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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

10 Little Things-


There are plenty of things in the world that are REALLY upsetting- war, pestilence, illiteracy, arrogance, willful stupidity & Donald Trump, for instance. But then there are those little things we encounter each day which are tiny on the Cosmic Scale, but annoy us anyway. I humbly offer my own list; please feel free to contribute your own, and then we'll see what we can do about it all...

10 LITTLE THINGS THAT ANNOY THE F--K OUT OF ME


- 10-mile-a-gallon SUV's with a slew of "I Support Our Troops" magnets plastered all over the back. These folks may be being ironic, but I don't think so.

- The use of the word "impact" instead of "affect", especially in news stories, or on NPR, where they should know better.

- Parents who obliviously block the aisle in the supermarket while having a serious discussion with their 2-year old about what kind of foreign cheese he'd like her to buy this week (an actual incident).

- The person behind you and in the lane to your left on the highway who just has to kick in the afterburners and get it up to 90 so they can get to the exit ahead of you.

- People who blame God for their own bigotry (as in "I have nothing against gay people, but God hates them").

- People who really believe that Fox News is fair and balanced.

- People who, when you say 'thank you", say "No Problem," instead of "You're welcome".

- People who begin a sentence by saying "Well, of course I've never heard/read/watched [insert name of music/show/book here], but..." and then proceed to criticize it.

- The fact that newspapers all seem to have fired their copy editors and now rely on spellcheck.

- turnips.

21 comments:

Mike said...

First of all, I love this post. I may steal it because God knows I have a lot of things that annoy me.

Recently new to my list: Parents of little kids that think the whole fucking world wants to "enjoy" their little urchins.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- welcome back, and feel free! Oh yes, the "sharing" of the little darlings with the public at large. BRAVO had a Whoopi Goldberg special last night where she told a story about being on a "public conveyance" where a kid was running up and down the aisle; after it had been going on for a while and nobody else did anything but grimmace Whoopi said to the kid "If you don't go back to your mother and be quiet I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!!"

And then the mother got huffy.

I thought you were going to list airlines which have more scheduled flights than working pilots...

Kerstin said...

Ok, I'm totally guilty of saying "You bet" after someone says "Thanks." And now that I think about it, I can understand why that is annoying.

Great list.

Colonel Colonel said...

Kerstin- actually, "you bet" doesn't annoy me. It's an affirmative sort of response, which "no problem" is not.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Hey!!! You stole my list! Or so I thought until I got to the last item. (I like turnips.)

Colonel Colonel said...

HTGT- I love parsnips, another root vegetable that most people loathe.

jgodsey said...

only 10? i have a lot more than that.

Colonel Colonel said...

Gods- don't get me started on a complete list. We'd be here for a few days...

Joey Polanski said...

I hate it when fokes use 'effect' insteada 'affect', and vice versa.

Especialy when theyr speakin wifout usin word-balloons.

Colonel Colonel said...

Joey- yeah, I am affected by the affectation effected.

Or perhaps I'm impacted, I've lost track. I should eat more roughage.

Sara Sue said...

Having just done two full days of driving across two states I can relate to the afterburners who *must* get in front of you. I'd like to add the dim wits who drive in the fast lane at a slower rate of speed than the speed limit.

Colonel Colonel said...

Sara- great addition!!

anaglyph said...

I have a personal distaste for the 'impact-used-as-a-verb' thing too.

But it's a losing battle. Even our beloved government broadcaster the ABC has accepted it into usage now.

Sigh.

At least it's not as bad as turning the word 'caveat' into a verb by adding 'ing' to it, which I heard a reporter do recently. Seriously.

anaglyph said...

Oh, and I actually find American girls saying 'you bet!' at the end of a sentence quite endearing. I had a crush on a girl once who used to do that.

You bet!

Colonel Colonel said...

Reverend- "Caveating"????

**shiver**

Users of the word caveating should be impacted.

You bet!

Mybrid said...

Would like to add Squash to your list. Must be an American thing.

Ok, I go stand in the corner now.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mybrid- I always hated winter squash when I was growing up. Later I found that it's quite tasty if you add a bunch of butter, salt and pepper.

Of course, turnips might be better that way too, but I'm not trying them.

Catalyst said...

Colonel, I think my current most disliked "thing" is people who respond to "Thank you" by saying "thank you." WTF ever happened to "you're welcome?"

Come to think of it, I don't like WTF either.

Sara Sue said...

I got another one ... people who put the tops back on items half way ... so that when the next person goes to get *that thing* there's every chance in the world it will spill or worse ... BUGS.

Sara Sue said...

Grown ass people.

Colonel Colonel said...

Catalyst- yeah, wtf is up with that?

Sara- don't get me started- we drink high-pulp oj that you really need to give a good hard shake to before you open the top... except when you don't know that the top is really already open.

I'm not sure what grown ass people are, but they sound annoying.