Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Questions That Will Keep Me Awake Tonight-
-Nelson Mandela has just been taken off the U.S. Government's 'Terrorist Watch List'. Um, are you guys sure? Do you really think the 90+ year old African Nobel-Prize winner may NOT be about to bomb us all in our beds? Well, ok, I guess Dik knows best.
-Speaking of Dik, he's going to be in Boston for the 4th, to attend a special Re-Enlistment Ceremony being held on the USS Constitution, America's oldest commissioned warship. Now here's what's worrying me- since Dik is on record as having never been enlisted even ONCE, because he had "other priorities" during the Vietnam War, will his attending this "re-enlistment" ceremony cause a tear in the Space-Time Continuum, and lead to the extinction of the Universe?
and if not, why not?
-Now that Wall Street's big investors are about to lose money, does that finally mean the economy stinks?
-If George Bush thinks he can use the Constitution as toilet paper, can I use copies to heat my house this coming winter when heating oil goes above $6 a gallon?
-If all those internet stories are true, and Barack Obama is a Muslim, then why was everyone so upset about his Christian minister last month?
-What IS Angelina Jolie going to name her twins? Are Tweedledum and Mantuefel completely out of the running?
-Where the Hell is my marmalade?
-Has baseball ever had a more entertaining manager than Earl Weaver?
except possibly Butch Hobson?