Thursday, February 07, 2008
A few days ago Mike posted an excellent list of things that drive him nuts. He pretty much listed all the things I find annoying on a daily basis, but then I thought, what about those odd things that always seem to be popping up that drive me nutty as well?
So, don't you just HATE it when-
- you're in bed, making passionate love with J-Lo, and your cellphone beeps and it's Carmen Electra wanting you to come over right away?
- you get your Ford Exploder up to about 85 mph and broadside the President's limousine, and he gets out, brushes himself off, laughs, and insists on taking you out for a beer?
- you win the Grand prize in the 'Spend a Week Backstage on Tour with Bruce Springsteen' contest, and a day later The Boss embraces Islam, changes his name to Yakami bin Mohammed, and takes up the sitar?
- you find half a finger in a bowl of restaurant chili? I mean a whole finger, ok, that's a nice lawsuit. But only the last half of the finger? That's gross. Not to mention the prelude to a whole bunch of shots.
- you buy a lottery ticket that wins you $250 million, but when you go to pick up your check the lottery guy laughs and says "April Fools!", so you kill him on live tv, and then you get sentenced to life in prison, and when you get there your cellmate is that annoying guy from high school who cracks his knuckles all the time, but now he weighs 250 lbs. and belongs to the prison's gang of Neo-Nazi Skinheads, so there's not a damn thing you can do about it?
- one of those little African countries has a revolution and changes its name, so you have to spend all day with your "Cut 'N Rub" stencil letter set changing the names on every single globe in the house?
- Catherine Zeta Jones moves in next door, but it turns out to be Michal Douglas who likes to sunbathe nude in the backyard?
- you invade a foreign country because all the "Yes-Men" you've surrounded yourself with tell you it's a great idea, but then it doesn't turn out at all the way it was supposed to, and everybody starts blaming you for it?
Yeah. I just HATE it when that happens.