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Sunday, July 13, 2008

BREAKING NEWS- Perfect Pick for President!!

The Green Party has picked their sacrificial offering Presidential candidate for the upcoming dog-and-pony show election, and it is none other than former Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney. You may remember her- she is not only on record as musing that George Bush knew about 9-11 beforehand and allowed it happen because the subsequent war would profit Carlyle Group, in which he and his friends have deep financial holdings, and she not only blamed "The Jews" for her defeat in the 2002 Congressional election, she's also the one who slugged a Capitol Hill police officer when he tried to speak to her as she walked into a restricted area of the Capitol building without her Congressional identification badge.

So- she's not only a paranoid whacko, she's a violent paranoid whacko. My first thought about this was that I've had enough of the violent paranoid whacko thing in the White House in the last 8 years, and I was hoping for a change, even if it's as small a change as switching to violent senile whacko John McCain.

But then I thought again (and thinking twice in one day isn't very common for me, so bear with this). My second thought is- she'd make a damn fine President! Just think about it- we always SAY we wish world leaders would get together in a room and slug it out personally instead of sending thousands of young men and women to die as surrogates for their own insecurity and demons- but do we REALLY mean it? Well, here's our chance to find out. Iranian President Achoominidickwad getting rowdy? Cynthy will go over there personally and punch him in the nose. Medvedev causing problems? No problem- Cynthy'll slug him.

No bombs, no missiles, no poison gas- just a good 'ol American President who knows how to use her fists!

I want a button.

11 comments:

Mike said...

I have long believed that if a presidork has an issue with someone, he or she should just go punch that person right in the nose. Whoever wins, wins. No need to send a million people to war let's just settle it in person.

AngryMan said...

I just wish we had a real third-party candidate. Barr and McKinney? Please? At least when Nader ran in 2000 he had a long record of working for progress.
Barr is now running to undo everything he supported in Congress and McKinney is, as you said, a nut.

I hope you're on board w/the Ed O'Reilly campaign!

Malach the Merciless said...

I'm Ross Perot, and I approve this message

C.Rag said...

I'm all about Crazies.
I love her hair & those crazy bedroom eyes.

Malicious Intent said...

Stupid is as Stupid Does Sir!

Phoebe Fay said...

Violence and paranoia! More American than apple pie!

Beach Bum said...

I picked a damn fine time to give up drinking. I'm sure McKinney will be squealing about being included in the presidential debates as well as saying bad stuff about Obama for which the media will spend endless hours debating the significance of its possible affect.

Pope Benedict XVI said...

the Jews will soon learn they were wrong, yes, yes

anaglyph said...

Maybe a bar fight? Yeah, government could meet in a saloon and then one person could call another out and there'd be broken chairs and smashed bottles of whisky. And, and, and... we could televize it! With bleeping of the cuss words! And then we could vote people out of the House. Oh wait.

The Manic Street Preacher said...

a violent paranoid whacko eh? Send her to the UK. We'll vote her in. Make a change and at least we'll have fun ;-)

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike: Maybe if Dck Cheney had shot a few more people himself he wouldn't have felt the need to make other people go shoot them.

AngryMan: This is why Jesse Ventura needs to run for President.

Malach: Yeah, but Ross can't go three rounds in a Cage Match these days.

C.Rag: *gulp*

MI: I think "stupid" is a prerequisite for any of these people.

Phoebe: All we need now is some guns & beer!

Beach: I'm sure you're right- an undeserved sense of self-importance also seems to be necessary to run for President.

Popey: maybe, but when were you right last?

Reverend: I think the scene you describe is called "5 pm in Congress"

Manic: But if we export all our violent paranoid whackos, who's gonna run the place?