We Thought It Was a Good Idea at the Time-

Here at MMB Productions, we're not only about napping Blogging. We also develop and sell a wide range of crap consumer products that nobody needs make people's lives easier. Every once in a while though a product doesn't catch on with its intended market. So, in order to comply with the most recent court order in the spirit of candor, I wanted to tell you about a few of our most recent fuck ups near misses-

The Bathtub Toaster - A truly wonderful time-saver for those who have to shower, eat and hit the road fast in the morning. Unfortunately the prototype had some bugs which proved too complicated for its' inventor, the late Seymour McGlubber.

Dehydrated Water - A real boon for the hiker or camper, we thought our plastic bags of dehydrated water ("To re-hydrate, just add water") were clever and handy, but the Massachusetts Attorney General ruled that they were "consumer fraud".

Perpetual Glow-in-the-Dark Depleted Uranium Press-On Nails - As advertised, these novelty fingernails will glow in the dark forever. Unfortunately, after only a week 9 out of 10 users found that all their fingers had fallen off.

and from our Toy Department-

Tiny Tot's First Hand Grenade - Loads of fun and surprises for the whole family, and the pets. I was never quite sure why this didn't sell well.

Lawn Napalm - Again, it seemed like a good idea at the time, as a fun activity to replace those nifty Lawn Darts the government won't let us sell anymore.

The Holy Ghost Backyard Crucifixion Game - A very realistic toy meant for the Fundamentalist Religious market. A spate of rather unfortunate incidents and unfair negative publicity forced us to withdraw this fine product. On the positive side, sales of our Nurse Nancy Bloody Stump Stitch & Bandage Kit soared through the roof during the period the Holy ghost games were available.

Peter's Party Prophylactic Grab Bag - A fun and totally responsible product aimed at the teen market. Unfortunately the legislatures in 49 states (and the Commonwealths of Puerto Rico and Guam) have sticks up their butts the size of telephone poles. That just means more fun for the kids in Mississippi, I guess.

Angry Abdul the Suicide Bomber Halloween Costume - I want to make this perfectly clear- the plastic "explosives" supplied with this costume were supposed to be Play-Doh. We really cannot be blamed when our manufacturer in Mexico screws up. Actually our lawyers would prefer I not discuss this at all while the lawsuits are still pending. I'll just say this though- there are a lot of whiners in the world today, and Halloween was never meant for sissies.