Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Random Asparagus Oil-

Color me green and call me an asparagus spear, but we need to raise the gas tax, or our roads and bridges will be falling apart faster than they are already. With gas at $4 a gallon people are driving less, and buying fewer gallons of gas. Since the gas tax, which is the main source of money to maintain our roads and bridges, is charged per gallon, that means gas tax revenue is declining. And God knows, our roads and bridges were in such great shape to start with...

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From today's New York Times:

BEIJING — The Chinese government has confirmed what journalists arriving at the lavishly outfitted media center here have suspected: contrary to previous assurances by Olympic and government officials, the Internet will be censored during the upcoming Games.

gee -color me shocked...
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It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate sex he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' -The breakfast was my idea."

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Audrey Tatou hopes everyone is having a good summer!


Mike said...


Now I know how Hal got to be Jackie's dad.


Beach Bum said...

Spend money on our own bridges and roads with so many imperial wars to fight? What a radical idea.

Catalyst said...

I've been saying this for years: the infrastructure is failing. One of my friends used to laugh at me, now he's echoing me.

I'm not sure about raising the gas tax, though. Wouldn't that reduce further the miles driven?

How about some of those billions being spent on the Iraq war? Bring some of those bucks home to work on our own country.


C.Rag said...

We have decaying roads, bridges, education, health care system, economy...really?

Phoebe Fay said...

But... but... I thought we were supposed to get rid of the gas tax and that would save the American people gobs and gobs of money and this whole gas crisis thingie would be done with, and everything would be right with the world. That's what Hill and McCain said. Are you suggesting their plan wouldn't work?!?!?!?

Color me shocked, you big asparagus spear!

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike: people are always bound to take things literally when they shouldn't.

Beach: I am slapping myself silly right now, getting those radical, dangerous ideas out of my head.

Catalyst: Around here it seems a week doesn't go by without something falling off a bridge somewhere. What was that about Iraq? I-what???

C.Rag: Sorry, yes, I've been told by my good friend Bill O'Reilly that only Defeatocrats say stuff like that.

Phoebe: I'm soooo ashamed. I'm gonna go out ands buy the biggest Hummer I can find right now!

pissed off patricia said...

Good joke!

Seems to me we need to raise taxes on other things too if we are to ever emerge from beneath these fu*king tons of debt that bush and co. are leaving us holding.