Sunday, March 25, 2007

Religious Tolerance-

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I replied, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"


"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"


"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"


"So am I! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"


"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist
Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"As am I! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I cried, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.


catalyst said...

Ah, religion. The great divider.

Colonel Colonel said...

I tend to think human nature is the Divider- most religions actually preach pretty good values, it's when their adherents start picking and choosing which to practice that the trouble starts. For instance, Christians who preach the God of Love and Forgiveness and practice the God of Wrath and Retribution.

Mike said...

Which reminds me of my favorite joke...

Why don't Baptists have sex while standing up?

Because God might think they're dancing.

catalyst said...

cc - Religion is the opiate of the masses.

mike - So, you've beaten down the Mormons, now you're starting on the Baptists?

Joey Polanski said...

Thou shalt not kill, unless ...

anaglyph said...

Us athiests have a much easier time of it. We're just universally detested.

Nothing like a clear-cut demarcation.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- Footloose was a great movie, wasn't it? I mean, not a great movie, but, I dunno. Just a great movie.

Catalyst- Well, I guess The Supremes are gonna decide if Bong Hits are For Jesus...

Joey- yeah, that about sums it up. It's the asterisk that gets folks in trouble.

Reverend- I've heard some say there are no athiests in public squares with gigantic yellow metal flowers from space.