FUCKER
FUCKHEAD
FUCKWITPLEASE DON'T CONFUSE 'EM!!
...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Please Don't Confuse Them-
Today I take the liberty of shamelessly stealing a theme from Joey Polanski, because I think the lesson may be valuable to some people in the Media-
FUCKER
FUCKHEAD
FUCKWIT
PLEASE DON'T CONFUSE 'EM!!
FUCKERFUCKHEADFUCKWITPLEASE DON'T CONFUSE 'EM!!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Random Musings...
- Fox news is treating the white, Christian anti-tax nut who dove his airplane into an IRS building as a “seriously disturbed individual who nonetheless had a legitimate grievance”. Any bets on how they’d have described it if he’d been a Middle-eastern Muslim?
- Tiger who??
- I was glad to see the Russian skaters back to ugly costumes- it makes me nostalgic for the 80s.
- I guess that the use of the word "batshit" in a book catalog entry really depends on the context, doesn't it?
- Oops. Those cheap chocolates I bought at Danny's Deep Discounts weren't "Ferrero Roche" –they were "Feral Roaches". They’re crunchy though, and if you hit them hard enough they stop scurrying around the plate.
- Sweet Jesus- between Global Warming & the radioactive tritium leaks from Vermont Yankee nuke plant just up the river, by July we'll have mosquitoes the size of raccoons. They’ll be carrying off squirrels in their claws and we’ll have to go after them with baseball bats. I can’t wait to make a bug-zapper big enough to deal with ‘em though...
*ZAP*
(all the lights in the neighborhood dim)
*ZAP*
(The smell of roasting bug drifts through the yard).
I can’t wait for Summer.
(The smell of roasting bug drifts through the yard).
I can’t wait for Summer.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Retiring, but not Shy...
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
In case you missed it-
last night's most surprising Superbowl ad-
and the story behind it-
How the Letterman-Oprah-Leno Super Bowl Ad Came Together
By BILL CARTER, NEW YORK TIMES
Jay and Dave together? Could it be true?
It is, and there they were, Jay Leno and David Letterman sitting on a couch – with Oprah Winfrey between them - upstairs at the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Mr. Letterman tapes his show.
The spot was shot last Tuesday afternoon, under the strictest of secrecy which involved both Mr. Leno and Ms. Winfrey flying in surreptitiously to New York, and arriving incognito at the theater, while Mr. Letterman was in the midst of taping his show for that night. It also involved Jay wearing a disguise: hooded sweatshirt, glasses and faux mustache. If you happened to be on Broadway between 53rd and 54th street last Tuesday about 4:15, you might have seen a man fitting that description slip into the theater by a small entrance under the marquee.
According to staff members of the “Late Show with David Letterman” who were on the scene that day - including the executive producer Rob Burnett – it all happened because Mr. Letterman had an idea he thought would be truly funny: a Super Bowl ad that featured the two longest-running adversaries in late night, sitting with Ms. Winfrey as though at a Super Bowl party.
What gave the idea extra spin, of course, was that the relationship between Mr. Letterman and Mr. Leno has been especially fractious of late in the wake of NBC’s moves that led to the departure of Conan O’Brien from the “Tonight” show and Mr. Leno’s impending return to the show, where he will once again go head to head with Mr. Letterman.
In the weeks since the decision was announced, Mr. Letterman had been notably acerbic in his on-air jokes about Mr. Leno, suggesting he was a schemer in some way in the moves that led to the changes in late night, and Mr. Leno had responded with jokes about Mr. Letterman’s well-covered romantic entanglements.
That added to the surprise viewers encountered when the ad came up and there the two comics were, flanking Ms. Winfrey, in essence for a promotion for Mr. Letterman’s show.
As Mr. Burnett described it, Mr. Letterman had the idea to invite Mr. Leno to participate, playing off a similar ad he put together with Ms. Winfrey the last time CBS had the Super Bowl in 2007. “Dave wrote the bit himself,” Mr. Burnett said. “He just thought: it’s the Super Bowl, you’re supposed to entertain people.”
Steps were taken to contact Ms. Winfrey, who agreed immediately, Mr. Burnett said, and then Mr. Leno. Mr. Burnett said he spoke with Mr. Leno’s executive producer, Debbie Vickers. “She asked if this was for real and then she laughed for about 10 minutes,” Mr. Burnett said.
Mr. Leno quickly agreed, but the idea had to be passed by the top NBC executives, including the chief executive, Jeff Zucker. Permission was granted.
Mr. Leno was able to get Tuesday free – NBC had rearranged its schedule to pre-empt his 10 p.m. show that night - and took the NBC corporate jet, Mr. Burnett said. There seemed little chance though that Mr. Leno could sneak into Mr. Letterman’s theater unseen, so the idea was hatched to try to sneak him in during a live taping - in disguise.
Both guests turned up while Mr. Letterman was on stage doing his show. They were kept in a secret green room until the show was over and the theater was cleared. Then Mr. Leno and Ms. Winfrey went up to the theater balcony where a living room set was fashioned with a faux TV and a couch.
Mr. Letterman arrived a short time later. The two late-night rivals greeted each other warmly, Mr. Burnett said. “It was very friendly, very professional, totally cordial,” he said. “You could tell these were two guys who have known each other for a long time.”
The idea Mr. Letterman came up with was for him to be first seen alone, complaining about being at the worst Super Bowl party ever - then to be seen in a two-shot with Ms. Winfrey as he had been in 2007, with her telling him to be nice. And then Mr. Leno would be revealed at the other end of the couch saying that Mr. Letterman was only complaining because he was there.
Mr. Letterman followed doing a mock-Jay voice. The entire spot was shot quickly and efficiently, Mr. Burnett said. “I’d say it took no more that 20 or 30 minutes,” he said.
“I think everybody wanted to do it just because they all knew it would get attention and they all just wanted to do something funny.”
After the taping was completed, Mr. Letterman thanked his guests and they said a cordial goodbye, Mr. Burnett said. The two stars slipped back out into the Manhattan night, Mr. Leno back in his faux mustache.
“This wasn’t done to help Dave or to help Jay,” Mr. Burnett said, “though I think it does help both of them. It was just done because Dave thought it would be funny and would entertain people. Nothing went beyond that.”
and the story behind it-
How the Letterman-Oprah-Leno Super Bowl Ad Came Together
By BILL CARTER, NEW YORK TIMES
Jay and Dave together? Could it be true?
It is, and there they were, Jay Leno and David Letterman sitting on a couch – with Oprah Winfrey between them - upstairs at the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Mr. Letterman tapes his show.
The spot was shot last Tuesday afternoon, under the strictest of secrecy which involved both Mr. Leno and Ms. Winfrey flying in surreptitiously to New York, and arriving incognito at the theater, while Mr. Letterman was in the midst of taping his show for that night. It also involved Jay wearing a disguise: hooded sweatshirt, glasses and faux mustache. If you happened to be on Broadway between 53rd and 54th street last Tuesday about 4:15, you might have seen a man fitting that description slip into the theater by a small entrance under the marquee.
According to staff members of the “Late Show with David Letterman” who were on the scene that day - including the executive producer Rob Burnett – it all happened because Mr. Letterman had an idea he thought would be truly funny: a Super Bowl ad that featured the two longest-running adversaries in late night, sitting with Ms. Winfrey as though at a Super Bowl party.
What gave the idea extra spin, of course, was that the relationship between Mr. Letterman and Mr. Leno has been especially fractious of late in the wake of NBC’s moves that led to the departure of Conan O’Brien from the “Tonight” show and Mr. Leno’s impending return to the show, where he will once again go head to head with Mr. Letterman.
In the weeks since the decision was announced, Mr. Letterman had been notably acerbic in his on-air jokes about Mr. Leno, suggesting he was a schemer in some way in the moves that led to the changes in late night, and Mr. Leno had responded with jokes about Mr. Letterman’s well-covered romantic entanglements.
That added to the surprise viewers encountered when the ad came up and there the two comics were, flanking Ms. Winfrey, in essence for a promotion for Mr. Letterman’s show.
As Mr. Burnett described it, Mr. Letterman had the idea to invite Mr. Leno to participate, playing off a similar ad he put together with Ms. Winfrey the last time CBS had the Super Bowl in 2007. “Dave wrote the bit himself,” Mr. Burnett said. “He just thought: it’s the Super Bowl, you’re supposed to entertain people.”
Steps were taken to contact Ms. Winfrey, who agreed immediately, Mr. Burnett said, and then Mr. Leno. Mr. Burnett said he spoke with Mr. Leno’s executive producer, Debbie Vickers. “She asked if this was for real and then she laughed for about 10 minutes,” Mr. Burnett said.
Mr. Leno quickly agreed, but the idea had to be passed by the top NBC executives, including the chief executive, Jeff Zucker. Permission was granted.
Mr. Leno was able to get Tuesday free – NBC had rearranged its schedule to pre-empt his 10 p.m. show that night - and took the NBC corporate jet, Mr. Burnett said. There seemed little chance though that Mr. Leno could sneak into Mr. Letterman’s theater unseen, so the idea was hatched to try to sneak him in during a live taping - in disguise.
Both guests turned up while Mr. Letterman was on stage doing his show. They were kept in a secret green room until the show was over and the theater was cleared. Then Mr. Leno and Ms. Winfrey went up to the theater balcony where a living room set was fashioned with a faux TV and a couch.
Mr. Letterman arrived a short time later. The two late-night rivals greeted each other warmly, Mr. Burnett said. “It was very friendly, very professional, totally cordial,” he said. “You could tell these were two guys who have known each other for a long time.”
The idea Mr. Letterman came up with was for him to be first seen alone, complaining about being at the worst Super Bowl party ever - then to be seen in a two-shot with Ms. Winfrey as he had been in 2007, with her telling him to be nice. And then Mr. Leno would be revealed at the other end of the couch saying that Mr. Letterman was only complaining because he was there.
Mr. Letterman followed doing a mock-Jay voice. The entire spot was shot quickly and efficiently, Mr. Burnett said. “I’d say it took no more that 20 or 30 minutes,” he said.
“I think everybody wanted to do it just because they all knew it would get attention and they all just wanted to do something funny.”
After the taping was completed, Mr. Letterman thanked his guests and they said a cordial goodbye, Mr. Burnett said. The two stars slipped back out into the Manhattan night, Mr. Leno back in his faux mustache.
“This wasn’t done to help Dave or to help Jay,” Mr. Burnett said, “though I think it does help both of them. It was just done because Dave thought it would be funny and would entertain people. Nothing went beyond that.”
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Quitters-
There are many important issues facing us today- joblessness, global warming, tea-baggers, deficits, Republican obstructionism, and Sarah Palin, but let's all step back for a moment to discuss something really important-
The Super Bowl.
By this time tomorrow I assume the Indianapolis Colts will be the new Super Bowl champions. I'll be rooting for the Saints, but even I don't actually expect them to win. The Colts seem to be the perfect package this year, an unstoppable combination of brains, determination and skill.
And that's why I hope those wimpy, whiny quitters lose.
That's right, I'll say it- the Colts are quitters.
Stop and think about it- this year they had a chance few pro football teams ever get, the same chance the Patriots had a few years ago: the chance to run the table, to go undefeated from first game thru the Superbowl. But the Colts decided to rest their starters in Game 16 and intentionally bagged the game, in order to have a better chance to go all the way.
Quitters.
When you have a chance like that, you have to go for it. Sure, the Patriots tried it and lost at the very end, but they came soooooo close. And the simple fact that their arch-rivals, the Pats, tried it and failed two years ago should have made it all the more essential for the Colts to do it this year. But instead they bagged Game 16.
Quitters.
Sure, they'll be Super bowl champions tomorrow, but they won't be Real Champions. To be a true champion you at least have to try, and the Colts didn't.
Quitters.
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