It's a New Year, and time for my New Year's Resolutions! I take my Resolutions very seriously, and really try to follow through on them. So, after much thought, here are
My 2008 New Year Resolutions-
-I will only call George Bush "a moronic idiot" on days ending with a "y".
-I will pay more attention to napping.
-I will be completely obnoxious if the Pats win the Super Bowl.
-I will return those calls from Catherine Zeta Jones.
-I will read fewer books by Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly than I read last year1.
-I will curse more.
-Dick Cheney is no longer invited to our Fourth of July Bar-b-Que; I don’t care if he does offer to bring “truckloads of Coors” and “some really hot babes from the State Department”.
-If Mick Jagger asks me, I will tell him the truth- it’s time.
-Condi Rice is no longer invited to our Fourth of July Bar-b-Que; I don’t care if she does offer to bring “truckloads of Coors” and “some really hot babes from the State Department”.
-No more liver & onion Slushies.
-I will say "yes" if Terry Francona calls and asks me to be the Red Sox bench coach.
-I will not learn Farsi.
-I will eat more bacon.
-I will stop calling Ryan Seacrest a talentless twit2.
-I will stop worrying about what's happening to Star Jones' "career".
-When a bolt of lightning from a clear sky strikes Mike Huckabee, I will not snicker. Much.
-I will make a valiant attempt not to over-do my excercise routine.
-I will not
-No more drunken nude saxaphone playing. At least in public.
Surely some of y'all have a few Resolutions to share!
And Happy New Year!
1 Actually this may be a tough one- is there a number smaller than zero?
2 I always include one Resolution I have no intention of keeping.