Friday, February 10, 2006

Bullshit Bingo

This appeared over on Biblio this morning and I thought I'd reprint it here for our office-bound compatriots-

How to Stay Awake at Meetings

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size.

Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* expeditious
* to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

TESTIMONIALS from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

-- "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.." -
Adam W., Atlanta

-- "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -
David T., Orlando

-- "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
Dan J., New York City

-- "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
Ben G., Denver

-- "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours. The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting."
Rod H.


RossMac62 said...

you forgot to add going forward

Mike said...

Fucking Brilliant!

catalyst said...

Well, Colonel Colonel, I should be ticked cuz you didn't give me credit but that's o.k. I stole it too.

BTW, did you used to be Major Major?

Colonel Colonel said...

Fair enuff. Never let it be said I don't credit those I steal from. This was, as I said, from a Bibliophile post, and the author was Bookends. Dunno where they stole it from...

Major Major is my cousin, the son of my aunt, Captain Captain, and my somewhat odd uncle, Sargent Major. We don't talk about him much...