Tuesday, April 03, 2007

A Bookstore Tale...

A newlywed couple is on their honeymoon. They've spent the first couple of days in the hotel room, so they decide to go outside and play a game of golf for the first time in their lives.

On the first tee the husband slices the ball so hard to the right that it goes crashing through the plate glass window of an antiques/bookstore across the street from the golf course.

The couple immediately run over to the shop to apologize, but when they get there they don't see anyone... just broken glass everywhere.

Then the young wife screams when she notices a man with a goatee laying on the floor. The man is in a daze. The couple drop to their knees and begin apologizing. The goateed man raises a finger to his lips and tells the couple that they have done him a great favor. He explains that he is a genie and has been trapped in an antique vase for 211 years. By virtue of the errant golf ball, the vase was shattered, and he was finally freed.

The newlyweds are relieved, but still slightly baffled by the turn of events.

The genie then stands, dusts himself off, and then says with a big smile, "Now I would like to repay you for your act of kindness. I'll grant you two wishes. What would you like? Anything... Just name it!"

The husband speaks up first. "One billion dollars."

The genie smiles and says, "Your wish is granted. I'll have the money deposited into your joint account within 15 days."

The young wife hugs her husband with delight and says to the genie, "For our second wish, I'd like you to make us PAR golfers on any golfcourse in the world."

The genie says, "After this day, playing par golf will be as natural for you as breathing."

The newlyweds are giddy with delight. The young wife turns to the genie and says, "You've been so kind to us, is there ANYTHING we can do for you?"

The genie lowers his head, smiles a slightly embarrassed smile, and says: "Well, I have been locked in a bottle for 211 years, without the warmth of a woman's touch. I would very much like to make love with you. I would understand if you didn't want to, but I am GIVING you one billion dollars...."

The husband and wife are shocked, but they they figure what the hell...it is a BILLION dollars.

The young bride goes upstairs with the genie. While the genie and his wife are upstairs, the husband sits down and begins to read one of the old first edition books in the store. As he reads he can hear the squeaking of the antique boxsprings coming from one of the beds upstairs.

After a couple of hours of strenuous lovemaking, the genie looks down at the young bride and asks her how old she is.

"22," she says demurely.

"And how old is your husband?" asks the genie.

"He's 32," she answers.

"32? And he still believes in genies?" asks the bookdealer with a smile.


catalyst said...

That what comes from reading too many books, c.c. But keep dreaming.

Colonel Colonel said...

Catalyst- they say Hope can work wonders... and also that there's a sucker born every minute. Some booksellers just do a great job combining the two forces for, er, "good".

Joey Polanski said...

(*strenuously growin a goatee*)

Mike said...

That gives me an idea. I think I am going to start dressing like the Angel Macaroni and hanging out in the LDS temple parking lot on Sunday mornings. As your tale proves, it could work.

Colonel Colonel said...

Joey- and we have a nice range of "Genie Bottles" on sale in the lobby at just $39.95 each. You may laugh now- but if the opportunity ever presents itself, you'll wish you had one on hand!

Mike- Did the Angel Moronic "get" a lot? Hey, those angels- they're a randy bunch.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Surely it's too early in the year for chestnuts, sir.


Colonel Colonel said...

J.A.P.- Too early, or too late.