after browsing the news headlines...
Eliot Spitzer. *sigh*. So look, what's up, Dawg? A law-and-order guy like you gets elected Governor of New York by a landslide and then you get caught in a high-priced call-girl sting? What were you thinking? You're a politician. Get a mistress like the rest of them do!
Hillary Clinton is suddenly gushing on and on about what a wonderful Vice-President Barack Obama would be. Right. You can't fool us, 'Hill. You just need a trustyworthy golfing buddy for Bill who can keep him out of trouble.
England is considering making schoolchildren recite a Pledge-of-Allegiance-style pledge to the Queen. Huh. I didn't know Richard Simmons was British.
The Air Force's F-117 'Stealth' fighter is being retired. When I read this I thought, "Geez, they didn't get much mileage out of that one did they?" It seems like just yesterday it was unveiled to much hoopla and applause. Turns out it's been in service for twenty-seven years. Twenty-seven years. When the fuck did I turn into Wilfred Brimley? And NO, I don't want to hear from anyone too young to know who Wilfred Brimley is...
Madonna was just inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Yeah, I know I loved to get down to her belting out "Bang Your Head".
I don't want to upset my friend Ted Velvet, but there are signs that the Yankees may be getting desperate in their search for pitching.
It turns out that not even Microsoft executives can make Vista work. I swear to God, I just heard my iMac chuckle when I typed that sentence.
Let's see, gas is $3.50 a gallon, unemployment is up, manufacturing is down, the entire financial system is in meltdown, stocks are sliding, and inflation is heating up. But yet, the White House says we're not in a recession. I assume that's because the CEO of Exxon/Mobil/Halliburton can afford to buy a 12th Hummer. I feel so much better now.
Oh well, I comfort myself that as long as there is an America, there will be school bus races-