Car names have always fascinated and appalled me. Back when I was a kid they at least made some sort of sense- you had a variety of animals such as the Impala, or things you could do, like the Rambler. But then things began to go south. VW came out with the “Golf”. I mean, wtf? Worse things came as car manufacturers discarded the actual language completely and began to make up words- Lumina. What the Hell is that?
Some names these days are frighteningly accurate- the Chevy ‘Suburban’, for instance, or the Ford ‘Expedition’ (yeah, like anyone who buys one actually goes on one). Some seem to be taking their buyers for such idiots they end up being simply silly- the Dodge ‘Caliber’ & ‘Nitro’, the Ford ‘Edge’, Nissan ‘Maxima’, or the Jeep ‘Patriot’.
And then there are the made-up names, which get weirder each year- Cadillac ‘Escalade’, Mitsubushi ‘Galant’, Nissan ‘Altima’, Toyota ‘Yaris’, VW ‘Eos’ and ‘Touareg’.
Huh?
So I decided to have a contest. I'm sure we can all come up with better names than the crap out there now. Here are my modest entries-
SUV's
* Acurra Agressa
* Ford Phalanx
* Toyota Rollova
* Chevy Guzzla
Luxury Cars
* Cadillac Mobsta
* Mercedes Indebta
* Mitsubishi Exclusiva
Sports Cars
* Porsche Testes
* Ford Phallus
* Lexus Wannabe
* Mazda Mefirsta
* Pontiac Pissoff
11 comments:
Good ones!
Nobody's ever named a car the name I would give a car. The Zippy! A Toyota Zippy... doesn't that just ooze cute and fun? That's what I want.
Or a Zoom Zoom. I would get me a little Mazda ZoomZoom!
Phoebe- I'd buy a Zippy!, especially if it came with that cute exclamation point at the end. Sorry. At the end!
How about:
Yugo Nowhere
Saab Becauseipaidtoomuch
Why can't we just say "The pretty blue one" and everyone know what we're talking about? *Sigh
Kerstin- Perfect, I love the Yugo name, and your Saab entry for some reason reminds me of that hot new car, the Volvo WontGo. Maybe Saab should have stuck to airplanes.
Oops, Kerstin also reminds me of my other peeve about cars these days- you can get one in any color, as long as its some shade of gray.
I remember when a parking lot looked like a bag of M&Ms.
I suppose this all explains why I drive a Dodge.
I have two Dodges - a Dynasty and a Neon. I'd say they should both be named Dodge Damnits.
My favorite car name currently is the Porsche Cayenne. But how did an SUV become named for a hot pepper?
Catalyst- I do soooo want to say "WE HAVE A WINNAH!"
-but I'll wait...
Sorry to nit-pick, but there ARE Touaregs. Blue-eyed Bedou. Remember Biggles?
As for cars, how about naming them Bomb and Bush?
J.A.P.
J.A.P.- well, I'll be damned. I couldn't even manage to spell it...
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