Monday, November 19, 2007
Jesus Does Not Love Your Cellphone
Amy's choir sang Gabriel Faure's Requiem in D Minor yesterday at a local college. Faure's piece is extraordinarily lovely, chromatic and Romantic, and they sang it at a soaring Gothic chapel which was a perfect setting. It was a very nice afternoon.
Howsomever, there were a few interludes during the performance which made me realize that perhaps some members of the rest of the audience could use a few helpful tidbits of advice regarding concert-going. So, being a helpful sort, I offer them now-
1. Yes, it is cute that your cellphone ringer tune is the William Tell Overture. It blended very nicely with the opening bars of the 'Sanctus'. I hope the next call you get is important enough to make it worthwhile retrieving your cellphone from the toilet in the lavatory, because I swear to God, that's where I'm going to throw it.
2. Jesus may love your squalling baby, but the rest of us LOATHE him. Leave him home next time with a sitter. If he's too young for a sitter, then stay home with him 'till he's old enough. The movies and restaurants and concerts will all still be there next year.
3. At the other side of the age spectrum, I don't care how proud you are of them, sitting at a concert whispering stories about your grandkids back and forth while the performers are singing makes me wish you had drowned them all at birth.
4. To the concert-goers who insist on eating nuts from crinkly foil pouches during the concert- go to the gym instead of a concert. We'll both feel better.
On an unrelated musical note, if you're a country music fan and don't yet have a copy of Miranda Lambert's new cd, "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend", buy one immediately. Miranda has it goin' on!