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Saturday, October 13, 2007

Wintertiiime -and the living is sleazy.


It's officially winter. Oh, I know, the leaves are just starting to turn and it's only October, but winter has come, and I'll tell you how I know. As my wife likes to phrase it, I have a Giant Enormous Head (and long, monkey-like arms). It's true, I take an X-Large size hat. For as long as I can remember, I've had a problem waking up with headaches during the winter when my room hasn't been warm enough. Ever since oil surged in the 80s and thermostats have been kept much lower at night, this has been a constant problem. Along about 1985 I realized that I was losing so much heat through my big, enormous head that I was tensing all the muscles in my face as I slept, hence the headaches. I started sleeping with a woolen cap (my "helmet") every night during the winter, and the problem was instantly solved. I know it's winter when I start sleeping with my helmet, and spring when I no longer use it.

Last night I used it for the first time this season. It's winter. I'm going to go dig out the snow shovels.

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Yesterday Preposterous Ponderings was writing about getting older, and that got me musing and the Circle of Life, how everything is cyclical. I think this is best seen in the simple somersault. Think about your friends and family's reaction to seeing you do a somersault-

Age 4: "Be careful, don't hurt yourself!"

Age 14: "That's nothing, watch this!

Age 22: "That's nothing, watch this! Hey, someone hold my beer."

Age 50: "Be careful, don't hurt yourself!"

Age 80: "Well, at least he died doing what he loved."

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Hey, the Sox look strong, the Pats play Dallas tomorrow, and the sun is out (well, actually it's quite river-foggy right now, but they say the sun is coming out soon). Have a great weekend, everyone!

21 comments:

Mike said...

I also have a big head, but have never had headaches from it.I have occasionally worn a hat to bed but it's usually because I forgot to take it off the night before.

As far as I am concerned, there are two seasons at this latitude. Winter, which lasts for about 9 months, and summer, which lasts for about 3 months. When the temperature drops below 70, it's winter.

Malach the Merciless said...

So I assume you to abused stroids in the late '90's

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- I can't wait for Global Warming to really kick in. I've got my beach chairs ready.

Malach- no, not really. TOUWGEHs* can be pretty generall screwed up for no special reason.


*Those Of Us With Giant Enormous Heads

AngryMan said...

Pats should win given the Cowboys played on Monday night. But it should be a game for about 1/2 the game or until the middle of the third quarter.

Colonel Colonel said...

Angryman- true. I think the Pats are also still the better team, whether the Cowboys played Monday or not. On the other hand, this game means a LOT more to the Cowyboys than the Pats. On the other hand, with the Pats you are expected to play as if every game means the most, or Bill feeds your balls to the vegematic.

Pats, 27-13.

Phoebe Fay said...

Winter has kicked in around here, too. Gray and cold and possible first snow showers in the next day or two. But then it'll be sunny and 65 two days later. I love Colorado!

I also love that I have this new visual. FB in her kerchief, and Flames in his cap...

When Santa shows up, try not to overreact. He's only just recovered from the last time.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Now I can start calling you Big Head Fred! he he

Like your somersault theory!

Colonel Colonel said...

Phoebe- Santa's not showing up. He took out a restraining order.

Colonel Colonel said...

PrePondering- oops, missed you! That's better than some things I've been called...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i could be a perv and say that one way to keep your ginormous head warm is to have youre wife sit upon your face, but i wont.

anyway, if you were to die doing what you love, how will you die?

Colonel Colonel said...

T-Bird: We tried that, but after a few months her back started to hurt.

Your question is interesting, and my answer is going to be impossibly geeky. I'd be sitting in my herb garden listening to Smetena's 'Moldau', watching the Sox in the World Series and sipping a nice Laphroaig scotch, when I'd be buried underneath a pile of 17th century illustrated design and pattern books.

Either that or Michael Douglas would discover me in bed with Catherine Zeta Jones and shoot me.

anaglyph said...

Lawks. Have we talked about Laphroaig before? Surely that's the very best thing about entering Winter. I have to get you onto Ardbeg.

Aaaaaah...

Sirdar said...

Sorry to hear that winter is coming. Wearing a toque at night is good for keeping warm on a cool night in the bedroom. Sorry to hear of your fate :-)

We have been waking up to below 0˚C mornings but have been getting to mid teens (˚C) during the day.

Cissy Strutt said...

What colour is your helmet? Is it knitted or crocheted? Or is it felted? Inquiring minds need to know. And enquiring ones, too.

By the way, the Desiccated Coconut has called the election for 24th November. So six weeks to go and then ...

Sara Sue said...

I'd like more details on the cap as well. Perhaps a picture? (It doesn't have piss stains on it like Mike's sweats, does it?)

C.Rag said...

You don't happen to have any Irish in?

At least the Irish on my Daddy's side all have big heads.

Kaytie M. Lee said...

There's a gap in that age list:

35 - Hm. My knees have never done that before.

I have a fairly large head, too. Not "giant enormous" but, you know, not small, either. I have a helmet of hair that helps the heat loss. Doesn't work for everyone, I know.

Colonel Colonel said...

Reverend- I'll have to check that out.

Sirdar- My helmet is off to you- you win any "how cold is it now?" contest hands-down.

Cissy- knit, blue and gold, with the colors intertwined so it looks a little gray with sparkles. It has a big pom-pom on the top. It was an Xmas present a few years ago from a relative who knits. And be careful the Dessicated Coconut doesn't talk to Vlad Putin.

Sara- Since there's so much ninterest I will try and post a picture in a day or so. No pee stains.

C.Rag- alas, no.

Kaytie- I figured 35-year-olds don't somersault. By 50 you want to prove to yourself that you can still do it. I actually have a good crop of hair too, but it doesn't seem to help.

Beach Bum said...

Would I be wrong to guess that the very reason you wear your night helmet was the reason many in the old day wore a stocking cap?

Also, given your #6 entry of your Me Me post from October 4th, you might find my latest post of some interest.

Colonel Colonel said...

Beach Bum- absolutely. "Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap" from Clement Moore's "The Night Before Christmas" is an excellent example. I'm just carrying on tradition...

I'll go over now and take a look at your post.

FOUR DINNERS said...

Mentally I still qualify at 22. This is a worry at 50....