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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Lift those spuds!!

Let's not end the day on a down note. Excercise lifts your spirits, as Phoebe was just blogging about, and this handy tip was just posted over on the Bibliophile list. As many of us sit at desks all day, and are past an age where physical fitness is an easy attainment, I thought I would pass the routine along.

My friend suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks. Then 15-lb. potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 25-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

Living Dangerously

Taiwan is getting uppity. The Financial Times reports that "Taiwan's President Chen Shui-bian will this week scrap token commitments to future unification with China, ignoring US pressure to avoid angering Beijing by taking steps that could move the island towards formal independence." This is the sentence in the story that really stood out to me- "His open defiance of the US indicates that Washington will find it increasingly difficult to keep Mr Chen in check during his last two years in power."

See what creating a smoking shithole of US foreign policy for six years leads to, George? Nobody listens to us anymore. Not even fucking Taiwan. And the last thing we need right now is a blow-up (of the metaphorical or literal sort) between Taiwan and China. Can you say "Massive Global Crisis"? Can you say "$100 a barrel oil"? Can you say "Catastrophic Meltdown of the US monetary system" if China gets really pissed with us and pulls the plug on the triple-mortgages we've taken out with them using our National economy as collateral?

And speaking of that-

Earth to Taiwan: you and I both know that you are, and of right ought to be, a sovereign country. However, there are, shall we say, certain realities we all live with, and there are good times and bad times to pull down your pants and waggle your balls at them. If the shit really comes down now, just who the fuck do you think is going to defend you? Do you really think that the country that has pledged to defend you against China, but whose economy is now owned by China, will do more than raise a shrill, meaningless voice in protest? Anyone who actually believes that George Bush, given the current state of the US military and our economic reliance on China's goodwill, would do anything other than whine to stop China from conquering Taiwan is living in a dangerous dream world.

Ready, Aim... BOOM!

What's more fun than taking out the trusty .44 and shooting the crap out of something (or someone, if you're the American Vice President)? Shooting the crap out of something that goes KABOOOM!!

The Lewiston Pistol Club of Idaho, has put a whole new twist on target shooting- what would happen if your target was packed with high explosives? Well, this-

It's called "Boomershoot", and it looks like a blast (you knew I was gonna say that eventually). Thanks to JD Rhoades for first spotting this one.

Monday, February 27, 2006

It's the Little Things


The Beloved Leader is visiting India and is not going to visit the nation's greatest artistic treasure, and one of the greatest pieces of architecture ever made by Man, the Taj Mahal.

He is going to go to a cricket match instead.

Bush, predictably, refused to even be man enough to say he's not particuarly interested in artistic and architectural treasures, and instead blamed his scheduler, who is apparently the one running the country.

"Look," the Texas Man of Steel whined, "if I were the scheduler, perhaps I'd be doing things differently."

Now I may be being picky, but I'd prefer a President who has the balls to tell his scheduler that he wants to see the Taj Mahal, dammit.

Not that I blame him, I guess. Last time he stood up to her, Laura apparently bitch-slapped him but good, and he ended up with that black eye they blamed on the pretzel...

Monday, Monday...

So... you think your job sucks?"

The second in our continuing series of Monday-morning pick-me-ups for our office-bound compatriots.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Giants Passing...


RIP: Don Knotts and Darren McGavin.

Don Knotts' Barney Fife remains one of the great comedic creations of television history. Darren McGavin's Karl Kolchak, Night Stalker is a cult favorite today, but a series I remember vividly from 8th grade. My friends and I watched avidly for the short time it was on. It was camp, but it was really, really great camp. McGavin is also widely-known for his "grumpy dad" role in the movie A Christmas Story.

I gotta go lamp shopping now...

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Bond? James Bond?

Yes, that's Ursula Andress, the original Bond Girl. No, she has nothing to do with the rest of the post... why?

Bond fans are all aflutter over the casting of a blond actor, Daniel Craig, as the new James Bond. Some have even started a website as part of a "Stop Bond" movement. C'mon, give the guy a fucking break. Who cares if he's blond? Craig might turn out to be a really good Bond, a return to the original Bond persona as exemplified by the Best Bond, Sean Connery. That's what it all boils down to, isn't it? Connery or Moore? If Roger Moore was your prototypical Bond, then you probably are up in arms about Daniel Craig. If you prefered Sean Connery you probably don't see the big deal.

Moore was urbane, handsome, elegant; but Connery, while sophisticated and handsome (so my wife tells me), exuded a wiff of danger, of the unpredictable. Sean Connery's Bond would shoot a man just to watch him die. Roger Moore's Bond needed a better reason.

Craig appears to be more in the Connery mold. He's even been described as having a "thug-like" face. Good! Some of his photos remind me a bit of Robert Shaw, and Robert Shaw would have made a great Bond. I was a little taken aback to hear that Craig cannot drive a stick. That's a situation that will have to change pretty fast. I mean, yeah, Bond is many things, but all of them can drive a stick shift.

Hey, pissed-off Bond fans- just be glad that Steve Martin decided to embarrass himself this month by impersonating Inspector Clouseau instead of James Bond... now that would have been something to yell about.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Freaky Friday

Something for Friday Night...

You say Tomato...


The answers to some questions tell you a lot about a person-

Gin or vodka?
Beatles or Stones?
(and John or Paul?)
Butter or margarine?
PC or Mac?
Beach or mountains?
Sean Connery or Roger Moore?

I was working on a post related to that last question (well, actually about the brouhaha surrounding the casting of the new Bond, Daniel Craig), but I thought it would be interesting to get some more input on Questions that divide the world in two.

There are always regional variants. Around here we have-

Red Sox or Yankees?
Cape Cod or Cape Ann?
New Hampshire or Vermont?

and so on.

Jump right in. What question tells you the most about a person?

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Port Update

This just gets better and better. JD Rhoades found this gem, from a March, 2004 story-

The Central Intelligence Agency did not target Al Qaeda chief Osama bin laden once as he had the royal family of the United Arab Emirates with him in Afghanistan, the agency's director, George Tenet, told the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks on the United States on Thursday. Had the CIA targeted bin Laden, half the royal family would have been wiped out as well, he said.

That would be the royal family we are selling the Port of New York to...

Why?

Is it possible that Our Beloved Leader is on the take?

That's the only way I can figure out GWB wanting to sell American port terminals to United Arab Emirates, a known supporter of terrorists. I know Bushy says they are a "loyal ally in the war on terror", but let's look at their track record- they allowed money that funded 9/11 to be funneled through their banks; two of their citizens were among the 9/11 attackers; the UAE government has been implicated in smuggling nuclear technoloy to Iran and North Korea; UAE was one of only a few countries to recognize the Taliban government of Afghanistan.

With "allies" like that...

So the fact is that they are not the sort of folks you want to hand your security to. But hey, why not sell them our ports? Bush assures us that he has passed this scheme through Homeland Security, the NSA, etc., etc., and they all gave it the big thumbs up.

Funny thing about that- to begin with, who the fuck even believes it? With this Administration's record of distorting data and intelligence to suit its ends, and supressing concerns from knowledgable experts in favor of assurances from the few who support their programs, it would not surprise me a bit to learn, a year from now, that analysts at the NSA and HSA are competely bullshit about this and are being muzzled and ignored, in favor of the one analyst who said "hey, no big deal".

And even if the guys and gals at the NSA and HSA do think there is no danger- are these the same guys and gals who thought there were WMDs in Iraq? Who thought that the Iraqis would welcome us by throwing flowers? Who thought Hussein had a nuclear arms program? Who thought that the insurgency was no big deal? Who told Condi Rice that Hammas had no chance to win the Palestinian elections? Even if they are really saying this sale is not a problem, with that sort of track record, I'm not sure I feel very reassured...

But port security will continue to be run by Americans, won't it? Well, that much is true. Americans do the "hands-on" running of the ports, and will continue to. But running a port is a big business. Port security is notoriously under-funded, and the situation is getting worse. I am not suggesting that Ahmed Terrorist will be checking cargo containers in... it's actually much worse-

Remember all the stories about how the Administration is classifying plans for nuclear and electrical plants, chemical plants, and all sorts of other plants and facilities as "top secret" because we don't want terrorists to be able to get hold of them to see what their weaknesses and vulnerabilities are? Remember the Entebbe raid, back in the '70s, when Israeli troops rescued hostages being held at an airport in Uganda? Know why they were able to do that so well? It was because an Israeli company had built the airport, and had the plans... for fuck's sake, if you go bird watching near an airport with a pair of binoculars these days you will be arrested!

Well then why would you hand over the plans to our ports to the terrorists? C'mon guys- if they own the ports, then their functionaries have access to the plans, security measures, and everything else you do not want terrorists or their allies to have access to. And if you can get inside, then you can figure out how to circumvent security, and there is always a way to get around security, especially security in a place as complicated and hard to secure as a busy port.

So, selling our main ports to an Arab country that supports terrorists is, well, just plain stupid. Worse than that really- it's traitorous.

And why do most folks who sell out their countries do it? MONEY. Hence my question at the start as to whether Our Beloved Leader is on the take. He must be. That's the only rational explanation I can see for his actions here.

What makes this all the more alarming is the juxtaposition of this news story with news stories about the continued violence in the Middle East being perpetrated by militant islamics. I am not one to condemn entire religions based on what a few fruit loops do, and I continue to believe that Islam is inherently no more violent than Christianity, but we really seem to be entering an era where the looney-toon fringe elemnets have taken control, and just as you can find plenty of calls to violence in the Bible if you look, so you can also find them in the Koran. And the guys who find those calls to violence in the Koran appear to be running the agenda.
Yesterday an important mosque was destroyed by a bomb in Iraq and the reaction by the competing sect was to burn a dozen other mosuqes and beat their members to death in the streets. In response to a few cartoons hundreds of thousands march in the streets demanding people's heads be cut off. In one country they actually burned people alive over this last week.

Is this really a good time to be selling these guys our ports?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Drinking & Shooting...

OK, admit it- it's something we all suspected. An experienced hunter "mistakes" a 175-lb man for a quail? Let's just say what we were all thinking- the Vice President of the United States was drunk as a skunk when he blasted his hunting companion with a shotgun.

And now we have proof. Capitol Hill Blue talked with folks who have seen the Secret Service report which describes the Vice President as "clearly inebriated", complete with "slurred speech" and "erratic behavior".

"This was a South Texas hunt," says one White House aide. "Of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."

An interesting story.

The Creepy Veepy gets tanked on weekends and shoots people at random and the President sells our ports to Arab terrorists.

God Help America.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Olympics -Those were the days...


For anyone who has missed what Google is doing with their logo during the olympics, it's worth checking out. I like this one. If you right-clik on the image and tell your browser to open it in a new window it will show you all eight of the logos.

Is it my imagination, or are the Olympics not as fun as they used to be back when the Evil Empire was still in business? I mean, sure, we still follow the medal count charts in the papers and get really upset when the Good Old US of A is not tippy-top in total medals and gold medals... but still. There's no sport in it now. Back when we were squaring off against the ol'USSR the medal counts meant something. Our guys and gals were winning medals for Freedom, Apple Pie and General Motors, and soundly trouncing Godless Communism and The Red Menace.

Now who do we beat- Latvia?

Well, actually, our hockey team tied Latvia, but never mind. The point is, who are we competeing against now? Canada? France? Oh sure, there's always China, but it's just not the same. Our real enemies, like Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates (you know them -they're the guys who financed 9/11 and help smuggle nuclear technology to North Korea, and whom our Beloved Leader is about to sell our port facilities to) and so on... they don't even do the fucking Olympics. Did you see any Saudis snowboarding the half-pipe?

sigh.

Rumors...

Monday mornings can be hard, especially when they come on Tuesday. Here's something for all our friends who have to trudge to the office this a.m. ...

Monday, February 20, 2006

RIP Curt Gowdy



Say "Hi!" to Teddy Ballgame for us.