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Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Last Deathly Grip of Winter-

Somebody stole an hour's worth of sleep from me last night, but that's ok, because I was about done with Winter anyway. I'm not big into wintertime sports, and I very much do not ski. My one experience skiing was about 20 years ago when a "friend" who was also a ski instructor decided that the quickest way to teach me was to strap a pair of skis on my feet, drag me to the top of a local mountain only slightly smaller than the Matterhorn, point me down over the edge of a 80-degree downhill slope and push me off.

Well, perhaps I exaggerate a bit. But I'm no fan of heights, and it looked to me as if we were high enough up to be in danger of getting whacked by a passing Space Shuttle. And then there was my question of "once you get going, how do you stop?" to which my helpful friend replied that usually you hit something.

I have not been near a ski slope since. My wife used to cross-country ski, and if we had had snow for more than a few weeks this year I might have tried it. Maybe next year. But downhill skiing, no way. While I was frantically tobaggoning down that slope on my keister those many years ago, I thought I saw Death ski past me, and I know he's still out there on a slope someplace, lurking...


5 comments:

Mike said...

Colonel--I had a very similar experience while I was in college. My girlfriend was big into skiing and in an attempt to impress her, I agreed to try it. I made one trip downhill, busted my ass about 27 times, froze to death, and questioned the sanity of the whole experience.

I went to the lodge and drank myself into a coma. All in all, it was a good experience.

Joey Polanski said...

See?

Mike knows ...

Skiin is as easy as fallin off a mountain.

Phoebe Fay said...

Aw, skiing is easy.

It's snowboarding that will truly mess you up.

catalyst said...

I'm opposed to skiing, snowboarding and other unnatural acts.

Colonel Colonel said...

mike- great story- you did the right thing.

joey- fallin' off a mountain may be e-z, but it ain't easy...

phoebe- any thoughts I might have entertained about snowboarding were buried after your unfortunate series of events.

catalyst- yeah. There ought to be a law.