Sunday, May 18, 2008

A Great New Technology-

Recent advances in web-based optics and simul-server side internet applications have brought about the development of reverse-optic digital cameras that allow us to quite literally turn a portion of somebody's else's computer screen into a camera! This technology was first developed for the CIA1, but now that the per-unit cost has been radically reduced, we are able to make this technology useful for everyday tasks2. Since we here at MMB know squat books, we decided to develop a new book appraisal service. Using the camera portal below, our crack staff at MMB can actually see your book when you hold it up to the screen, and can give you an instant evaluation of its value!

Just hold your book up to the black web-cam portal below for 15 seconds and then press the "Evaluate" button. For best results turn the book slowly to show the entire cover and spine, and then open the book so we can scan the title page. Do as many as you like!

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1 Oh, who are we kidding. We got it from a UFO.

2 We're secretly installing one in Jessica Alba's computer screen as I write this.


AngryMan said...

Did Mike design this? This sort of thing is right up his alley.

Mrs. Chili said...

Heh. Would I get the same result if I flashed the computer screen? Now THAT would be right up Mike's alley!

here today, gone tomorrow said...

You ARE going to share what you harvest from Jessica Alba's computer, right?

Hungry Mother said...

I wish I'd had that to grade student papers when I was teaching. Very slick technology.

The Manic Street Preacher said...

I am -

a) technologically inept

b) pissed

Whatever it is you said I believe you. It's easier that way.... ;-)

Malach the Merciless said...

Who de 'ell is the Duct Tape Fairy?

Mike said...

I am working on something similar. It's a breast evaluator. It's going to be great. I don't have all the bugs worked out just yet though so readers will just have to keep sending me pictures of their breasts for now.

Oh right. Angryman is reading this so I will have to clarify. That's female readers only.

Colonel Colonel said...

AngryMan: Yes, it is his sort of thing. Actually, I did this a few years ago for the beekslayers.org website.

Mrs. Chili: Striprease! Stripease!

HTGT: yes, but on Pay-per-view.

HungryMo: All my teachers just used the Magic 8-Ball.

Manic One: Thank you sir, we try not to mislead. Well, that's not true- we try quite a lot, but we rarely succeed.

Malach: The Duct Tape Fairy is the one who repairs broken book covers with rolls and rolls of bright blue duct tape. She's a bitch.

Mike: Boy, am I glad you clarified that.

Buzzardbilly said...

You are in allegiance with Big Brother on this one aren't you?

I'd bettered go make a new tinfoil hat to keep the gov'mnt from reading my thoughts via your all-seeing wolf eyes of doom there.

Thanks. Really

Beach Bum said...

Even if we did get this technology from aliens I'm still sure we paid too much. Now if they cough up some hot Jessica Alba photos of her naked thats a different story.

Anonymous said...

Long time no see - sorry for the hiatus. I hope all is well. If you hear from SaraSue, give her my regards.


Be well.

C.Rag said...

So I showed my massive jugs & this is the response:
"Your book is worthless and we think we smell something burning in your kitchen. "

I'm assume "book" means my boobs so they are worthless. Damn it. They have gotten so big. That I could at least get a dollar for showing them.

Anonymous said...

You know I almost did this for real.

Shows you I am not in my right mind,but what's new!