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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Mainiacs All-

As several folks have now pointed out, the Moose-in-harness pic I posted a few days ago turns out to be a Photoshop fake. Well damn! I really, really wanted to believe that one, if only because it was just such a Maine-like thing to do. My Mom's family all come from Maine for a bunch of generations back. It's a great state, so I'm going to devote today to some fun things about Maine!

George Bush I comes from Maine. Maine apologizes. Liv Tyler was born in Maine. Maine says "You're welcome".

Even though they apparently don't hitch up moose in harness there, Maine has more Moose per mile than any other state. Maine has over 5,000 miles of coastline (more than California). Maine is as big as the other five New England States combined, and one single county (Aroostook) is bigger than the combined size of Connecticut and Rhode Island.

Ever dreamed of traveling to Belfast, Belgrade, Berlin, Calais, China, Corinth, Dallas, Denmark, Detroit, Dresden, Lebanon, Lisbon, Madrid, Mexico, Monticello, Moscow, Mount Vernon, Naples, Norway, Oakland, Paris, Peru, Poland, Rome, Stockholm, Sweden, Verona, and Vienna? You can do that in Maine and never leave the state. For the Biblically-inclined, you can also drive to Canaan, Carthage, Gilead, Jerusalem, and Troy.

Maine has a state summertime drink called the Pine Tree Float. How do you make a Pine Tree Float? Start with an 8-oz glass, fill it with ice-cold water and then stick a (pine) toothpick in it.

ok, maybe you have to come from Maine to find that funny...

The state sayings are "Ayuh" (I can do a mean "Ayuh" -it means "yes") and "You can't get theah from heah".

Natives are called "Maniacs", not "Mainers". Ayuh, that's right.

A man from New York moved to Maine. After he'd been there for three or four years he was talking to the owner of the local general store and he said something about being a native now. "Sorry," the Mainiac replied, "You ain't that, ayuh."

"Well," said the man, "when I've lived here for a decade will I be a native?"

"Nope," replied the Mainiac. "You came heah from the city, you'll nevah be a native".

"All right," the man said. "I see your point. "But my kids were born here, so surely they're considered native Mainiacs!"

"Nope," the Mainiac replied.

"What? Why not?"

"Well," the Mainiac said slowly, "Let me put it like this- if you'ah cat crawled into you'ah oven and had her kittens in theah, would that make them biscuits?"

-

Amy and I took a short vacation to Spencer Pond, Maine a few years ago, and I posted the pics here. We've got to get back there soon.

Ayuh!

30 comments:

TED VELVET said...

troy's in the bible? is that when Achilles kills jesus? just f'n with ya, ayuh.

C.Rag said...

My sister lived in Portland for 3 years. I regret that I didn't take the time or money to go up & visit.

Colonel Colonel said...

The Velvet: I always assumed that was why the Vatican considers Trojans to be evil...

C.Rag: Portland is a happening place these days, a hip waterfront city.

moooooog35 said...

Great.

Now I'm in the mood for kitten biscuits.

moooooog35 said...

Great.

Now I'm in the mood for kitten biscuits.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

lobsta, lobsta, lobsta. . . lots and lots of lobsta in a pot. . . culls @ $1/lb. That's what I remember about Maine.
Oh, and all your facts are cool except that I have a pasture up on the side of the hill that's bigger than the combined states of Conn and RI.

My people always said "yat," pronounced like a "yacht." Drives hillbillywife nuts.

Mike said...

I've never traveled to that part of the country, but always wanted to. Maybe someday....but probably not today.

Phoebe Fay said...

I wanna go to Maine! I've never yet made it to that corner of the country. Maybe next year.

Colonel Colonel said...

Moooog: Kitten Biscuits with chowdah. Yum! Yum!

Sagacious One: Lobstah GOOD! Prices are way up this year, though.

Mike: Good idea. It's snowing up there today. It'll probably stop by next May or so.

Colonel Colonel said...

Phoebe: Well c'mon Down! Let us know early and we'll show you around.

Colonel Colonel said...

Hey, y'all- Spencer Pond has big 10 -12 person cabins. Who wants to vacation next summer?

Beach Bum said...

I'm at least happy a little that we can pass the some of the blame for the existence of the Bush family to a northern state. The south is guilty of enough sins already.

Colonel Colonel said...

Beach Bum: You can blame both of them on New England- George Sr. is from Maine and the Little Shrub is from Connecticut. I'm not sure where Bab's is from, probably a pod that landed in New Mexico, or the Land of Cthulu or something.

C.Rag said...

Barb did go to a boarding school at Ashley Hall in Charleston, SC. I lived a few blocks from that school. I think she's from NY.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

mmm liv tyler does make up for ol george. this has inspired me to hunt for some liv tyler porn. thanks!

Hungry Mother said...

I love Maine and try to get there once a year, if possible. I usually go to the Ogunquit region and then to Bar Harbor/Acadia. The summer before last my brother took me on a 10 day sailing cruise from Bath to Northeast Harbor and some points in between. After a while, I just started to shoot random pictures. Every shot I took would make a postcard. The beauty is endless. I try to stay away from Maine during any aspect of winter, especially after the 10 degrees below 0 Thanksgiving I spent with my brother. I couldn't keep away one winter when my brother married on New Year's Day in Freeport. I decided that I'd celebrate the New Year in L.L. Bean's. I showed up with my wife at around 2 AM and expected a bunch of outdoor geeks would be dancing in the nude, but it was just us and a couple of unhappy clerks. I bought a duck call and went outside and quaaaked in the New Year.

Colonel Colonel said...

HungryMo: Great story! Yes, Maine is best enjoyed from June-September.

Colonel Colonel said...

Oops!

C.Rag: That's it, blame Momma Bush on the Yankees!

T-Bird: From what I saw when I got that shot, there's plenty out there.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Wow! Such a peaceful looking place.

Malach the Merciless said...

Mainiac are a little slow, but I have never been father north than Ogunquit.

Sara Sue said...

I've only been to Maine once and it was just for the day ... but oh what a beautiful place!

I really wanted that moose pic to be real too, Colonel (sniff).

Phoebe Fay said...

I still believe the moose story. If there's anything I've learned from all these years of BushCo., it's never let facts interfere with your beliefs!

NerdGirl said...

You did a beautiful job with those photos...

oh and thanks for the photo of Liv Tyler!

Sirdar said...

Learnt a lot from this post. Who knew all those things about Maine? Oh...I guess you did.

Here is a fact I just found out about Maine...it is 35,387 Sq Miles...Alberta is 255,287 Sq Miles. Texas is slightly bigger than Alberta.

AngryMan said...

But can I go to all those foreign cities in Maine and see hot Scandinavian women?

pissed off patricia said...

Now thanks to this post, I wanna go to Maine. But kitten biscuits don't do much for me. ;)

SagaciousHillbilly said...

I'm with Ms. Fay. The moose story is just too good to let go.

but you can go here and see a picture or two of some real working mooses.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/workmoose.asp

or here for more moose lore:
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/poormoose.asp

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/moosemount.asp

My Dad's nick name was "Moose," but you wouldn't want to see a picture of him.

Colonel Colonel said...

PrePonderings: Wow! Such a peaceful looking place.

It certainly was. It was 30 miles by one-lane dirt logging road to the nearest store...

Malach: Mainiac are a little slow.

Yeah, but there's no reason up there to be fast.

Sara: I really wanted that moose pic to be real too, Colonel (sniff).

Next time I go up I'm taking my caera and an extra-big harness.

Phoebe: I still believe the moose story. If there's anything I've learned from all these years of BushCo., it's never let facts interfere with your beliefs!

Yeah! Enough with the Fact-Based bullshit.

NerdGirl: You did a beautiful job with those photos...

Thanks! The scenery made it much easier.

Sirdar: Here is a fact I just found out about Maine...it is 35,387 Sq Miles...Alberta is 255,287 Sq Miles. Texas is slightly bigger than Alberta.

According to bumper stickers I've seen, Texas is apparently bigger than lots of places. Oh well, I suppose they need the space for all those dickheads.

AngryMan: But can I go to all those foreign cities in Maine and see hot Scandinavian women?

I'm not sure, but it would be an interesting project.

pissed off patricia: Now thanks to this post, I wanna go to Maine. But kitten biscuits don't do much for me. ;)

I hear Kitten biscuits are good with puppy gravy. And welcome to MMB!

SagaciousHillbilly: I'm with Ms. Fay. The moose story is just too good to let go.

It really is, and thanks for the links! The decides it, next trip I take the harness and the camera.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

there is NEVER enough nekkid pics of liv tyler.

Catalyst said...

Why, Colonel, I would have thought you would have been the one looking for beaver.