Thursday, March 01, 2007

Is That a Rocket in Your Pocket?

Dr. Seuss hailed from our own Springfield, Massachusetts, and it's his birthday, so there have been a number of articles in the papers about his career and his books. Most of his books were quite popular, and those are the ones they talk about because hey, nobody wants to talk about failure, eh? But there were some Dr. Seuss books that didn't sell very well, and so I wanted to take a moment to share a few of those titles from my own collection of-

"Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It"

Horton Hires a Ho.

Who Shat on Pat?

Son of Sam I am.

The Cat in the Blender.

The Fox in Socks and the Garter Belt.

Popping Caps on Mulberry Street.

The Cat in the Hat's Obscene Limerick Book.

Bartholmew Cubbins Gets a Restraining Order.

Green Eggs that Glow.

Oh, the Places You'll Sniff!

One Fish, Two Fish, Red fish, and Mommy's microwave.

Yertle the Turtle and the Tractor Trailer.

Dr. Seuss's Methamphetamine Book.

The Little Snitch Who Squealed.

The Lorax Gets Sent to Gitmo.

Are You My Parole Officer?

How the Grinch and the Secular Humanist Democrat Congress Stole Christmas.

Pop Goes Postal.


Mike said...

I would like to read The Cat In The Blender. Or at least look at the pictures.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- ok, I'll send it over, along with my copy of "Chihuahua's Go Achoo! Do You?"

Cissy Strutt said...

Mitt Romney's favourite Dr Seuss book

Colonel Colonel said...

Cissy- you are a cruel woman.

Keep up the good work!!

Joey Polanski said...

A follow-up to th Methamphetamine Book:

Horton Hides th Who Hash

Colonel Colonel said...

Joey- after last night's Bat episode, of which there were installments 2,3 and 4 today (none of them entertaining or even remotely nice) this is the first belly laugh I've had today.

Many thanks, sir!!

Pass the Who Hash, please.

anaglyph said...

From The Cat's Limerick Book:

The Cat in the Hat, so they say
Was quite fond of a roll in the hay
He was caught in the act
With a whore who was stacked
And the photographs prove he's not gay


Colonel Colonel said...

Reverend- I'd say that about says it all!