Sunday, January 04, 2009

Dear Sgt. Sterno-

Note to MMB readers: Today we are debuting a new feature here at MMB, the "Dear Sgt. Sterno" column, which will be hosted by our own Staff Sergeant Sterno. Sgt. Sterno will be glad to answer a wide variety of questions.

Dear Sgt. Sterno- is wanting to see the Miami Dolphins lose a good enough reason to watch a football game involving the (ugh) Baltimore Ravens?

-Confused & Abused in New England

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Dear C&A:

Usually there is no excuse whatsoever for watching a game involving the Baltimore Ravens, but your case is special- Miami forced you New England fans not only to watch the New York Jets last weekend, but to root for them! PTUII! That allows you not only to watch this weeks Miami/Ravens game, but to hope that the Dolphins get the Holy Frigging Snot beat out of them.

-Sgt. Sterno


Mike said...


Sorry, I am from Michigan and I don't know what that is. Can you explain it to me?

Colonel Colonel said...

Mike: Football in Michigan: No, no, I'm not seeing it. Turn left and look for folks with Styrofoam cheeses on their heads. But they're losers.

Huh. I dunno, I'm stumped.

Beach Bum said...

Since the Buccaneers are out as long as Peyton Manning doesn't go the Super Bowel I don't care what happens.

Colonel Colonel said...

Beach: Manning?!?!!? PTUI!!!!!

Malach the Merciless said...

Dear Seargent Sterno, what is the deal with Scientologists?

The Manic Street Preacher said...

Oi!!! The first ever season of that strange game shown in the UK I adopted the Dolphins as my team - didn't have a clue what was going on and still don't - and they won the bloody Super Bowl!!! You leave 'em alone!!

Mind you they've won sod all since...I must be a jinx

anaglyph said...

Dear Sgt Sterno:

Recently while in your country I discovered that bottled water is more expensive than gas. Should I give up the idea of trying to sell my revolutionary new water-powered car in the US?