Last Thursday Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson got Congressional leaders together and gave them a message- give Wall Street $700 Billion dollars now or the entire global economy will go belly up within a week.
Today he told Congress that unless we give Wall Street $700 Billion dollars now the American economy may suffer a recession.
Hmm- that's quite a change of story. and pardon me for pointing this out but, as far as the working person goes- we're ALREADY IN A FUCKING RECESSION.
As we have always believed in equal time1 here at MBB, we're proud to present the following message to Treasury Secretary Paulson and all the Wall Streeters who are currently salivating at the thought of having $700 Billion taxpayer dollars to play around with, no strings attached-
Fat fucking chance. You guys have spent the last decade playing fast and loose with the rules, the economy, and even fundamental logic. You discovered that you could create new financial "instruments" faster than the government could regulate them, and then discovered that the government had no intention of even trying to. You discovered that you could make billions off the staid, boring old mortgage market by bundling mortgages, chopping and dicing them, and re-bundling them as "investment-grade" bonds, and then insinuating them into every sector of the economy so that the entire thing would be harder to unravel than the world's largest ball of rubber bands.
You let your street pushers, the mortgage brokers, know that you'd buy -anything- *wink* *wink* that they brought in. You bought those mortgages knowing that your pushers had lied to a bunch of the lendees, telling them that adjustable rate mortgages were actually fixed rate. You bought adjustable rate mortgages that you knew had been sold with the assurance (which you knew was worth nothing) that before the rate went up they could be re-financed at a lower rate, and then you bundled and sold those mortgages on the basis that they would give a rate of return based on the original, adjusted higher rates.
In other words, you and your minions, you and your street pushers, sliced and diced the mortgage market, the economy, and hundreds of thousands of home-owners, and you made billions and billions in profits for yourselves while you were doing it. And now, having brought the economy to the brink of collapse for your own selfish gain, you're threatening to push it over the edge of the cliff if we don't pay you not to.
So here's what we're going to do- first, you can have the fucking money, but there's a price to pay. To begin with, we now own you. We're not giving you money, we're buying you with it. You and your firms belong to us now.
Second- you're fired. All of you, from the top CEO to the last secretary. Ever hear of common responsibility? You have 24 hours to clean out your desks.
Third- those of you at the top, don't go too far, because you're going to be prosecuted for fraud. Your bank accounts, portfolios and property all now belong to the US taxpayer. You can't profit from a crime, remember? So everything you have belongs to us now. Don't worry, you won't need it- you're all going to spend the next 20 years in prison.
So, you think this is harsh, do you? Listen up, fuckheads- you're damned lucky that thousands of middle-class Americans are not descending on Wall Street right now with torches, burning your fancy-ass Republican banker's skyscrapers to the ground and pulling you out of the smoking debris so that we can beat you to death with manhole covers.
So show us a little fucking gratitude, fucktards!
1 Well, I know, of course we don't.