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Monday, November 17, 2008

You'd Think It Would Go Without Saying, But-

Got a cold. Feeling bitchy. Reading the news and wondering what some people are thinking.

You'd think it would go without saying, but-

-if you're going to walk along active train tracks, don't be boppin' to the tunes on your iPod headphones.

-if you're going to live in the canyons of southern California, make sure anything of sentimental value is ready to pack at a moment's notice, and decide beforehand that the rest of it can be replaced. facing a 50-foot wall of flames with a garden hose is 10xstupid.

-if you're shipping ANYTHING worth more than a buck-fifty Canadian, do NOT ship it anywhere near the coast of Somalia.

-if you were thinking most of that $700 Billion Wall Street bail-out was not going to end up in insider's pockets, I have some credit-default swaps to sell you.

-if you think Citibank's CEO is not going to get a big-fat bonus for laying off all those working stiffs a month before Christmas, see above.

-if NASA thinks it's going to get promising young candidates for the next generation of the space program with headlines like "Astronauts at International Space Station Drink Own Urine", see above.

-according to the US government, the healthiest US city is Lincoln, Nebraska. All that news does is make me want to order more cheesy fries.

-one more headline: "After Meeting, Obama, McCain Agree to Work Closely Together". Uh huh. At what, keeping Sarah Palin out of the White House? If that's it, I'm sure they'll have plenty of bi-partisan support. I see Mitt Romney has his hand up to volunteer already...

8 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

The Mormons effectively negated any POSSIBLE shot that Romney would have at furthering his political career, methinks.

I don't need headlines to find dumbassery; the semester is drawing to a close and students are starting to get desperate....

Catalyst said...

Wow! I hadn't thought of it but Mrs. Chili is dead-on-right!

2012 GOP candidate may be someone we haven't even heard of yet.

Malach the Merciless said...

That is cause them Nebraskans can drop there kids off at any hospital no questions asked

Hungry Mother said...

Poor Miles O'Brien had to drink some of that reprocessed urine. How far the mighty O'Brien twins of CNN have fallen, to be replaced by pretty news readers.

Phoebe Fay said...

I'm not worried about NASA's recruitment. Being an astronaut is still by far the very coolest thing possible. I'd drink Dick Cheney's urine if it meant I could go up in space.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mrs. Chili: God, how I hope you are right about Mitt & the Morons, I mean Mormons. Unfortunately, I think the Palin/Romney voters like that crap.

Catalyst: The best bet is always against the sure bet.

Malach: Can we do that with used-up Presidents?

HungryMo: First, i have to aplolgize for not being at your great blog for far too long. I am in waaaaay over my head, and have not gotten 1/10th of the places I need to be.

But that urine thing- can we give it to FauxNews anchors?

Phoebe:I'd drink Dick Cheney's urine if it meant HE'D go up in space...

Sara Sue said...

I kinda like you when you're bitchy! Hope you're feeling better soon.

Malicious Intent said...

Sheesh, you are soooo negative. Everything is just peaches and cream. Honestly, I don't know where you get all this rubbish!

And we (the American people) should send Sarah Palin a nice big giant fruity....er fruit basket and THANK her for the fine job she did keeping McCain out of the White House.

Everyone loves a good train wreck so she will be in the news a bit more I am sure.