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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Whose at Bat?


So- I'm walking by the living room door fifteen minutes ago and I hear some odd noises- so I go in and find both of our cats happily dismembering a live bat* in the middle of the oriental rug.

sigh...

The week's going to get better, right, Batgirl?

*yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Rabies. Here's the thing about rabies- it will kill you. Quick. A year and half ago we moved from the city (where the only live bats are in the hands of the Boston Red Sox) to the country, with loft and a barn, where we have hundreds of them all over the fucking place. So wthin six months I had an "encounter" with one. Rabies shots. Here's the thing about rabies shots these days- no big deal. Back when I was a kid we all heard the stories- they come at you with a 5-foot needle, 3 inches around. Not now. They are no sweat at all. If you think you need one - get it. It beats the alternative.

However, this being 2007 Amerikkka, that's not all. Here's the REST OF THE STORY-

Here in America we are not a civilized nation, so you buy your own fucking health insurance. Just a freaking MONTH before my "encounter" wid' de bat, I had changed my plan from the "gilt-edged" (to quote our Resident Asshole) plan, to one with a deductible, for a savings of $200 a quarter, or $800 a year. Hey, what the Hell? I'm 44, never use it anyway, what could go wrong?

So, a month after saving $800, it turns out that rabies shots (you need 5) cost $3000 each. Ok, that's not my bill, but I get hit with deductibles for about $1200... net loss on the year- $400.

You see- this is why I sell rare books. Books, I have a clue. Can make you money. Anything else to do with money- chuck it down the toilet.

And as I write our cats (rabies vaccinated) are chewing the remains of the bat on the rug.

I think we'll get that cleaned tomorow.

7 comments:

Phoebe Fay said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

And my sympathies on the health insurance thing. I have one of those high deductible policies, which means - barring cancer or getting hit by a boss - I pay for all my healthcare. The advantage of the insurance is that I pay for it at insurance company rates instead of off-the-shelf rates. The insurance company rates are usually about half what the doctor/lab presents as their fees. And that's one more way in which the uninsured are screwed.

Phoebe Fay said...

Errr... I meant "hit by a bus."

Little Freudian slip there.

Mike said...

Oh hell, I have had rabies for years and it doesn't hurt a bit. I have this little problem with water and foam at the mouth a lot, but really, other than that it is not a big deal.

I do sympathize with you over the health insurance thing though. I have a friend I used to work with who went into business for himself and has to pay his own insurance. He has some health issues so he figures about half of his working time goes to paying for his insurance.

Mike said...

And I totally resisted the urge to say anything mean about cats. God, I am getting so much better in my old age.

Cissy Strutt said...

I'm glad your cats were happy at their task. I wouldn't like to think of them dismembering a bat with jejune weariness.

anaglyph said...

Does the needle get administered by the girl in the costume?

Forrest Proper said...

Phoebe- yes, "Screwed R' Us". Oh well- at least with the bat retrieved I can make soup this week...

Mike- I guess you're right. It doesn't seem to be bothering Dik Cheney either. And the cats say "thanks you".

Cissy- yes, they are happy in their work. If cats could whistle, they would.

Reverend- Absolutely not! That's my story, and I'm sticking to it...