Don't Miss These!

The television networks are rolling out their new Fall shows, and I'm sensing a trend-

Where's Sarah? - Tina Fey stars in this new ABC comedy about an Alaska housewife-turned-Governor who divides her time between defending the state against Russian invasion, gutting moose, and keeping her lovable husband (John Goodman) from starting an Alaskan war for independence.


McCain & Hussein - From Fox we have a completely fictional action series- Vietnam War veteran and ex-POW Jack McCain (Chuck Norris) spends each week chasing B. Hussein Osama (Tony Shaloub), a secret Islamic agent posing as a respectable American politician who is plotting to destroy America.


Palinpalooza - This new Bravo channel offering gives contestants a chance to win points by throwing pork at a giant map of Alaska. Michael Moore hosts.

And what would an election season be without toys & games?

Coming this Fall from Mattel, the Keating Five Action Figure Set. This set comes with realistic plastic figures of all the Keating Five senators, including a John McCain figure whose arms move up and down to accept bribes. Accessories include black bags full of play money and a Flexible Ethics Accessory Pak^TM for each figure.


Also from Mattel, check store shelves for Twister^TM "Election Edition". Players contort themselves into unusual and impossible shapes as they try to keep both hands and feet on colored circles marked "Experience", "Change", and "Patriotism".

The Hurricane of (18)'15-

It's hurricane season, and we apparently even have one headed this [New England] way for the weekend. It reminded me of an interesting passage in the 1859 book "Two Hundred Years Ago; or, A Brief History of Cambridgeport and East Cambridge" by Sophia Simpson. The "Great Gale" she describes so vividly was in fact the Hurricane of September 23rd, 1815, which meteorologists today estimate was a category 3 storm. Sophia starts out-

"On the 23rd of September, a violent gale of wind destroyed a large amount of property. At sunrise the clouds seemed to be gathering, and there was every indication of an approaching storm-

We've got a picture of the book here.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Dear Senator McCain-

Ccongratulations on finally becoming the Republican party's official Presidential nominee! I know this has not been a great week for you, with the hurricane, and your veep imploding and all, so I wanted to write to cheer you up before tonight's big speech-

-I was happy to hear that you have had more contact with your new Veep selection than any of us had previously thought, since it turns out she made your Shameful Pork Spending List three years running when she was mayor of Wasilla. Damn, it's a small world, isn't it?

-I hear she's pretty smart too- you might have her look at a map and see if she can find that Iraq-Pakistan border you keep talking about.

-Don't worry about her First Dude and his wanting to secede Alaska from the United States. That's nothing that a few years at Gitmo won't cure.

-I was happy to hear about her national defense experience, Russia being across the Bering Strait and all, but you might want to update the Wikipedia page on Alaska history- some liberal has evidently deleted all references to her standing on Attu Island with a 30-30 and taking pot shots at Vladimir Putin when he tried to invade last summer.

-I know it's hard to figure out and remember how many houses you have. Here's a tip- if some liberal press flunkie tries to trip you up on it, make up a number between 5 and 10. If they try to call you a liar, remind them that you were a POW.

-Keep working on getting Wikipedia to change their entry on The Keating Five to be about the punk band. I'm sure they'll give in eventually.

Well, have fun Senator, and remind the floor manager not to play "Barabara Ann" at any point while you're on stage.

-your pal, CC

BREAKING NEWS- oooooh my...

On live mike [which he didn't think was live], John McCain's former campaign manager calls decision to choose Palin "cynical".

Well, this ain't gonna help them...



WASHINGTON POST:

It's all Palin, all the time, on the Web.

Just hours before Gov. Sarah Palin's speech tonight in St. Paul, Minn., the latest YouTube video making the rounds captures off-the-cuff comments from prominent conservative columnist Peggy Noonan and former John McCain campaign manager Michael Murphy following a segment that aired today on NBC with Chuck Todd. Thinking that the microphone had been turned off -- or, perhaps, that the video signal had stopped transmitting -- Noonan and Murphy ripped into Palin as a political choice who would weigh down the GOP ticket.

"It [McCain's campaign] is over," said Noonan.

Asked if Palin was the most qualified woman for the Republican running mate slot, Noonan replied, "The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives and [inaudible] the picture."

Later, she continued, "Every time the Republicans do that because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at and they blow it."

Added Murphy, "You know what's really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism and this is cynical."

Book Banning?

Good morning fellow campers, just a few updates on PalinWatch this a.m.-

There's a very good article in the New York Times this morning, which delves into S. Palin's years as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. It seems that one of the talking points of S. Palin supporters was that S. Palin would be Wasilla's "first Christian mayor", which came as news to the last 7 mayors, all of whom had been Christian, but none of whom were born-again Christian. It also flabbergasted S. Palin's Lutheran opponent, whose name happened to be Stein.

Once elected, S. Palin approached the town's Library Director to discuss removing some books from the town library which S. Palin found morally objectionable. When the Library Director refused, she was fired, only to later be reinstated after a public outcry. Today Party spokesmen argue that the conversation about banning books was merely "rhetorical", but it does seem a bit unusual to bring up such a "rhetorical" discussion upon taking office, and to then fire the librarian who refused to have anything to do with your "rhetorical" suggestion.

The article then relates- "Once in office, Ms. Palin asked many of [the former mayor's] backers to resign — something virtually unheard of in Wasilla in past elections. The public works director, city planner, museum director and others were forced out. The police chief, Irl Stambaugh, was later fired outright."

"When Ms. Palin completed her second and final term, in 2002, her stepmother-in-law, Faye Palin, was running to succeed her. It seemed like a good idea, except that Faye Palin supported abortion rights and was registered as unaffiliated, not Republican, people who remember the race said. Sarah Palin sided instead with Dianne M. Keller, a religious conservative and an ally on the City Council. Ms. Keller won."

And there's a bit more on the Alaskan Independence Party- the Los Angeles Times reports this morning that although GOP officials continue to insist that S. Palin was never a member of the party (the AIP continues to disagree) S. Palin's spouse was a member for 7 years, from 1995-2002. It also reveals that S. Palin addressed the AIP Convention not only in 2008, but in 2006 as well. The article also contains what is sure to become a famous quote from the party's founder, Joe Volger- "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions."

This continues to be an interesting story -can you imagine the brouhaha that we would be hearing about this from the GOP if the tables were turned and we were talking about an affiliation concerning B. Obama's spouse? If B. Obama's spouse had been a member of a party like this from 1995 to 2002, and if B. Obama had addressed the party convention twice, and told party members to "keep up the good work", it would be all John McCain could talk about. I can't even imagine the vitriol, and partisan patriot-baiting that would be occurring.

Well, actually, yes, I can. remember, one GOP talking point is that B. Obama isn't a patriotic American because B. Obama doesn't like beer.

UPDATE: IRAQ WAR- A MISSION FROM GOD: Sometimes it's hard to keep up with this stuff. Huffington Post has unearthed a video of S. Palin speaking to the graduating class of commission students at her church, Wasilla Assembly of God three months ago. In it she said-

"Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending [U.S. soldiers] out on a task that is from God."

Sorting Things Out-

It's been a frenetic few days here in America, with hurricanes and conventions and a Veep candidate imploding, so let's take a moment to stand back and see where we are-

To begin, it may seem to some people, especially those reading from other countries, that bloggers and the press are piling onto S. Palin, Republican candidate for Vice President. I don't really think that's what's going on- nobody I've heard or read has anything against S. Palin personally, and I'm sure we all would wish S. Palin well in all S. Palin's future endeavors, were S. Palin not a current candidate to be the nation's Vice President.

However, S. Palin is a candidate, and so needs to be looked at critically, and we also need to look at S. Palin in the context of the fact that John McCain, who wants to be our President, chose S. Palin as a running mate. We need to know more about S. Palin so we can better understand how good John McCain's judgment is, since he wants to be in charge of the country.

S. Palin was, quite literally, completely unknown to a good 95% of Americans before being introduced last Friday. Since then we have been able to ascertain the following facts concerning S. Palin's political career, and we can use them to decide whether John McCain has shown good judgment in picking S. Palin to be Vice President of the United States-

- In 1994, before getting into politics as a candidate, S. Palin joined a fringe Alaskan political party called The Alaskan Independence Party, whose declared purpose is to hold a vote among Alaskan citizens to declare independence from the United States and to seize Federal lands in Alaska and hand them out to private citizens in Alaska. In the 1970s Joe Vogler, the party's founder, declared, "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions." S. Palin attended at least one party convention and remained a member for two years.

- In 1996, S. Palin left the AIP and joined the Republican party, and ran for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, population about 7,000.

- Upon being elected mayor, S. Palin fired the Chief of Police and Library Director over personal disputes. The firing sparked a citizen's recall petition, and the library Director was re-instated.

- Although S. Palin has a self-styled reputation for being a fiscal conservative, and a champion of small government, during S. Palin's 6-year term as mayor, S. Palin hired a lobbying firm which brought $27 million dollars in Federal "earmark" funds to Wasilla, a rural Alaskan town of about 7,000 people.

- Despite having brought in $27 Million in Federal earmark funds, S. Palin, who had inherited a balanced budget from the previous mayor, left the town with a $12 Million dollar deficit at the end of S. Palin's term.

- When S. Palin ran for Governor of Alaska, and when S. Palin was Governor of Alaska, S. Palin supported the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere". S. Palin congratulated the state's Congressional delegation for getting the money earmarked by the Federal government for the project. When Congress voted to kill the project, a deal was worked out to let the Alaskan government keep the money that had already been paid out, which was about half the total amount.

- Despite the record being quite to the contrary, last Friday S. Palin declared, regarding the bridge, "I told Congress, thanks but no thanks! If we want a bridge we'll build it ourselves!"

I in 2000, S. Palin was an ardent supporter, and fundraiser, for Pat Buchanan, an ex-Republican, Hitler-admiring Holocaust-denier seeking the American Presidency.

- As a mayor and Governor, S. Palin has compiled a fairly lengthy record of firing government employees for personal reasons, including the already-mentioned Library Director and Chief of Police, her liaison with the Alaska Legislature who had started to date her husband's best friend's ex-wife, and the Alaska State Public Safety Commissioner for not firing a state trooper who was in the middle of a child-custody battle with S. Palin's sister.

- In 2007 S. Palin fired the entire Alaska Board of Agriculture after it had voted to close a state-run dairy. S. Palin then appointed a new Board of Agriculture which included many well-connected Alaskans who all had strong financial ties to the dairy or its suppliers and had a vested financial interest in keeping it operating. Unsurprisingly, they voted to keep the dairy open.

In 2008 S. Palin once again became involved with the the Alaskan Independence Party, addressing them at their annual convention via video, and telling them to "keep up the good work".

And so it goes.

Gotta Share-

GOP INTERNAL DOCUMENT - NOT TO BE EMAILED BEYOND CURRENT DISTRIBUTION LIST

Please see the following points on Gov. Palin's family.

* Governor Palin and her husband Todd have a loving family and their children mean everything to them. When their oldest daughter Bristol came to them with news that she was expecting a child they embraced her and gave her unconditional love and support.

* This is a very personal matter for the family. We should all respect the love they have for the child and the desire all parents would have for their children's privacy.

* The media should respect Bristol's privacy. That's always been the tradition and practice when it comes to the children of candidates.

* (If pressed) The children of candidates do not choose to run for office and be thrust into the spotlight.

CUT CAMERA, CUE LEFT -->> !!!

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because her father is Janet Reno.

-John McCain, 1998

[Chelsea Clinton was a minor, age 17, the same age as Bristol Palin, at the time]

And There's More...

And they just keep coming...

Last week S. Palin stood up with John McCain and decried Congressional earmarks, which are a long bugaboo of his. She even took credit for saying "thanks but no thanks" for Federal funding for the Bridge to Nowhere. Now, of course, as has been well documented, that particular claim was a lie, since she supprted the bridge funding as Governor, and the state actually kept the money, but never mind. It now seems that Alaska's Governor has a bit more experience with earmarks that any of us could have suspected-

The Washington Post reports this morning that during her tenure as mayor of the tiny hamlet of Wasilla, Alaska (population under 7,000) S. Palin employed an Alaskan lobbying form with close ties to indicted Congressmen Ted Stevens, and that as a result she brought in more than $27 MILLION in earmarks for the tiny town. In 2002 alone, Wasilla took in $6.1 million in earmarks -for some perspective, this year Boise, Idaho, with more than 190,000 residents, got $6.9 million in earmarks.

My my my... can we all say Pork Barrel Queen?


UPDATE: (well, of course there's an update). S. Palin's new [about-to-be] son-in-law has been identified by the New York Daily News as Levi Johnson, a resident of Wasilla whose now-removed MySpace page proudly declared "I'm a f---in' redneck. I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing. [If anyone messes with me] I'll kick ass."

Sounds like a great addition to the White House Christmas Card photo. Johnson, in adition to plying hockey, is also an aspiring juvenile delinquent, and was arrested last year for poaching king salmon.

A Mole???

Good morning happy campers, welcome back from Labor Day! We're going to ignore the entire BabyGate issue this morning, although I have my own opinions on the matter, and they're quite cynical. Of perhaps more importance is a new question regarding the loyalty of John McCain's new Veep, who it appears was not vetted at all (the FBI has now stated they never did a background check on her, even though such a check is always pro-forma for any potential Veep, and the McCain campaign angrily asserted yesterday that the FBI had vetted her. It turns out that was a lie, but we're quickly getting used to those coming from the McCain campaign).

News has broken that S. Palin has decade-long ties to the Alaska Independence Party, whose platform is to seize Federal lands in Alaska and secede the state from the United States. It would be easy to get over-hyped and paranoid about this weird story, so we're just going to do a brief recitation of the facts, as they have so far come to light. Let's role the videotape-

-The Alaskan Independence Party was formed in the 1970s. It's motto is "Alaska First - Alaska Always". They claim that the 1958 vote admitting Alaska as a state was illegal, because it did not give Alaska residents the choice of becoming independent. Their goal is to force a new vote on statehood, with the option of becoming an independent nation. They also seek "the complete repatriation of the public lands, held by the federal government, to the state and people of Alaska".

-S. Palin and her husband joined the AIP 1994, and were active in the party, attending at least one convention, until she left it to become a Republican and run for mayor of Wasila in 1996.

-S. Palin remains close to the party. This summer she addressed the party's annual convention via video, telling them- "I share your party's vision of upholding the constitution of our great state" and told members to "keep up the good work".

-In a video shown at the same convention this summer, Dexter Clark, the party's vice chairman, told the party members "The situation is completely out of hand, the decay of the federal government is totally complete" and urges members to "infiltrate" the mainstream parties. "Whichever party in that area [in which you are] you can get something done, get into that political party," he says.

So there we are- S. Palin maintains close ties to a party seeking the independence of Alaska and seizure of Federal lands there, whose Vice Chairman has stated the goal of infiltrating members into mainstream political parties. So, I just gotta ask- Has John McCain unwittingly selected a mole to be Vice President?

Huh.

Presidential Fitness Test: #1

Hey there, campers, the staff at MMB hopes you're all having a good Labor Day Weekend, and we wanted to take a moment to reveal the results of the very first Presidential Fitness Test we'll be administering to the two Presidential candidates from time to time.

This week's test was the first any Presidential candidate faces, and it's an easy one to pass- picking a good Vice Presidential running mate.

Now I know we're all heard a lot of chatter about how hard it is to get this one right, and it's true that it's a hard test to get an "A" on if you're taking all the electoral and political considerations into account and grading from "A" to "F", but we're not- we're simply grading "Pass" or "Fail", because the aspect of the test we think is most important is the most basic one- is the running mate qualified to take over as President of the United States if something happens to you?

After all, that's the only Constitutional consideration- taking over from the President is the only reason we have a Vice President in the first place. Ability to work with the President, bringing in voter blocks, or regional blocks, filling out weak sports in the President's resume- that's all frill. A Presidential candidate passes or fails this most basic test based on whether or not their pick is fully capable of taking over the leadership of the entire country at a moment's notice, startng Day One. All in all, it's a fairly easy test, not too hard to pass. I can't recall a candidate who's had any real trouble with it. it's really sort of, you know, pro-forma.

So, let's see how the candidates did-

Barack Obama was up first, and I see he picked a running mate named J. Biden, who's been a distinguished United States Senator for more than 30 years with deep foreign and domestic policy experience. J. Biden is widely respected by his colleagues, and works well with members of the opposing party, and is in fact a personal friend of the competing candidate for President.

John McCain was up second, and let's see how he did- oh, well, uh, he picked a running mate named S. Palin, who has a degree in journalism, served a term as mayor of their hometown, population 7,000, and has worked for the last 20 months as governor of a state with a population one quarter the size of Chicago, Illinois. hmmm. Wait a minute-

[Are we sure that's all the card says? ... really? ... how odd. Are we sure he understood the question? ... well, all right, I guess so. ok, let's go live- ]

Sorry for the delay there, folks, but we have our final grades in this, well, frankly fairly easy test. So let's see the results-

[I'm sorry, are we really sure he understood the question???]

Breaking News-

Crude and utterly inappropriate information to follow. So all of you with refined tastes, except for Mike, Sara Sue, Cissy Strutt, Moooog, Phoebe, Malach, ... oh Hell... all of my regular readers, keep reading...

My Beekslayer friend, Admiral Don, has just found that Sarah Palin is being hailed across the internets as the-

VPILF.

Perfect. Crude, so crude. I'll note that if she had a single, solitary qualification at all this would be utterly inappropriate and we wouldn't be making fun of her, but McCain seems to have opened up the floodgates by insulting women and putting America at grave risk through this incredibly stupid choice. She's the female Dan Quayle of the campaign, and we all remember how seriously we took pretty young Danny Boy.

Lies Already???

Well, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin hasn't wasted any time getting into the Rovian Spirit of current Republican politics- by lying and misrepresenting. It's only been a day, but she's been busy-

- One of her main selling points seems to be that she "stood up to the oil companies" in Alaska. In fact, she shook them down for more state money. Now that's fine- apparently several oil companies were exploiting a tax loophole which she closed, netting the state additional tax revenue, but it's hardly the image the phrase "standing up" conjures in most minds. In fact Palin has a long history of bending over backwards to support the oil companies, including supporting opening the ANWAR to drilling, ignoring the Alaska State Environmental Office's own scientific assessment that polar bears should be given protected species status, opposing any environmental rule or law change that would hurt Big Oil, and she recently gave half a billion (that's a Billion with a "B") dollars in Alaskan state funds to one oil company to help it build a private pipeline. Way to "stand up" to big oil, Sarah!

-It has been widely reported, and claimed by Palin herself, that she was not only opposed to the infamous "Bridge to Nowhere", but stopped the project. Both statements are outright lies. Congress stopped the project, and Palin, both as a candidate and as governor, supported it.

That's it for today- I'm sure that given an additional 24 hours she'll manage to come out with some more whoppers. Yes sir, she's a perfect addition to the GOP ticket.

Do They Think Women Are Morons?

So one-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is McCain's Veep choice. Apparently they are going after disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters, but choosing a rabid anti-choice Neo-Con is an odd way to go about it. Do they really think Hillary supporters are such morons that they'd prefer a candidate who opposes everything they believe in, simply because she happens not to have a dick?

Well, apparently.

And do they really think that they can get any more traction questioning Obama's readiness to govern the country when they plan on placing a person a heartbeat away from the Presidency who's entire government experience consists of two years as governor of Alaska (Alaska, for crying out loud!) and being a one-term mayor of a town of 7,400 people?

I'll hand it to John McCain- he couldn't have hurt his campaign any more, or insulted American women more, if he'd worked at it for a month. But wait, come to think of it, he did work at it for a month.

That sure makes me feel better.

Geez.

UPDATE: So, I've just cruised a few Republican pundit blogs, and of course they're trying to put the best face they can on this. A few admit that it destroys McCain's main argument against Obama, the "unqualified" thing, but most are doing some really ingenious contortions to twist it around. See how these sound to you-

-several argue that she has more "executive experience" than either Obama or Biden, because she's been governor of Alaska for 18 months. So ok, fine. But does being governor of Alaska for a few months qualify you to take over running the United States?

-one especially imaginative fellow is suggesting that she has more foreign policy experience than Obama and Biden, because her state borders Canada and Russia. I can't wait to see how that argument flies in the debates.

I Have A Dream, Today-

Today is the Anniversary of Martin Luther King's 1963 "I HAVE A DREAM" speech-



We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men re crated equal-

I have a dream today.

That my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

This an historic night.

- - -

In other news-

DENVER — Mindful of the pitfalls of hosting cocktail parties while Gulf Coast residents are being evacuated, John McCain’s campaign suggested Thursday that Republicans could postpone their upcoming national convention in St. Paul if Tropical Storm Gustav makes landfall over the weekend.

Well, they may be screwed for a while then. After Gustav hits, Hana is scheduled to hit Florida, and then there are 2 more tropical waves with good circulation coming across the Atlantic that are expected to develop into hurricanes. I suppose they'll simply postpone until October, or is it ok to sipn champagne and pop balloons while a hurricane hits the East coast??

- - -

We remember you Martin, and congratulations to Barack Obama, and to America!

- - -

Friday Morning Update: I was typing McCain's name and didn't cap it so it came out mccain. Spellcheck (which always knows the real truth) didn't like that, and suggested alternate spellings of "cocaine" and "Novocaine".

America, we may have a problem...

I'm an Ebay Slut-

You can buy anything on Ebay...

Cissy Strutt was writing about selling things on Ebay recently, and since I sold my Sense of Shame there last year, I felt no compunction whatever about ripping off her idea for a Monday blog post. I sell and buy on Ebay, but buying by far is the most fun. Here are some really cool things I've won recently-

A bag full of Mitt Romney's Ethics-

The US Air Force's new fighter-interceptor, as modified by the Dept. of Defense to deal with high fuel costs-

A nuclear-powered blender-



A slightly stale pop tart-

A "non-chemical" garden-mole control system-

A pygmy albino fruit-bat-

Of course, not everything always goes well. The seller claimed this was a self-playing saxophone, but unless I let it play it's own tune it sulks and won't do anything at all...

And then there was Dick Cheney's Sense of Decency-