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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Storm Clouds & Killer Chihuahuas-

From today's News You Can Use Dept.-

Stormy Weather- The National Hurricane Center has released its predictions for the 2007 season, with a higher-than-normal total of 13-17 named storms, 7-10 hurricanes, and 3-5 major hurricanes expected. That's all well and good, but what, you want to know, will these storms be named? Well, along with prosaic Barry, Jerry, Karen and Mellissa, we'll also have Chantal, Felix, Humberto, Lorenzo, Noel, Olga, Pablo, Tanya and Van.

It all sounds a bit like the roster of a prep-school bordello.

& More Stormy Weather- Meanwhile, the National Hurricane Center's bosses at the National Oceanographic & Atmospheric Administration are going to spend $4 million to publicize their 200th anniversary celebration, while cutting $700,000 from hurricane research.

A NOAA spokesman said “It's part of our responsibility to tell the American people what we do.”

No, goombah. It's your responsbility to tell us what the freakin' weather is going to be. Cutting $700,000 from hurricane research to spend it on party banners isn't going to do that.

Killer Chihuahuas American Idol SuperBabe Paula Abdul was hurt on Saturday when she tripped over her Chihuahua, 'Tulip'.

"I took a nasty fall trying not to hurt my dog. I bruised myself on my arm, my chest, my waist all the way down to my hip. All from my little chubby Tulip. Tulip has no remorse. She just stared at me," Abdul told US entertainment TV show, Extra.

Tulip was unhurt. Ms. Abdul suffered a broken toe and a broken nose. I guess if you're going to inflict a name like 'Tulip' on a dog, you'd better watch your step...

UPDATE: Catalyst has noted that any story about Paula Abdul needs more pictures, a sentiment I quite agree with. As pictures of her PCE (Post-Chihuahua Episode) show her a bit banged up, I decided to go back to the archives for an old favorite-

8 comments:

Phoebe Fay said...

Hurricane Chantal?!?!?!

If that isn't evidence of a coming Armageddon, I don't know what is.

As for cutting the hurricane research, that's perfectly in line with Bushie thinking. Hurricanes are terrorist weather formations, and we don't negotiate with terrorists.

catalyst said...

What happened to fine names like Colonel, and Phoebe, and Mike, and, and, and CATALYST!!

As for Ms. Abdul, I demand pictures.

Colonel Colonel said...

Phoebe- you're right! We don't have to worry about preparing for hurricanes- we'll just de-fund them!

Catalyst- I have been writing letters for a Hurricane Colonel for seeral years (despite the various court orders forbidding me from contacting anyone at NOAA) and would be happy to add Hurricane Catalyst to my list.

As for Paula, I'll get to work on it.

Mike said...

I am just so thrilled that the Chihuahua came out okay. I mean Paula WAS great, but hell we could never have enough Chihuahuas in the world.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- I knew you'd be concerned, so I was careful to make clear that no chihuahuas were injured in the creation of that news story.

Sara Sue said...

Ha! You said, "banged up" about Paula Abdrool!

Joey Polanski said...

Dude!

Paula Abdul dont evn make my thumb go up.

Colonel Colonel said...

Sara Sue- it's scary what the subconcious will make you do, isn;t it?

Joey- it isn't my thumb that Paula affects either. I suppose it's a matter of taste- some bloggers are not yet convinced that Marcia Cross is the hottest Desperate Housewife either...