Friday, March 07, 2008
It's Just So Confusticating
Back when I was 8 my mom caught me with some cookies just before dinner. After I whined awhile she said "Fine, you can eat those now, but if you do, you can't have desert." Of course I agreed and wolfed down the cookies. Imagine my surprise when, after dinner, I didn't get desert. Of course, being 8, I whined and screamed that even though I had been caught doing something I was not supposed to do and had been informed of the consequences of my actions in advance, and accepted them, it still WASN'T FAIR!!!
I'm not actually sure what made me remember that incident- I was reading about the brouhaha over the Florida and Michigan Democratic delegates who claim they have to be seated at the convention when it came to mind. Weird, huh?
American Idol has its' Final Twelve, and it's a very good field this year. I'm pulling for Irish lass Carly Smithson who can sing the bejeezus out of a song. Ryan Seacrest, who must wake up every morning, sink to his knees and whisper, "God I'm the Luckiest Talentless SOB on Earth", announced that starting next week they will be taking viewer phone calls during the results show. I've been trying to come up with a joke about something I'd find more annoying, but can't do it. I can't wait.
For those who pooh-pooh the idea of sinking into the sofa after work with a brewski or two, well, I guess you'll never build a National Landmark. I'm hoping Ted Velvet builds the East Coast version of this.
What a bizarre travesty it is that the Japanese continue to hunt whales under the guise of "scientific investigation". Well, now the continuing battle between the Japanese whaling fleet and anti-whaling activists seems to be close to turning into a shooting war. OK, fine. If the Japanese want to continue to slaughter 1,000 whales a year as a "science experiment", maybe the anti-whaling activists should start to "experiment" with the "scientific impact" of nuclear weapons on an average whale-fishing vessel... hey, anything in the name of "science", right?
Speaking of science, if you haven't taken a few minutes to see these textbook disclaimers, do so soon. I can't decide if my favorite is- "This textbook contains a chapter about general relativity, a theory that very few scientists actually understand. And because Einstein was an atheist, it must certainly be incorrect" or "This book explains the difference between a fact and a myth. If you feel this insight would in any way undermine your belief in magic, please close it immediately."
Still, science always seems to leave more questions than answers, which makes me very confused, and I don't like being confused. Or "confusticated", as The Decider would say. So whenever I'm confused, I turn to two hot girls in a shower-
Have a great weekend, everyone!