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our Superbowl Party at Foggygates-

There's absolutely no way...

...that this is going to end well.

Oh well...

2010 SCORECARD

SQUIRRELS: 1
FEEDER: 0

So, how do you define "healthy", anyway?

Specifically, I wonder if homemade strawberry shortcake is an acceptable Springtime breakfast. It's fruit and dairy, right?

Springtime-

The azaleas have come into full bloom out back, so we sacrificed a few to mount on my office mantle...

The Bonfire of the Xmas Trees

Yesterday we humanely disposed of several years' worth of dead Xmas trees by having a bonfire in our neighbors' backyard fire pit. First, the pit was readied by burning a few old wooden pallets as the audience warmed up with some champagne-

And in goes the first tree!

That was fast. the second tree approaches...

And there it goes!

Same time, same place, next year?

Opening Day ! (??)

Well, Boston Red Sox fans are all set for Sox Opening Day, Take 2, after yesterday's washout. Hey, at some point it has to stop raining right? Maybe by May?

Opening Day Haiku-

Its Opening Day-
First pitch- going, going gone!
What's gone- ball or hope?

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Just in, an update on something I was bitching about last week. The Vermont legislature has showed some spine and over-ridden their idiot Governor's veto-

Vermont Legalizes Gay Marriage
ASSOCIATED PRESS : April 7, 2009

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) -- Vermont has become the fourth state to legalize gay marriage -- and the first to do so with a legislature's vote. The Legislature voted Tuesday to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of a bill allowing gays and lesbians to marry. The vote was 23-5 to override in the state Senate and 100-49 to override in the House. Under Vermont law, two-thirds of each chamber had to vote for override.

The vote came nine years after Vermont adopted its first-in-the-nation civil unions law.

It's now the fourth state to permit same-sex marriage. Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa are the others. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.


Wow, now there's a Progressive quartet of states for you- Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and, um, Iowa.

10 Things I Learned from My Cats-

A week or so ago one of the national Sunday newspaper magazines had a story titled “ten things You Can Learn from Your Pet. That got me thinking about all the valuable lessons I have learned over the years from our cats-

10. If you have a tummy ache, hacking up disgusting things in someone else’s slippers will make you feel better.

9. You can always get what you want by wailing loudly enough for it.

8. A good goal in life is to sleep all day in the sun.

7. Canned horse meat is tasty.

6. So are mouse heads.

5. It’s never a bad time to lick yourself.

4. There’s nothing quite as amusing as an empty cardboard box.

3. Couches are for shredding.

2. People will forgive anything if you’re cute.

1. As long as you don’t get caught, it’s ok to pee on the carpet.

Based on a True Story...

My Momma has a duck-
she wears it like a hat.
I'd really, really rather
my Momma had a cat.

I wish she had a kitten,
named Rose or Friar Tuck.
A cuddly, bubbly kitten,
but no- she has a duck.

My Momma's duck is big and white,
and Poppa's awful pleased
she doesn't take it to bed at night,
'cause feathers make him sneeze.

My Momma takes her duck for walks,
she talks to it for hours,
she lets it on the couch, and once,
she put it in the shower.

My Momma's duck lives in the house,
it eats with us at meals.
When Aunt Bernice saw that one night,
she made an awful squeal.

My Momma has a lovely duck,
I can't complain 'bout that...
but I'd really, really, rather
my Momma had a cat.

Fantasies-

This is a picture of Amy in the courtyard of the Museo Lapidario Scipione Maffei, just off the Piazza Bra in Verona, during our honeymoon trip to Italy in 2000. That was a great trip to Italy and the French side of Switzerland. It was just a few weeks before Bush won the election and we could still admit to being Americans, and folks liked us.

Verona is a wonderful tourist/working-class town, a lot like our own Boston. If I could live anywhere, after the Happy Valley, and Cambridge, and Manhattan, and Florence, Italy, it would be Verona. When we hit the lottery we will have apartments in all of them.

It's a question I love to ponder in bed at night- if you won the lottery and could have apartments anywhere in the world, where would you have them?

Updates-

This was the scene in our backyard one evening last week.

Today it's covered with slushy ice, and the water that ran off the ice decided to visit the basement.

I've been fiddling in Facebook and skimping on my Blogger responsibilities. I've been a bad blogger.

Tina Fey should spank me.

Meet My Booky-

I am not, not, NOT going to write about politics today! So here's a great Booky Meme I stole from Mrs. Chili-


-Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback?

Hardback! Hardback! Hardback! Of course, that can get expensive, but since I already sell out of print books for a living, I have easy access to used hardcovers, which are usually much less expensive than they would be brand-new. I also have accounts with Daedalus and several other scholarly remainder houses, so when I do buy new hardbacks it's almost always at a deep discount.

-Bookmark or dog-ear?

Never seriously ask a bookseller this question without expecting to get slapped upside your colophon- bookmark it, baby!

-Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random?

Although our stock of for-sale books is organized by category, then alphabetized by author, my own books are shelved by genre, category, sub-category, and within sub-categories (such as mysteries) I put all the titles by one author together, but I don't alphabetize them. That seems too structured... ( <- irony)

-Keep, throw away or sell?

Yes- I keep anything I think I may want or need to read or reference ever, ever again. Books that do not fit that category are either sold or given to the local library sale.

-Keep the dust jacket or toss it?

I have never understood why anyone would toss a dust jacket. On some books it's the best part!

-Last book you bought?

Trick question- I buy books in groups when I go to bookstores or order online. My last stack was new books and consisted of-

The $64 Tomato (a true tale of backyard gardening gone bad)
An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England (literary-mystery)
The Destruction of the Battleship Bismarck (history- latest addition to my fairly complete collection of books about this battleship)
The Jupiter Myth (historical mystery set in ancient Rome)
The Lobster Chronicles (Linda Greenlaw, the captain of the other sword-fishing boat featured in 'The Perfect Storm' recounts her life as a lobster fisherman in Maine)
The Perfectionist: Life and Death in Haute Cuisine (A biography of Bernard Loiseau, one of 25 French chefs to hold three stars in the Michelin Red Guide, who killed himself in 2003)
The Root of Wild Madder (a newspaper correspondent travels the bazaars and workshops of oriental rug weavers in the Middle East)
Steeplechase (mystery)

-Last book someone bought for you?

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes.

-What are some of the books on your to-buy list?

Oddly, I don't have a to-buy list. I buy 'em as I see 'em.

-Harry Potter, Lemony Snicket, or the velvety embrace of Death?

Harry Potter.

-Morning reading, afternoon reading, or nighttime reading?

Yes. morning reading while I exercise, afternoon reading for a break or two, and evening reading in bed.

-Do you read anywhere and anytime you can or do you have a set reading time and/or place?

Well, yes. Set times as above, but I usually carry a book with me...

-Do you have seasonal reading habits?

When we go on vacation to the seaside in June I take mysteries & history. Otherwise, no.

-Do you read one book at a time or do you have two or more books going at once?

heh heh heh... Two? What do you take me for, a piker? I have one book to read while exercising, usually two others for afternoon reading (depending on my mood), one I keep by the television for evenings, and another for bedtime.

-What are your pet peeves about the way people treat books?

All yellow-highlighters go to Hell.

-How often do you read a book and not review it on your blog? What are your reasons for not blogging about a book?

I never liked writing book reports.

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I'll tag anyone who wants to play along!

Up, Up, and Away...

The prevailing wind in the Pioneer Valley is south to north, so every spring, summer and fall the early morning and early evening sky plays host to colorful hot-air balloons which take off down toward Springfield and drift up the valley over the broad fields of corn, potatoes and pumpkins to land here in Hatfield or just to our north in Whately, short of the rocky prominence of Mount Sugarloaf.

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The view from the top of Mount Sugarloaf, looking back down the Valley along the Connecticut River-

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In the spring and summer, when the windows are all open, often the first warning we have of a balloon overhead is the "whooooooosh!" of the gas-powered hot-air blower pumping more hot air into the balloon.

The balloons are all followed by chase crews, who are in radio contact with the balloon pilot and drive pickups or vans pulling the trailer that the balloon will be packed up into at the end of the flight. The balloon crew carries a bottle of champagne which they present to a farmer if they land in his field.

Last summer in the early evening a balloon drifted over the house and began to come down in the soccer field of the high school across the street. As the balloon slowly descended an entire convoy of vehicles came down the street, chase truck and trailer in the lead, followed by at least a dozen cars full of people. The balloon drifted left toward some trees, and the pilot "hit the gas", making the balloon bound upward and start to drift north toward a neighboring potato farm.

The convoy of followers turned into the school's long driveway, raced around the circle in front of the school and came racing back out, tearing off down the street in the direction of the rapidly-disappearing balloon.

A number of neighbors were out on the sidewalk at this point, because you never see a convoy of cars that large chasing a balloon, and we were curious about what was going on. The mystery was cleared up when a young woman in one of the last cars leaned out the window, holding a cell-phone in one hand, and yelled to us-

"She said YES!!"

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Most balloon fly-overs are far less dramatic, except for the random low-flyer who looks as if he may take the top of our chimney off. Balloons are beautiful at any time of year, but they are especially triking against the colorful fall leaves in the crisp, blue autmun sky.

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if You Build It, They Will Come...

That was the headline to an invitation we got a few weeks ago from our next door neighbors, Mark & Elena, an invitation to last night's Grand Opening of a brand new soccer field Mark built in their back field.

I'm really sorry I don't have any photos of what the field looked like before he started, but a few years ago, before they moved in, it looked quite a lot like this photo I stole off the 'net-

Yesterday afternoon it looked like this-

No grand opening is complete without a party and barbecue, and a little after 5:30 people from far and wide began showing up and digging into the beer, soft drinks and munchies-

Our neighbor Father Coonan began things by giving the field an official blessing-

with a little help-

And then it was time for some FOOOOOOTBALLLLLL!

Everyone can play-

And no summer party is really underway before Mark fires up the barbecue pit-

After a half-hour hiatus during which about three inches of rain poured down and the lightning crackled, play and eating continued into the evening. If you listened closely you could almost hear the swoosh-swoosh of the players of yesterday walking through the fields beyond the fence.

Summertime Recipe #1

Ah, Summer is really here- the corn is in!

Please forgive me if I get a bit pedantic for moment, because summer corn is one of my favorite topics. Here are some guidelines to follow for the best summer corn- the kind whose sweetness and freshness just pops like a firecracker in your mouth.

First, a few observations- the main thing you have to be aware of is that the sweetness in corn is the sugar, and that this converts itself to starch after the ear is picked, and that this process goes more quickly dependng on how hot the ear gets and how old it is. Grocery store corn is hopeless, as it was picked a few days ago, and was probably not stored properly. Save your money.

For the best taste, buy your corn in the morning from a farm stand that has just harvested it. The ears need to be cool to the touch, and moist. If the tassels are brown you don't need to peel it down and look inside- just look for bug holes in the ear itself. Take it home and put it in the refrigerator until you are ready to cook it. City people take heart- when we lived in the city, our local farmer's market consistently provided corn that had been picked that morning and was still cool when bought shortly after the market opened.

When cooking corn, get the biggest pot you have and fill it with water, and bring it to a boil. Then throw in the corn and bring it back to a boil as quickly as possible- put a cover on the pot if it has one. The point is to keep the corn in the water for as short a time as possible. Boil it for three minutes, not a second longer, take it out and plate it, with a towel for a cover until you eat it with butter, salt and pepper, hopefully within fifteen minutes.

There is no better summer food than fresh picked corn on the cob, if you store it and cook it correctly. Trust me- I bring a lifetime of experience to this question. Here is your diligent reporter harvesting corn straight from the garden some, um, well... ok, maybe 40 years ago.

Librarians & Book Lovers-

Sara Sue started a meme about town libraries, and I'm happy to join in, although our little town library is not going to be able to compete with some of the really fine buildings we've seen so far.

Here's a picture I took two years ago during the annual Library Sale/Vintage Auto Show/Vintage Tractor Show that's held there each September.

It's a lot of fun, with the Fire Department setting up a burger and hot dog cookout, and more and more vintage cars every year- last year there must have been more than 75 of them, including some real lookers.

And speaking of lookers, here's the image Phoebe Fay remembered my posting once or twice before-

And, since we're on the subject, these aren't exactly librarians, but they are book lovers-

How I Spent My Summer Vacation-

So, the "family house" we vacation in for a week or so in June is a house bought by my wife's grandmother back in 1955. It was built back in 1900, and local legend claims that the builder is buried in the basement. His name was Jack, and there's a plaque in the living room above the point in the basement where we think he was buried, that says "this is the house that Jack built". Since Jack was only in his 30s when he disappeared, everyone assumes his disappearance was not voluntary, and his ghost has been said to live in the house ever since. The contractor who looks after the house and does maintenance work on it every year talks to Jack when he comes in to work, complimenting him on his workmanship.

But that has nothing to do with today's story. In the basement there is a small 8 by 12 foot room, which almost literally has a "river running through it". Not a river actually, but a small spring under the house does come bubbling up through the floor. This is a house that could never be built with today's codes and environmental regulations...

This small room has water coming out of the floor, no lighting, and a small, 10 inch by 2 foot window near the ceiling. So, of course, that is where the firewood is stored. I know, I know, don't even start. The house is owned by my wife's 86 year old aunt and 90 year old uncle, native New Yorkers for their entire lives, and wonderful, wonderful folks. My wife's aunt is a literary agent who still takes the subway to the office 4 days a week. They are great people, and we love visiting in New York with them. They know a great little Irish sports pub around the corner from their condo where we all go when we visit them, and we silently cheer the Red Sox while they loudly cheer the Yankees. But, as native New Yorkers, what they don't know about stacking firewood is a lot. And what I know, as a native New Englander, is also a lot.

So- we went down to help them open the house on Memorial Day, and Fritz asked us if we could stack a half cord of firewood which was going to be delivered when we were there in June. Of course we said yes. But then I began thinking- the firewood room, with water running through it, is a disaster. The wood was all stacked against both side walls, in the water, and it hadn't been cleaned in at least 20 years. To get dry firewood these days you had to carefully step over the rotted stuff coating the floor, and pick and pick and pick through stuff on the sides that was not eaten by beetles, soggy, or rotten.

I just could not, in all good conscience, stack a new half cord of wood in that room. So while we were there last week, I spent a few days with a wood basket, a shovel, and a wheel barrow, cleaning out the wood room. I cleaned the whole room out to the bare floor, and scooped all the crap up and threw it in the woods. Hale Berry, Mama O' God, if you had a light in that room, and some corn seeds, we could have grown a crop, for all the rotten wood dirt that was the floor. And there were some very interesting bugs and mushrooms too. I may have discarded one or two new species...

After cleaning the room out I went to the local home center and bought some bricks and 8-foot 2x4s, and put the bricks down against each side wall, and then put the 2x4s on them, and then when the new wood arrived we set it on that. At least the new wood will not be sitting on the floor. Mission accomplished.

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In case you missed it, the brand-new Royters News Service is far more fair and balanced than Faux News, and Bill O'Reilly called them "the Spawn of Satan", so they must be ok.

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I'm re-reading a book about aerial warfare in the First World War. Here's a video some of you will remember fondly, and some of the rest of you may have never seen-

Catching Up-

Hey everyone, long time, no posts. It's taking a while for me to re-enter after our vacation. A few more of the family had arrived from far parts of the country, so I went back to the vacation house last Friday and we finally came home for good Sunday afternoon. It's about 165 miles each way to get to Falmouth, almost all of it on the Massachusetts Turnpike or interstate 495. So, in my last three trips in the past few weeks, that's about 500 miles of highway driving. I drove right around 65 mph the entire time, and during the entire 500 miles, I passed exactly three vehicles. The rest of the time everyone else was whizzing past me.

Including a 30-foot motorhome, while going uphill near Worcester.

I know that gas is now $4 a gallon, and where we were it's actually $4.86 a gallon, but after that highway experience I don't want to hear a fucking word from any of those people about how much it costs to fill up their tank. Tired of spending that much? Sell your damned SUV and slow the fuck down!

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Wow, I knew that Ralph Nader lost all touch with reality some years ago, but who knew he was a raging crackpot borderline racist? Here's what Raging Ralphie had to say while slagging Obama for not being black enough yesterday-

"I mean, first of all, the number one thing that a black American politician aspiring to the presidency should be [doing] is to candidly describe the plight of the poor, especially in the inner cities and the rural areas"

Well thank you, Ralph, for maintaining that all-important "How to be Black" list, you Homeboy, you. And should Hispanic politicians all be worried about the escalating price of tortillas?

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So, what do you think that lumberjack's first thought was when a bra appeared at the end of his log cable?

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It's been about a week since George Carlin died, and everyone else has put up their own favorite clip, but here's just one more tit bit, one that captures it all for me-

Beaches and Bees and Cats, Oh My!

I just got around to downloading a few photos we snapped on our vacation last week. We go every year to a secluded little house near the beach that Amy's grandmother bought back in 1955, and has stayed in the family ever since. It's a great place to get away, and features fresh wild strawberries-

(rather bitter, and you have to pick for an hour to get a half cup or so)


Bee swarms-

(there's been a hive of bees that's been living in the wall of the second floor bedroom for as long as anyone can remember, and most springs we see them swarm out as a new queen goes to start another colony somewhere else. On really hot days in the summer you can look up and see little streams of honey slowly leaking down from the clapboards onto the porch roof)

A nice view of the beach from the top of the cliff-

(the stairs haven't been built yet this year, so it takes a 30 minute walk to actually get to the beach, unless you want to go straight down)

Amy (right) and our niece Shoshana hanging out at the top of the cliffs in the late afternoon.

But now it's time to get to work. I set up for some book photography this morning. Wait a minute, why is the table shaking?

Oh.

oops.

oh never mind.

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Beach Bum's latest post is a great story about his vacation, including some sights around the pool which reminded me of this song-

Turning Over a New Leaf-

I did a lot of yard and garden work this weekend, and started a new project-

Neocon Gardening.

Now I know what all you pansy-ass, Liberal America-haters are saying- the Neocon Agenda has been thoroughly discredited by the fucking disasters events of the last few years. Well, Nuke Iran! Pshaw! I say to you brie-eating bed-wetters.

The first thing I'm doing is making sure that all the plants are With Us, not against us, and making sure they're all-American. No more French Endive- I now grow Freedom Endive. Tomatoes are Mexican, and I'd rip them all up, but they're used to make an important All-American Vegetable, ketchup, so for the moment they stay, but I'm keeping a close eye on them.

Now on to Anti-Terrorist Anti-Pest activities. As we all know, our Freedoms gardens are at risk from aphids, and aphids are often found on roses, so yesterday I ripped up all the rose bushes and burned them. Now, some of my terrorist-loving pest-loving neighbors objected to this. They pointed out that the rose bushes were in their yard, not my yard, and there were not actually any aphids on them at all. Well, to them I say, you can never be too careful, and anyway, I had been reliably informed that there were aphids on them before I dug them up and burned them.

As for ongoing garden maintenance, I'm going to use the same theory the Neocons are using with our public school system- punish failure. If some slacker of a plant is wilting in the hot sun, I'm sure you do-gooder Liberals would suggest giving it water. Fuck that. Slacker plants don't need water, they need to be encouraged to do better, so from now on there will be no more water for wilty plants! All my water will now go to plants that already have more than enough water. When the wilting plants see that, they'll buck up and pull themselves together and do better, and only then will they get water!

So there you are, my new Neocon Gardening Project. I'll keep you all updated.