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Monday, November 26, 2007

Mondays-

It's a gray, freezing-rain-drizzle Monday, so time for some fun. This was sent to me by a Wisconsin friend-

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do it's own entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin Style"....

The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee. Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads: Brett Favre is Gay. I'm a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears. Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2008. Deer hunting is murder and I'm here to confiscate your guns.

The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive WINS! Good luck to all contestants.

-

And this from a relative in Maine. It's real. The moose bonded to some draft horses as a baby and the farmer eventually broke him to harness. Gotta love my Mainiac forebears-


27 comments:

moooooog35 said...

I believe that picture is actually titled, "S&M practices in the State of Maine."

If you look closely, you can see the ball-gag in the moose's mouth.

Mike said...

I would absolutely love to see that Survivor on TV. My guess is that no one would make it out of northern Wisconsin and the show would have to be canceled.

Don't know if you've ever been there, but that place is scary!

TED VELVET said...

there's a british car show on BBC america that did a survivor thing like that in the deep south. they took their 70's muscle cars and spray painted them pink and wrote NASCAR sucks, gay and proud and stuff like that on them and then filmed what happened. it wasn't pretty. nice country we got ourselves, awesome moose shot.

C.Rag said...

I would 10,000 of Favre's babies.

Phoebe Fay said...

The phrase "Got a shotgun in Sheboygan" will NOT stop running through my head. "A death ray in Green Bay." is only slightly less annoying.

The moose pic is pretty damned cool, though.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Wisconsin has uncountable American Ginseng fields, I'd love to be a Survivor of the Greatest Ginseng Eating Contest!

NerdGirl said...

thank you for the funny monday story ....

are you joshing us about the moose?? I am gullible so I had to ask!!

Colonel Colonel said...

Mooog: Heym what kind of place do you think this is? Oh yeah, you've been here before, you already know...

Mike: Never been there. I never really go anywhere that colder than N.E.

TV: There are indeed folks out there who don't love their fellow man, and I hate people like that. (line stolen from Tom Leher)

C.Rag: You shock me sometimes. This isn't one of them.

Phoebe: I'd never heard either of those phrases before, thanks for putting them into my brain...

MotherHen: Moose pan fried with ginseng! Yummers!

NerdGirl: It's totally true. The man in the picture is Jacques Leroux who lives up near Escourt Station, Maine, and keeps draft horses and, um, a moose.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i'm not a big fan of sterotypes, but the ones about wisconsin are correct. lawyerman's parents are from there, and when we go visit them, it's like landing in a different country.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Well I think I will have seen everything when I see. . . a moose in draft harnesses.

I'd love to see the video.

I used to spend some time in Wiscansin. My ex-wife's people were from there. A dowdy lot they were. Brats taste like bologna sausage. Yuck. Gimme some good Italians any day.

Sideon said...

Uhm. Brett Favre is gay??? I think I might like baseball after all. He's a pitcher, right?

**grin**

Colonel Colonel said...

T-Bird: They have cheese I hear- is it a little like France?

Sagacious: Hot Italian sausage and a little red vino.

Sideon: Now that I hear it's like France I may go to Wisconsin some day, so I guess I'm going to stay completely clear of any discussion about Brett and which way he pitches...

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Now I want to travel to Wisc.

I like freak shows!

Malach the Merciless said...

Malach will win any contest you toss his way

Colonel Colonel said...

PrePo: It's funny, before today I had no desire whatsoever to go there.

Malach: The green volvo is parked at the curb.

Mike said...

Check out that Michael Lesy book, Wisconsin Death Trip.

It's like going to weird Wisconsin without ever having to leave the farm.

Sara Sue said...

Nuh uh!! I just want to jump on that moose, slap my spurs into its flanks and scream, "YEE HAW"!

Kerstin said...

In the immortal words of my grandpa Fred:

Gaaawd Damn. Will you look at that!

Sirdar said...

Funny how the stories change from place to place. I've seen that "contest" for other places including the place I live, Alberta.

The moose picture came to me recently too with the email caption of Only In Canada, Eh?

Oh...and it is -16˚C right now with the windchill at -27˚C. Not sure if it is snowing but it was supposed to tonight. Highs of -16˚ for most of the week. Trade ya :-)

anaglyph said...

I'd actually watch Wisconsin Survivor.

Cissy Strutt said...

Your maniac forebears?

Hungry Mother said...

It's nice to see a good moose story. The last I heard, you had to wear a chastity belt when you got near them, even if you are a guy. If anyone sent in my name for the survivor contest, please remove it; it's a hoax.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike: A book? Isn't there a video or something?

Sara: Speaking of video, I want to see the video of that!

Kerstin: I think we had the same Grandpa.

Sirdar: Sure, go ahead, brag about your bad weather- it's all good fun until you wake up one morning and find snowdrifts up higher than those new eaves of yours!

Reverend: Watch? I want to enter!

Cissy: You bet- Mainiac. You hear folk from Maine referred to as 'Mainers' in the media, but the actual term DownEast is 'Mainiac'.

HungryMo: I don't know about the belt, but apparently you want to walk really softly during rutting season. Even the farmer in the photo commented that he can't harness his moose up then. Of course he could harness him up and let him go out and try his luck- I'll bet all that leather would be a hit with a certain segment of the lady moose population.

Mike said...

Actually, there is a movie called Wisconsin Death Trip. It came out in 2000 and is supposed to be based on the book, although I am not at all sure how they could do that.

Colonel Colonel said...

*whew*. There's always a movie...

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Damn! The moose story isn't true.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/workmoose.asp

Colonel Colonel said...

[Col.Col. sticks fingers in ears] LALALALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!