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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Our Latest Catalog-

And now, for those of you who actually come here for book-talk, we take a moment from the usual depravity for the latest installment in the continuing adventures of the Book Elves, and to try to sell some books from our new catalog. Everyone else, please excuse the interruption...


Spring has finally come to Foggygates and the Book Elves are in full fettle, cleaning up winter debris, getting the flower beds in order and expanding the vegetable garden beds on the side lawn. Never ones to take a long route when a shorter, more dramatic one is available, the Book Elves decided to employ what they termed “advanced quarrying techniques” to break up the new beds. . .

What I find most troubling about the ensuing “incident” (as the State Police report terms it) isn’t simply that they attracted the attentions of the fine folks at Homeland Security when they advertised for 2 cases of dynamite on Craigslist, it’s that they were actually able to purchase them, rig them, and send half of our lawn sailing into the Connecticut River before anyone could stop them.

But before they created a really dandy crater in the yard which we can use as a root cellar, and sent a new island floating lazily south on the Connecticut River, in the direction of Hartford, the Book Elves finished our new Spring Catalog, which features almost 300 books and catalogs on furniture, folk art, ceramics, glass, silver, metalwares, fine arts & prints, many from the reference library of a noted Connecticut antiques dealer.

The catalog is posted on our website.

We also have free printed copies.
If you would like a free printed copy,
please send us your mailing address.

13 comments:

Malicious Intent said...

I don't think I am awake yet. What did I just read? Who blew up what? And what's that have to do with a catalog? Where did your yard go?
I so need coffee.

Colonel Colonel said...

MI: Sorry, just the latest installment in the long-running saga of our Book Elves. The problem is you're trying to make sense of it. That's always a mistake...

Mrs. Chili said...

That's the beauty of elves - they march to their own drummer.

Colonel, I'd like a catalog, please. I'm emailing you my super-secret, superhero identity this morning. No stalking, please....

Love!

Chili

pissed off patricia said...

I'm with the first commenter. Did someone blow up your yard? Maybe I have brain rot this morning but I'm lost about the tnt part.

Mike said...

May I borrow your elves? I have a little "landscaping" job I need to do in Washington DC.

Yeah, that's it. Landscaping.

Buzzardbilly said...

I can't remember what I was going to say because I got all excited at the thoughts of landscaping DC. Thanks Mike. Don't dangle a caret unless you're gonna buy a gal a rock.

Beach Bum said...

"Hunting Indians in a Taxi-Cab" read the description on that and thought it would be interesting, just the price is a little to much for my bank account.
Saw an cigar store Indian one time as a kid and simply marveled at how big and real it looked.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mrs. Chili:n The Book Elves bar-b-Q'd their drummer last July 4th. Catalog is on the way.

PoP: Sorry for the confusion- I've put in a new intro that explains all.

Mike: Unfortunately, the FBI has complete fingerprints and photos of all the book Elves, and orders to shoot to kill...

BB: See m comment to Mike.

Beach: Oh c'mon, it's cheap at the price! I paid my restorer $500 for her work on that puppy. And they say selling books is easy...

Malach the Merciless said...

What nothing by the Mad Arab!

C.Rag said...

Do you have any porn?

here today, gone tomorrow said...

I'm just feeling homesick for Connecticut now.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

And holy crap, latest "State of Denial" is frackin' brilliant!

Manic Street Preacher said...

My kind of elves.

Can I borrow 'em to take out the entire British government?

Ask 'em. Reasonable rates....