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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Let's Have a Contest-


Let's have a contest! This is going to be a variation of those "rotten writing" contests, and the rules are as follows: entries must be book-related, over the top, and you can enter as many times as you want. Anyone who wants to break any of those rules, be my guest.


Here are my starting entries-

Patty was a knockout, but the longer you looked at her the more you had the feeling that she had been well-thumbed by avid 'readers', like an old paperback copy of "Jaws" sitting on the bedside table at the beach house.

Tony walked up to the bar and sat down beside Tanya. "Boy", he thought to himself, "I'd love to index her text."

Barabara shook her head sadly. "Jack's got a good title page," she told Samantha, "but his colophon's surprisingly small, if you know what I mean".

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17 comments:

anaglyph said...

It was the best of type, it was the worst of type.

anaglyph said...

(I know that's not particularly dirty, but I couldn't resist).

Colonel Colonel said...

Reverend, as on my favorite email list, the rules are that there are no rules. Good work!

Mike said...

"Wow," Dick said. "Washington looks like a really great town."

"Yeah," Jane agreed. "They've got all those great buildings and monuments there. Looks like it would be a great place to start a government."

"Yeah," Dick agreed sadly.

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike- well, ok, I guess we are open to the Horror genre as well.

Joey Polanski said...

HAHAHAHA!

Geez, Colonel!

I think yer openin entries mighta ended th contest!

HAHAHAHA!

"When she saw th dog-eard copy of I, the Jury on my nightstand, she knew shed be seein stars bfore shed see th sun."

Colonel Colonel said...

Joey- Mike wanted nothing more in life at that moment than to give her his hammer, but little did he know that, as fast as she popped the little blue pills hidden in her nightstand drawer, she popped men like him even faster.

Colonel Colonel said...

"So, how was Tony?" Julie asked Joy the morning after. "He sure looked well packed. I'd like to rebind him in leather."

Joy shook her head. "He's got a flashy cover, but once we got past the Introduction I'm afraid he's a total speed-reader," she sighed bitterly.

catalyst said...

"Dick Shanary was a good looking well-built guy," said Miss Date, "but under the covers he was nothing but words, words, words."

Joey Polanski said...

"She coud tell, aftr our first meetin, that all o my previous romances was writtn in th first person."

Cissy Strutt said...

A Saturday afternoon in November was approaching the time of twilight and the vast tract of unenclosed common known as Egdon Heath embrowned itself moment by moment. As did the pants of the vagrant sleeping under the hedge.

Mike said...

Let's get Biblical...

"and verily I say unto thee thou shall removeth thy blouseth and exposeth thou knockerseth."

anaglyph said...

Off topic, but still book-related...

Anyone who wants a 'Wife Machine' t-shirt can buy one from my CafePress shop Esoterix.

No markup on these, they are just at the CafePress cost price for all to enjoy.

(Hey - I just went to find your entry on the Wife Machine to link to it and I notice many of your pictures are missing from your archives...)

Colonel Colonel said...

Catalyst, Joey, Cissy, Mike- that's the spirit!

Reverend- that looks great! I've got to go down to New York this morning for a few days, but I'll check out those missing images when I get back, thanks for letting me know.

Joey Polanski said...

Th missing images, Im pretty sure, is due to some kinda systemick thing. I noticd missing images at JPS and Ginger Stick too.

Hopefully, itll correckt itself.

Joey Polanski said...

"Throughout th evening, her editorial skills were on display, as she cut out 90% of what I had in mind."

Colonel Colonel said...

Joey- you are the WINNER!