February Icicles-

It was an odd January here at Foggygates- lots of cold, but no snow. That, however, was not going to stop the Book Elves from enjoying themselves, so after a hard day in the Cataloging Cave they planned to hit the “slopes” in the neighbor’s field, making snow with the help of two garden hoses, 300 feet of heavy duty extension cord and a dozen old industrial fans they picked up cheap at a local farm auction.

I’m not sure how the ski areas make snow... but I’m betting it’s not like that.

However, after blowing every fuse in the house out twice, the Book Elves got everything set, started the fans, turned on the hoses, and then left for Mama Maria’s bar & grill just down the street for a quick dinner and a few beers before some late-night sledding.

If only they’d remembered to anchor the bases of the fans… But before they encased the neighbor’s house in 3 inches of solid ice, the Book Elves finished our new catalog-

"RECENT ACQUISITIONS for February, 2007" is now available on our website or in printed format. It features 231 books and catalogs on furniture, silver, ceramics, glass, textiles, art, architecture and related fields, with highlights including-

-A rare 1840s Italian woodwork design book.

-A nice 1905 auction catalog of Japanese arms & armor, featuring items collected by noted dealer Bunkio Matsuki.

-An unusual 1873 book on soluble glass.

-An uncommon 1881 exhibition catalog of modern tapestries.

-The scarce original 1908 edition of Henry Mercer's guide to the tiles of the Pennsylvania state capitol.

-A rare 1824 biography of Jacques Louis David.

-A copy of Ure's important 1821 Dictionary of Chemistry with the 1850 ownership inscription of an American dyer.

and much, much more!

Our February Catalog.

Time to Sell That Starbucks Stock-

As part of our never-ending quest to bring you some of the really important news of the 21st Century that the Networks or FauxNews might have missed, here's a tidbit from the Associated Press-

Baristas show skin, stir up business
Hot competition brews in Wash.

By Gene Johnson, Associated Press | January 30, 2007

TUKWILA, Wash. -- Coffee stand owner John Cambroto could not compete against the beautiful bikini-clad women selling espresso up the road. "We had a much better atmosphere, good coffee. Unfortunately, they ran around half-naked and we didn't," said Cambroto, who finally threw in the towel last spring and sold his business to his rival, the operator of six Cowgirls Espresso stands in the Seattle suburbs.

The baristas of Cowgirls Espresso represent a new trend in and around Seattle -- perhaps the most caffeinated city in America -- and illustrate how cutthroat the competition can be in the hometown of Starbucks, which has multiple coffee shops competing on the same block.

Among the other coffee stands that are showing some skin: Moka Girls in Auburn, The Sweet Spot Cafe in Shoreline, Bikini Espresso in Renton, and Natte Latte in Port Orchard.

One recent afternoon, there was a long line of cars at the tiny, black-and-white, cow-painted Cowgirls stand in front of a Tukwila casino. Candice Law, leaning provocatively out the drive-through window in a black bra, and Toni Morgan, wearing a skimpy halter top, see-through red lace panties and chaps, seemed to know every customer.

Most of the customers declined to give their names or be interviewed -- "Nobody wants to admit to their wives that they're here," Law said. One who did, a 25-year-old diesel mechanic named Mike West, said he comes every day for the coffee. "I could care less what they wear," he said.

Lori Bowden, the owner of Cowgirls Espresso, opened her first stand, by the entrance to the Silver Dollar Casino, four years ago. Law and other employees suggested doing "Bikini Wednesdays." Bowden approved, and her stand immediately doubled the amount of money it was taking in -- from $200 to $400 -- on Wednesdays. "Fantasy Fridays," "School Girl Thursdays," "Cowgirl Tuesdays," and "Military Mondays" followed.

The stand now takes in about $800 a day, Bowden said. The baristas make minimum wage, plus $80 to $150 a day in tips. Steve McDaniel, chief operating officer at the casino, saw the line of vehicles and knew there was money to be made. He opened Moka Girls last summer. Like Cowgirls, it features theme days and racy lingerie.

"Most guys like to see pretty girls when they get their mochas," said Sarah Araujo, who opened The Sweet Spot two years ago. "We just figured we'd be honest about it."

As long as the employees' breasts and buttocks are covered, they aren't breaking the law. And the owners of the stands say they get few complaints.

http://www.cowgirlsespresso.com/

Buddy, Can You Spare a T-shirt?

Well, tonight is the SooperDooperBowl, and my one wish is that the Indianapolic Colts do unto the Chicago Bears what the Bears did to the Patriots back in 1986. That is, shred, dice, slice, humiliate and destroy them, on live national television. Not that we harbor any sore feelings about that long ago, horrific, evening...

For the rest of you who are not hobbled by such ghastly memories, here's an interesting story about tonight's game-

Far Away, Super Bowl’s Losers Will Be Champs

By LEE JENKINS
New York Times, February 4, 2007

MIAMI, Feb. 3 — In some parts of the world, the Seattle Seahawks are the reigning Super Bowl champions, the Buffalo Bills are the last great football dynasty and Tom Brady is some frustrated quarterback from New England who can never win it all.

Minutes after the end of the Super Bowl, every player on the winning team will get a cap. The loser’s logo could end up on heads in Uganda.

The Super Bowl will end about 10 p.m. Sunday, and by 10:01 every player on the winning team — along with coaches, executives, family members and ball boys — could be outfitted in colorful T-shirts and caps proclaiming them champions.

The other set of championship gear — the 288 T-shirts and caps made for the team that did not win — will be hidden behind a locked door at Dolphin Stadium. By order of the National Football League, those items are never to appear on television or on eBay. They are never even to be seen on American soil.

They will be shipped Monday morning to a warehouse in Sewickley, Pa., near Pittsburgh, where they will become property of World Vision, a relief organization that will package the clothing in wooden boxes and send it to a developing nation, usually in Africa.

This way, the N.F.L. can help one of its charities and avoid traumatizing one of its teams.

“Where these items go, the people don’t have electricity or running water,” said Jeff Fields, a corporate relations officer for World Vision. “They wouldn’t know who won the Super Bowl. They wouldn’t even know about football.”

The gear is flown, along with school and medical supplies, into a major city. It is then driven to one of the villages where World Vision staff members work. They distribute the shirts and caps at a community center, about two per family.

Beth Colleton, the N.F.L.’s director for community ventures, worked for a month at a World Vision service area in Ethiopia. One day, she saw a boy in the village wearing a Green Bay Packers 1998 Super Bowl champions T-shirt.

Ms. Colleton might have been the only person in the village to do a double take. The Denver Broncos were the 1998 Super Bowl champions.

After she returned home, she watched a documentary about Romanian orphans. One of them was wearing a Buffalo Bills Super Bowl champions T-shirt. “I almost fell out of my chair,” she said.

The Bills, losers of four consecutive Super Bowls in the 1990s, at least have a following in Romania. [more]

Counting Down...

Well, it's official- the last Harry Potter book, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows', will be available for sale at midnight, July 21st. Aside from proving that J.K. Rowling is reaching far down into the depths of the Unfathomable Title Barrel, the release of the new title raises a few questions in my mind-

-given that we're all going to buy it, is anyone planning on shutting themselves off from all media from midnight of the 21st until they finish it? Guaranteed, that by 12:01 somebody will have flipped to the last page, found out if Harry lives or dies, and it will be on the web and the news.

-are you going to flip to the last page first yourself, or will you plow through the, oh, probably 1,200 pages to find out?

-call me nasty-minded, but with all the hands the manuscript is going to go through, from editors to printers to binders to deliverymen to bookstores, can the publishers really keep this one under wraps until midnight of the 21st? I'll bet "no".

-J.K. Rowling has dropped what I think is the biggest hint already regarding Harry's longevity- she has said that this book wraps up the series, and it represents a fully-realised concept which she does not wish to see expanded upon. So I bet she kills him. Not that this will really matter- the history if literature is full of characters who rose from the dead later. Not even Sherlock Holmes stayed dead, and Harry is at least as talented as Holmes. Not to mention that he's a damned wizard. Who would be easier to ressurect than a wizard? So maybe she'll realise the futility of it all, and not kill him. She'll certainly 'kill' the 7th movie, not to mention future sales of all 7 books, if he dies.

Well, we'll see. And I'm betting we see before July 21st. If you really don't want to know, I'd say cut yourself off from all media by July 10th. And if you don't care either way -why the hell did you read this far?

Jovanovichy-

This was posted on the Biblio list a few days ago; I'd never seen it before. I don't think you have to be a bookseller to find it funny, but I've been wrong about that before...

Jovanovichy

'Twas potter, and the little brown
Did simon and schuster in the shaw;
All mosby were the ballantines,
And the womraths mcgraw.

Beware Jovanovich, my son!
The knopfs that crown, the platts that munk!
Beware the doubleday, and shun
The grolier wagnallfunk!

He took his putnam sword in hand,
Long time the harcourt brace he sought -
So rested he by the crowell tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in harper thought he stood,
Jovanovich, with eyes of flame,
Came houghton mifflin through the wood
And bowkered as it came!

Dodd mead! Dodd mead! and from his steed
His dutton sword went kennicatt!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went quadrangling back.

"And hast thou slain Jovanovich?
Come to my arms, my bantam boy!
Oh, stein and day! Giroux! McKay!"
He scribnered in his joy.

'Twas potter, and the little brown
Did simon and schuster in the shaw;
All mosby were the ballantines,
And the womraths mcgraw.

Mamas, Don't Let Your Daughters Grow Up to Be-

Professional pillow fighters.

In the Pillow Fight League.

That's "Sarah Bellum" over there...

Phoebe actually alerted me to this fast-growing new, uh, sport, the other day. All I can say is that I am constantly in awe of the new wonders the 21st century is bringing us, and I feel a warm glow at being able to share them with you all here at Mutterings, where I strive to bring cutting edge information to you on at least a semi-annual basis.

For anyone out there who is snickering right now, I can only say that there is something refreshing, in today's violent, chaotic world, about an organization whose motto is "Fight Like a Girl".

R.I.P. Robert Drinan

Father Robert Drinan, one of Massachusett's most beloved political and clerical figures, has died at the age of 86.

A Jesuit priest who served for a time as the Dean of Boston College Law School, Father Drinan was the only active priest ever to serve in Congress. He was elected in 1970 on an anti-war platform (beating John Kerry in the Democratic primary) and served for 10 years, until the Vatican told him to chose between Congress and the priesthood. During his tenure he was an active anti-war activist, was the first member of Congress to call for the impeachment of Richard Nixon (for bombing Cambodia), and voted for public funding for abortions. After leaving Congress he served for a time as president of Americans for Democratic Action, and had been teaching at Georgetown University until a few months ago.

He will be missed.

Why, what did you think it meant?

I was listening to a radio program this weekend and the word 'Bozone' came up. Apparently the place to look up such words is The Urban Dictionary, which tells us-

BOZONE- The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

This is an eye-opening site. For instance, call me completely naive, but 'Safety Dance' means a bit more than I thought it did...

Here are a few other examples-

CELEBUTARD- A famous stupid person. Typically refers to the current crop of vapid celebrities. Celebutard Paris Hilton got the name of her own videogame wrong.

MACCACACOCKY- being so full of hubris as to believe you can racially insult someone in public, at will. Man, did you hear what he said? He's a bit maccacacocky, isn't he?

URBAN AMISH- Someone who has none of the technological devices that have become a part of our daily lives, such as television, microwave, gaming platform or home computer. I'm going to Ohio for a visit with the Urban Amish relatives. Where's my Gameboy?

BLOGORRHEA- To write a blog entry just for the sake of posting an entry, not because you have done anything interesting today. I couldn't really think of anthing good to blog about, so my last post was real blogorrhea.

How NOT to start your singing career-

The subject of illegal aliens came up over on The Joey Polanski Show yesterday. Here's an unexpected take on the issue from this week's news-

UPI: A New York "American Idol" contestant who won't be moving on asked British judge Simon Cowell for his work visa after the judge called his act "rubbish." Ian Benardo was allowed to complete nearly all of Laura Brannigan's "Gloria," before the judges began insulting his act, the one-time telephone psychic told the New York Post. When Cowell told Benardo his act was "just rubbish," Benardo demanded to see a work visa for Cowell, who then called for security to escort the contestant out.

"Simon has built an empire by sitting in a chair and being bored and British, and I just wanted to know if he is legally allowed to be making millions of dollars off us," Benardo, 26, told The Post. "Since he had no answer, that makes me believe he may not be legally working here in the United States." Benardo said he doesn't shy away from anything or anyone because, "I'm from the Bronx."

Make Mine a Double-

Yesterday's post apparently left the impression that I was casting asparagus on that all-American food -the hamburger.

Nothing is further from the truth. I love hamburgers. It's McBurgerBlisters psuedo-burgers I dislike.

There's no more perfect food than a well-cooked hamburger. Lately we've been buying Buffalo burgers at Trader Joes and grilling them (outdoors in summer, indoors on the grill attachment on our stove in winter). I was introduced to buffalo burgers on a trip to Zion canyon a few years ago- just before the tunnel through the mountain to the canyon there's a buffalo burger stand. When we first stopped there, probably 2000 or 2001, it was just a shack behind a run-down barn, but man, oh man, were the burgers good, especially washed down with a draft beer or two. And the buffalo they came from were grazing a field over. As we sat there a thunderstorm went through, and afterwards we saw a triple-rainbow.

I was hooked.

When we went back last year the stand had upscaled, the burgers were not quite as good, and the National Park folks had leaned on them to stop serving beer, given the cliff-side hairpin turns with 1000-foot drops drivers were going to have to negotiate on the other side of the tunnel.

Wieners.

But buffalo burgers are still my favorite. There's a bar & grill down the street here in Hatfield called The Smithsonian where they serve the world's best fries, and a really great hamburger. All you really need are good meat, good toppings and a good bun.

But you'll find none of those at McBurgerBlitzer. Last time I ate there I almost spit it out; I'd forgotten how tasteless they really were. Damn, now I'm hungry. What time does The Smithsonian close?

Oh No, Mr. Bill!

Well, we've done it now.

According to a story on NPR this morning, after all those years of nagging at the French about smoking, and exporting McDonald's to Paris, it's finally happened: French women are getting fat.

And not only the women. The men are too. It turns out fewer French people are lighting up, leading (as it always seems to) to the munchies, and they're muching fatty foods. Result- the French are getting pudgy.

My only question is who the Hell could have persuaded the French, who are known for their advanced taste-buds, that a McBurger is fit to eat? Last time I had one it tasted like grilled cardboard, albeit grilled cardboard packing about 60 grams of saturated fat. So who's responsible? Has Bill Clinton been hanging out on the Champs-Elysees lately? Are they going to be renaming it the Chomps-Elysees?

Audrey Tautou says "Non!"

New Catalog-

There’s no snow so far at Foggygates, which you would think would put a slight crimp in plans for Winter sledding parties, but then you’d have thunk half a step behind the Book Elves. With a pair of ‘Blizzard-3000 Super Toboggans’, a keg of beer and a dozen pizzas on hand, they weren’t about to let a little thing like bare ground stop them this past Saturday night. So with a little help from a few cans of ‘Krazy Al’s XX-Xrta Slik Silicone Spray’ and a pair of Honeywell TFE73131 Turbojet engines they “borrowed” from a Learjet that just happened to be “sitting around” at the local airport, they piled on and were set to go-

-and boy did they. For the official record, they were last spotted by radar at 2,500 feet, heading northwest over Montpelier, Vermont. But before they reached warp speed at cruising altitude and scared the dickens out of those Canada geese, they finished our new printed catalog-

"BOOKS ON FURNITURE, CABINETMAKERS & RELATED SUBJECTS" is now available on our website or in printed format. It features 264 books and catalogs on furniture, cabinetmakers and, well... related subjects.

Request a printed copy, or browse the catalog on our website.

My Cats are NOT Amused...

Today's Independent reports that- "If you are looking for a healthier life, get a dog. Scientists have long believed that the companionship of a pet can be good for you, but new research suggests that dog owners are physically healthier than cat owners. According to Deborah Wells from Queen's University, Belfast, dog owners tend to have lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, possibly thanks to regular walks with their four-legged friends.

Writing in the British Journal of Health Psychology, Dr Wells said that dog owners appear to suffer from fewer minor ailments as well as fewer serious medical problems. In a review of dozens of previous studies, Dr Wells found that dogs also seem to aid recovery from serious illnesses, such as heart attacks. One study published in 1995 found that dog owners were more likely, by about 8.6 per cent, to be alive one year after a heart attack than those who do not own a dog."

Patriots Postscript

Well, let me say in my own defense that I called the Pats score exactly right- 34 points. It was those unexpected extra 15 points the Colts got that were the problem...

But it was an exciting game, wasn't it? I suppose that's what the rest of the country
is calling what Pat's fans are calling a gut-wrenching, excruciating 2nd half. Oh well, as George Bush says, if you're gonna lose, at least make it exciting.

On the other hand, if the Pats had to lose, I'm glad we lost to the Colts. It's good that Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy are headed to the SooperDooperBowl. They deserve a shot at it, and I have no doubt whatsoever that they're going to win.

Well, I guess that's it for sports for a while. Oh, wait- how many days 'till pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training?

The Ghastly Truth...

PASADENA, Calif.: Adults in America are about to find out if they're smarter than a fifth grader. Fox is launching a new game show called, "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" Grown-ups will compete in a quiz based on questions from elementary school textbooks. A Fox executive says, "While most game shows measure how smart you are, this is a show that will measure how dumb you are."

Well, at least Fox is marketing to their normal demographic...