Monday, May 07, 2007

Thoughts for a Distracted Monday-

The weekend and week so far have been nuts- no time to finish any of the original, interesting blog posts I had in mind. But Audrey Tatou and I had some stray thoughts for a distracted Monday, stolen from somewhere else-

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, and you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30??

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.


Mike said...

Well if you ask the people of Utah, ALL of the illegal aliens are here. They are easy to pick out because according to the way they act, all Hispanics are illegals. Utahans are just simple that way.

Phoebe Fay said...

Audrey Tatou wasn't enough of a distraction on her own? Not that I'm complaining.

And Mike, I found a website about famous Mormon vampires. Kid you not.

What was that one about teach a person to use the Internet...

anaglyph said...

Hey, nice: getting Audrey to help out with yer stats. Is she on a retainer? God knows - Sister Veronica is costing me a fortune in fluffy white towels....

Mike said...

Right now, even as we speak, Slim Whitman is doing unspeakable things to Audrey. Unspeakable!!!!

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- How do they feel about Texans?

Phoebe- I'm sorry, I was Googling something... what did you say?

Reverend- Perhaps we could get Audrey and Sister Veronica together?

Mike- Is Slim still around? My investment in all his "limited edition" albums is not going particuarly well.

anaglyph said...

Oh dear! That could be real trouble.

(Plus, that image just caused my mental Smut-O-Meter to swing into the red...)