Tuesday, September 23, 2008


I didn't write this -wish I had.


Dear American:

I was given your name as a trusted person I can write to and ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude and most importance for your attention.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for immediately large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, I can promise it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe and contains no risk to you.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance by our enemies. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson


moooooog35 said...


Had they asked for your great grandchildren's information, I'd be suspicious that this wasn't real.


Colonel Colonel said...

Moooog- yeah, when they ask for the third generation's info, that's a scam. I'm sitting here singing "I'm in the MONEEEYYYY! I'M IN THE MONE- oh, wait... shit.

Hungry Mother said...

You know they're going to punish the innocent and reward the guilty, so the course of action is clear: get on the guilty side.

anaglyph said...

$800bn! Wow, you've topped my best single offer. And from the Minister of the treasury of the Republic of America, no less.

I can't see how you could possibly lose out by sending them a black cheque & all your bank details. C'mon -it's completely safe and contains no risk to you!

Colonel Colonel said...

HunrgyMo: Like Tom Paxton wrote: I'm changing my name to Chrysler...

Reverend: I decided to put it on my Amex. That way I can always request a chargeback.

Malicious Intent said...

I got one and included my responses earlier in the month

BTW, love the new header. I am game for a road trip, but can I bring my new flame thrower instead of the old pitch fork and torches? It's so much easier to carry and light.