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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A Sordid Business...

Somehow or other one of Mike's latest posts got us around to the seamy side of Sesame Street and, by extension, the Muppet Show.

Please, folks, can't we keep any innocent illusions? I know, I know, there was Miss Piggy's scandalous tell-all bestseller followed by her trip to, and subsequent escape from, rehab.

There was Gonzo's conversion to Fundamentalist Christianity and his cable tv show, and then the scandal when it all came crashing down after the 60 Minutes story about the week he spent in that hotel room with 3 Albanian hookers...

Did anything prepare us for the revelation about Kermit and Scooter? Yes, Kermit was Scooter's "uncle", but not the kind we thought...

I will never forget the sadness I felt when I was clicking around cable one Sunday morning and found Cookie Monster selling excercise bikes on one of those low-budget infomercials.

And don't get me started on "Big Bird -the Fragrance" (available at K-Mart).

It's all very sad. Especially Miss Piggy. I mean, what was she thinking when she agreed to go on last year's taping of "Survivor -Stranded on a Desert Island"? Did she stop to think about what might happen if somebody upset a raft and all the food was spoiled?

Did she suspect anything when they started building the barbeque pit?

I suppose her memory lives on in her epitaph. How many of us, when the Final Bell rings and we go to that Big Barbecue Pit in the sky, will have it said of us that we were "crispy and delicious"?

5 comments:

Mike said...

I always thought that Miss Piggy was kind of hot and not in a barbeque spicey kind of way either. I knew Bert and Ernie were gay and I thought Kermit might have been in a sort of green ambiguous way. I mean how else could he have resisted Miss Piggy's advances for all these years?

'Zann said...

This is the 2nd blog entry I've read today that mentioned Sesame Street - the other didn't mention the seamy side at all. It was sweet:

"...When our children were little, we saw an episode of Sesame Street in which a child wondered what would happen if we used chickens instead of hearts to celebrate Valentine's Day. Would we say "I love you with all my chicken"?..."

xo
'Zann

Colonel Colonel said...

'tis true, you have to come here to see news you will not see elsewhere.

Tomorrow's headline deals with sex slaves, meth abuse and the Easter Bunny.

now that fella has some issues...

CKW said...

anyone ever realize there aren't that many girl muppets? There's miss piggy, a few other pigs as dancers, some chickens that gonzo seems to choke or chase depending on his mood. One of the band members is female-ish. Yet Rizzo the rat, Dr, Beeker, Kermit, fozzie, Oscar, Big bird, Suffalufagus, sweedish chef, et-al. They're all male characters. Anyone else find that odd? Anyone else have the sound of miss piggy saying "Oh kermy kermy kermy Oh kermy kermy kermy" in their head or am I just the sickest of the crowd?

Colonel Colonel said...

Big Bird is male???

Really?

Has anyone, uh, you know... checked?