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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Random Musings

-I'm so tired of the sad, meaningless travails of Brit'ney, and Lindsay, and Paris. Thank God 'American Idol' starts again tonight and we can get back to my favorite nutter, Paula.

-If you think tawdry celebrity gossip is bad here, look at the headline that just popped up on CNN International- "Princess Diana's former butler is scheduled to testify Tuesday about the last letter the princess gave him -- a letter which refers to a mysterious "secret" that he now says he cannot remember." Geez- that almost makes you long to hear what Britney's doing today, doesn't it?

-Bruce Springsteen and Catherine Zeta Jones are all the proof I need of the existence of a Benevolent God.

-CBS pulled the plug on The West Wing last year because of poor ratings. How come they get to do that with their President, but we can't do it with ours?

-Message to Mitt Romney: it's not that you're a Mormon. It's that you're a jerk.

-All the pundits are saying that today's Michigan Primary is a "must win" for the Mittster. Pundits love to talk about "must win" situations just like weather forecasters like to talk about blizzards- it's dramatic. But c'mon- can anyone really see Mitt pulling out tomorrow if he loses to McCain tonight? The reason candidates drop out is that they run out of money and can't raise more, and Mitt fuels his campaign with his own personal MittFortune. Win or lose tonight, Mitt is as likely to pull out early as your average high school football captain is, no matter what he promised the head cheerleader before he got her panties off.

-Hillary Clinton, the wife of the man sometimes called "the first black President" and Barack Obama, whose mom is white, are arguing about which one of them is blacker. I think my head is going to explode.

-I know how to make the process of picking a new President more dignified -let the Republicans and Democrats each choose ten candidates, strap them all to a Big Wheel and let Vanna White spin them to see who gets the job.

-It's been far too long since we featured Audrey Tautou...

27 comments:

C.Rag said...

Mitt is such a ToolBag!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I don't think Mitt would ever pull out. He's a Mormon. They have multiple wives just so they have more places to put it in.

pissed off patricia said...

Pretty much it has all just become noise in my head. Junk noise for the most part. Just the same damned things repeated over and over day after day.

If something of true interest does happened, it's analyzed to fu*king death by people who don't know a damned bit more about it than we do. Spin from the right. Spin from the left. Facts? We get so dizzy that we lose sight of them.

There is also a dem debate on tonight if you need a little more noise.

Colonel Colonel said...

C,Rag: Oh, c'mon, tell the truth- you arrived here three seconds after this post went up because you saw the words "Audrey Tautou".

Bruce: How do they do that with the special underwear on, though? That's a rhetorical question, everyone- I really, really don't want to know.

PoP: I haven't seen a debate yet, and don't want to spoil my perfect record.

Beach Bum said...

I will not watch American Idol unless Paula does the show naked.

In a perfect world Mitt would be nothing but a used car salesman in Nowhere, Utah.

Colonel Colonel said...

Beach Bum: You may want to tune in- last season there were times it looked like an even money bet she would.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Thank goodness for the Audreys, Viggos, CZJs and Alan Rickmans of the world. Otherwise, I don't know how sane people would get through the day. Oh yeah, I forgot Maria Sharapova (sp?)

C.Rag said...

Here,
Don't forget about Julianne Moore.

COLCOL,
I was googling "dumpster sluts books" & somehow I was directed here & to Mitt's campaign blog. Weird, huh?

Mike said...

Briney's having a foursome with Mitt, CZJ and the ghost of Princess Diana. They're going to delay the election results tonight so they can tell us the outcome.

Colonel Colonel said...

HTGT: Maaaria...

C.Rag: Awesome are the Powers of the Internet.

Mike: Will that be on You-Tube tomorrow? Tell them we can wait.

C.Rag said...

Mike,
If you listened to C.RAM, you'll know that Princess Di is alive.

AngryMan said...

Maybe Mittster should use his MittFortune to start a MittFamilyRestaraunt chain when he does get elected president of the Mittnited States of Mittmerica.

Malach the Merciless said...

Hi Audrey. Tape her face to your TV and evertime Mitt comes on, cover his face

Colonel Colonel said...

C.Rag: Is she living with Brit'ney?

Angryman: He could call it MittSambo's.

Malach: Perfect!!

Malicious Intent said...

I am so f'n pitiful, I am sitting here now watching A.I., not that there are many other viewing choices available on TV these day aside from mind numbing reruns.

I am always filled with mixed emotions while watching this junk. Why do people audition who cannot sing?
1.) 15 seconds of fame
2.) Tone deaf
3.) To many drugs resulting in brain damage
4.) Not enough drugs, delusional

Who knows...shame on A.I. for exploiting the misfits of the world and shame on the misfits for not figuring out what they are in after 7 years of this show on the air!

Oh well, it is better than the news.

Sara Sue said...

I don't think that's such a good idea ... the Audrey on Mitt idea ... Mitt looking that good might sway your vote.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

how could you NOT know what brittany is up to... she's on every fucking channel. i would actually be cool with not knowing what she had for breakfast, what kind (if at all) underpants she's wearing, and what chemical she's fuckered up on. it would be a nice departure

Hungry Mother said...

I'm leaving this comment during the Nevada Democratic debate and my comment is no more bullshit than the debaters words.

Looks like Mitt won Michigan, but I think he almost done.

Phoebe Fay said...

You know, some days I think Audrey Tautou is one of the few things holding my last remaining brain cells together. Without her (and Viggo and CZJ and all the rest, and HTGT so rightfully mentioned), I'm quite certain my head would explode into a billion little pieces.

Thank you, Audrey!

Buzzardbilly said...

I think Mitt's Mormon-dictated full-bodied panties are stuck so far up his crack it's cleaved the sense-making part of his brain (tiny as it must have been) from the language side of his brain. That's the only way I can figure his brain allows his mouth to say half the shit he does (then doesn't) (then, well, maybe he does after all).

Colonel Colonel said...

MI: Tone deaf will getcha every time.

Sara: Much as I hate to say it, not even Audrey could make me vote for Mitt. Although she's certainly welcome to try...

T-Bird: "Fuckered up". I love that. I'm going to use it every day.

HungryMo: Michiganders probably just voted for him so he'd go away.

Phoebe: I know. It had been far too long since we had some AudreyTherapy.

BB: His special underwear is certainly cutting off the circulation to his brain. Has been for years.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I am so addicted to AI.

Simon is so hot!

Simply Curious said...

Audrey is my bitch. Back off.

sirdar said...

Paula is HOT!! So is Catherine...OK..she is more hot than Paula....and a lot nicer too.

I don't get your American politics...until it is too late. I just hope you don't have too many Chads this time....

NerdGirl said...

Well hello Audrey. Suggestion from NerdGirl.

Say hello to a girl named Lena Heady ... go ahead click on google, you wont regret it! =)

NerdGirl said...

Well hello Audrey. Suggestion from NerdGirl.

Say hello to a girl named Lena Heady ... go ahead click on google, you wont regret it! =)

jlb said...

lol...ah, so much truth in them those words... :)
not much of a fan of CZJ, but I'm going to have to google Audrey...and now Lena Heady, thanks to Nerdgirl.