Bitch, Bitch, Bitch...

Not that it really matters, but-

-In Texas you can get arrested for saying "Fuck" at Wal*fart. Wow- if you said "God Damn!" would they just shoot you?

-FauxNews is wetting its pants because the Senate may actually try to pass Health Care reform on the basis of a majority vote, instead of going for a filibuster-proof 60 votes. Aside from sending them back to the dictionary to see what the definition of "Democracy" is, one might point out to the fine folks at Faux that the Republicans had eight years to provide decent health care to Americans, and their only solution to the problem is, and always will be, "we're sorry you're sick, and the only way to make you better is to cut taxes".

-Flying anywhere in the near future? The FAA not only won't write rules that say airlines and airports must report bird strikes on aircraft, they now want to keep the information they have on the subject secret from the public. So ok, fine, the FAA is going to once again become the airline industry's trade association -can we get the government to start a new agency that actually oversees the safety of the flying public?

-Alan Keyes, whose grasp of reality has always been pretty tenuous, appears to have completely gone over the edge into WackoLand-



-R.I.P. Dan seals.

Yeah, Stop Being So Selfish!!

God Bless Portia de Rossi-

So, What's Up With That???

I know, long time, no blog, I'll be back soon!

But today one burning question- why does the Constitutional guarantee of separation of church and state only work one way? The churches get to avoid interference from the state (no taxes, not subject to many laws, employment laws, for instance), but the state isn't free from political interference from churches?

Annoyed minds want to know!

I want one! I want one!!

Word Freak!!

I just unearthed a small pile of buttons I picked up at one the the yearly Boston Globe Book Festivals back in the late 70s or early 80s. Here's one-

Movie Review- Kate Winslet Nude ...um, I mean, "The Reader"

Colonel Colonel is still sleeping off the after-effects of his birthday celebration, so this is Staff Sergeant Sterno with our latest MMB Movie Review. Today- "The Reader".

As bibliophiles, we went to see "The Reader" in the expectation of seeing a scholarly movie about books. Then Kate Winslet got nude.

And then she got nude again.

And then she got nude again.

Kate Winslet gets nude a lot in this movie. There's also a plot involving Nazis and war crimes and coming-of-age boys and some other stuff, but basically, kate Winslet gets nude.

A LOT.

4 STARS !!!!!
5 STARS!!!!!!!
10 STARS, whatever. did I mention that Kate Winslet spends most of the movie nude?

I'm just waiting for the dvd.

Second thoughts...

Did we all make an awful mistake? In an upcoming interview with Esquire Magazine, Sarah Palin shows exactly the caliber of mind we missed out on when we didn't elect her to the Vice Presidency-

Palin said she named [her daughter] Bristol in part for Bristol, Conn. -- home of the sports network ESPN. "When I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster," she said. "Until I learned that you'd have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol."

Isn't that exactly the sort of reasoning our country needs right now? What have we done???

Grumble-

Random musings after a glance at today's news headlines-

-If you're a governor who's been caught on tape auctioning off a US Senate seat, at least have the balls to attend your own impeachment trial. You'll still be impeached, but you'll at least preserve a shred of human dignity, and show an ounce of respect for all the citizens who once voted for you. Unless, of course, you really are as nutty as a jar of Planters Peanuts.

-Speaking of which, after all we've learned about the peanut processing plant that has killed, what, a dozen people so far, does anyone out there really still believe the food industry is able to self-regulate?

-If you're a mom with six kids who is "surprised" that after taking fertility drugs you suddenly have eight more, you're on route to lose an IQ contest with bread mold.

-I used to have a lot of respect for Jason Varitek.

-After running the country into the ground over the last eight years, House and Senate Republicans owe it to all of us to just shut the fuck up and punch the "yes" button during each vote for a while.

-People who gave money to pass California's Proposition 8 (which banned same-sex marriage) just went to court to get an exemption from California campaign-finance disclosure laws which mandate that their names be publicly available. They lost. Welcome to Democracy, guys. When you give money to take away your fellow citizens rights, don't expect to get extra rights for yourself in return.

-After having one of its worst years on record, 80% of Wall Street workers got bonuses averaging $112,000 last year. 64% of them don't think they got enough. That, in a nutshell, is what's gone wrong with the country.

-Joe Torre is The Man.

-Just months after Sarah Palin burst onto the national scene, a volcano near Anchorage, Alaska is about to erupt. Maybe there actually is a vengeful God...

Hey everyone- JUST 24 HOURS 'TILL THE WEEKEND!!

R.I.P., John Updike

Fare thee well, we say.
Your writing kept us all young.
Kid fans say, "Adieu".

Why B Normal?

Just when you thought the inauguration of Barack Obama had made it safe to come out from under the covers, there are new Looney Tunes out there, making a good case for just staying in bed until Spring.

Here in Massachusetts a former state Senator, who was caught on an FBI camera stuffing envelopes of cash into her bra, has explained that this was perfectly innocent- friends have given her over $70,000 in cash in white envelopes over the last few years, and there was never any suggestion that they were owed any political favors back. I'm so glad she cleared that up, and it leaves me thinking I need to go out and get a new group of friends.

Oh yes, and our House Speaker is resigning because it came out that a lobbyist paid tens of thousands of dollars in legal bills for his family, so life is back to normal in the Bay State.

We at least seem normal when compared with Texas, where the State Board of Education is taking another whack at Evolution. Yes, folks, Evolution is "just a theory", and so are gravity and plate tectonics. Personally, I want the Texas board to rule that all school textbooks have to include equal time for my theory, that the earth's continents ride around on the backs of giant, subterranean, fire-belching turtles.

And what discussion of "normality" would be complete without reference to Illinois Governor Rod "Bats in the Belfry" Blagojevich, who was caught on tape trying to sell a Senate seat? Yesterday he told the newspaper that his arrest by the FBI was comparable to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, and that in trying to put his tribulations into perspective, "I thought about Mandela, Dr. King, [and] Gandhi."

You keep thinking, there, Rod, you'll get that insanity plea accepted yet. Well, at least you don't live here (I think this must be W's new address)-

I Can't Think of Anything Else to Say-

Dear World-

This just in from my brother-in-law-

Dear World:

We, the United States of America , your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4. Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come.

We thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,

The United States of America

No Aqua Vita, Prego.

Venice is flooding again, but you have to love the spirit of the Italians...

Just Give Me Some Shoulder Pads-

I don’t care what anyone says- the 80s were a lot of fun. And 10 bonus points for being able to name the movie this song was featured in (50 bonus points for being able to describe the scene).

10 Things I Learned from My Cats-

A week or so ago one of the national Sunday newspaper magazines had a story titled “ten things You Can Learn from Your Pet. That got me thinking about all the valuable lessons I have learned over the years from our cats-

10. If you have a tummy ache, hacking up disgusting things in someone else’s slippers will make you feel better.

9. You can always get what you want by wailing loudly enough for it.

8. A good goal in life is to sleep all day in the sun.

7. Canned horse meat is tasty.

6. So are mouse heads.

5. It’s never a bad time to lick yourself.

4. There’s nothing quite as amusing as an empty cardboard box.

3. Couches are for shredding.

2. People will forgive anything if you’re cute.

1. As long as you don’t get caught, it’s ok to pee on the carpet.