican lawyers are talking boycotts and lawsuits, and asking Catholics around the world to get laws passed prohibiting showing the movie. Falwell or some other Evangelical nutcake has come out in sympathy with that position.

To all those folks, I have the same message I had for the Islamic Nutfreaks upset about those cartoons last year -go home and get a life. Failing that, please feel free to grind your teeth into powder in self-righteous indignation. But please, please, PLEASE- stop pestering the rest of us.

1. The book is a novel. That spelled N-O-V-E-L. It means "fiction". "Fiction" means "Not True". You might just as well take "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" seriously as an expose of the American candy industry as take Dan Brown's word for anything connected with religion.

2. Incredibly, Dan Brown doesn't want you to take his word for anything. That's why he called it a "N-O-V-E-L" to begin with. Unlike some other folks, Bill O'Reilly, for instance, Brown admits that he traffics in fiction.

3. Here in America the separation of church and state, exemplified by such practices as not taxing church property or making the Vatican pay taxes on its American income, looks less and less like a good idea as the church gets more and more involved in politics. How about a deal? You keep your tax-exempt status, and stop poking your noses into other folks' lives by supporting legislation which codifies your religious beliefs as laws the rest of us have to follow. If you don't want to have an abortion or marry someone of the same sex, fine -don't. But keep your religious beliefs where they belong -in your home and church, and out places they do not belong, like the law books.

4. Getting back to Dan Brown- remember how we all looked on last fall and were amazed at the complete and utter nutiness of all those Islamist fruitcakes who were protesting some stupid cartoons? Well, be careful who you emulate. "Fruitcake" status has a way of rubbing off on you if you stand too close to it.

Audrey Tatou, co-star of 'The Da Vinci Code'. I was going to use a pic of Tom Hanks, but hey, we've all seen plenty of pics of him, right?

7 comments:

Phoebe Fay said...

Good post. And even I would rather look at Audrey Tatou than Tom Hanks. Fine actor and all, but in serious need of a haircut.

Colonel Colonel said...

phoebe- yes, it was the haircut. Audrey has a much better "haircut" than Tom...

much better.

catalyst said...

ccc - (that's "colonel colonel, curmudgeon") Nice to see you back in form.

And here's another vote for Audrey.
She makes me feel all pqxzpsvj.

Colonel Colonel said...

catalyst- yes, Audrey is definitely a gcrcvie actress. I may even go see the movie.

Mike said...

I love it that fictional movie is made from a work of fiction and the whole church going fruitcake world goes insane. Course when you think about it, it could be considered competition since religion is pretty much based on fiction as well.

Colonel Colonel said...

mike- true enough, but what does that have to do with Audrey?

Please -concentrate!

Seven Star Hand said...

Hey Colonel Colonel,

All ancient religious, mystical, and wisdom texts have been shrouded in mystery for millennia for one primary reason: The ability to understand their widely evidenced symbology was lost in antiquity. How do we finally solve these ages-old mysteries? To recast an often-used political adage: It’s [the] symbology, stupid!

It's amazing the Vatican still tries to insist the Gospels are the literal truth. It is beyond obvious they are replete with ancient Hebrew symbology. Every miracle purported for Jesus has multiple direct symbolic parallels in the Old Testament, Apocalypse, and other symbolic narratives and traditions.

Likewise, the following Washington Post article demonstrates how many changes and embellishments were made to these texts over the centuries, unequivocally demonstrating they are neither original, infallible, or truthful. What then is the purpose of "faith" but to keep good people from seeking to understand truth and wisdom?

The Book of Bart

It's no wonder the Vatican fears the truth more than anything else. Now comes justice, hot on its heels... (symbolism...)

Revelations from the Apocalypse - Here is Wisdom!!