Don't Miss These!

The television networks are rolling out their new Fall shows, and I'm sensing a trend-

Where's Sarah? - Tina Fey stars in this new ABC comedy about an Alaska housewife-turned-Governor who divides her time between defending the state against Russian invasion, gutting moose, and keeping her lovable husband (John Goodman) from starting an Alaskan war for independence.


McCain & Hussein - From Fox we have a completely fictional action series- Vietnam War veteran and ex-POW Jack McCain (Chuck Norris) spends each week chasing B. Hussein Osama (Tony Shaloub), a secret Islamic agent posing as a respectable American politician who is plotting to destroy America.


Palinpalooza - This new Bravo channel offering gives contestants a chance to win points by throwing pork at a giant map of Alaska. Michael Moore hosts.

And what would an election season be without toys & games?

Coming this Fall from Mattel, the Keating Five Action Figure Set. This set comes with realistic plastic figures of all the Keating Five senators, including a John McCain figure whose arms move up and down to accept bribes. Accessories include black bags full of play money and a Flexible Ethics Accessory Pak^TM for each figure.


Also from Mattel, check store shelves for Twister^TM "Election Edition". Players contort themselves into unusual and impossible shapes as they try to keep both hands and feet on colored circles marked "Experience", "Change", and "Patriotism".

Getting Real with Reality

Ever since 'Survivor' first splatted across American televisions like a rotten egg on a windshield (remember how none of us could believe the premise could be real when we first heard about it?) "reality" shows have become weirder and weirder, and whenever I think the lowest point has been reached, some other network tops it. But as low as they've gone, there are still a few depths the network producers haven't plumbed yet, so here at MMB we thought we would.

We proudly present-

A Preview of Next Season's Top New Reality Shows-

"Divorce, Pam Anderson Style" Each week the buxom blonde star marries a new contestant who attempts to stay married to her for the entire episode.

“To Catch an Illegal Immigrant” -Contestants race each other through a mall in Texas trying to identify and capture illegal immigrant workers. Points are deducted for apprehending U.S. Citizens. In Week 1 former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales befuddles the contestants when he guest stars, dressed as a mall janitor.

“Who’s Knocked Up?” -Newly-married couples (hey, this is on Fox, the “Family-Values” network) race each other to get pregnant. Hosted by Britney Spears.

“Dress Like a Ho” -Paris Hilton hosts this new Bravo show which features top models, wearing no underwear, who compete to see how low they can go with their necklines and how high they can hem their skirts without showing “anything”. Contestants flashing nipples or coochie are eliminated, and their photos posted on blogs around the world.

"Who's Mitt Romney Today?" The fun-loving Mormon Presidential candidate takes a variety of stands on popular hot-button issues of the day, as contestants try to figure out what he actually believes.

"American Burger" A table full of hamburgers bought at Wal*Mart contains one burger contaminated with e-coli, but which one? Contestants vie to be the last one not-hospitalized.

Following up on the success of its’ hit show “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”, ABC will allow losing contestants in that show to appear on their new offering, “Well Then, Are You at Least Smarter Than President Bush?”

All right, any additions, anyone?