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Saturday, April 01, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: ABE Acquires Ebay

San Jose, CA: Internet auction site Ebay today announced that it was being acquired by Victoria, British Columbia internet bookselling database Advanced Book Exchange for 3 billion dollars in gift certificates.

Ebay spokesman Itsa H. Oax told reporters at the firm's San Jose headquarters, "we really think this sale makes sense from a financial standpoint. The folks at ABE called at 11:30 last night and made us an offer we couldn't refuse".

When asked if the fact that the entire sale is to be financed with gift certificates presented a risk, Ms. Oax said "well, why not? ABE is a stable company with a terrific relationship with its dealers. What could possibly go wrong?"

ABE officials were not available for comment, though one company spokesman did respond to an email by saying that ABE values its relationship with reporters and someone from the company would get back to us.

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