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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Timely Thoughts-

It's the first Tuesday in November, so of course you know what I am going to blog about today. It's a topic that is foremost in all our minds...


"Where," you are asking yourself, "can I find a really good SPAM recipe for my Election Night Party?"

Well, go no further. Now you can find tons of Spam recipies all over the web, but they all take a long time to make. Today is a busy day, so I am sharing, as a public service, my own Special QwickySpam recipes-

SPAM SURPRISE
Take an unopened can of SPAM; throw it at someone's head and yell SURPRISE!!


SPAM UPSIDE DOWN CAKE
Take a cake. Turn it upside down. Open a can of SPAM and put the SPAM on top.


SPAM 'N SCRAMBLED EGGS
Take a can of SPAM. Use it to smash 4 eggs. Open the can and put the SPAM on the eggs.


SPAM 'N CHEESE
Take an unopened can of SPAM and a box of Velveeta Processed Cheese Food. Put the can of SPAM on a plate, put the box of Velveeta on top of the can of SPAM, and put both in your neighbor's new microwave. Cook on HIGH for ten minutes.


VICHYSPAM
Eat an entire can of SPAM while watching a Francois Truffaut film and singing "Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber Alles"


SPAM HASH
Open a can of SPAM. Turn on an electric fan with metal blades to HIGH; throw chunks of SPAM through the blades. Collect and serve.


SPAMAKOPITA
Open a can of SPAM. Drop a cinderblock on it. Scrape off and put in pan, cover with bread crumbs. Put on a layer of canned spinach. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Bake at 450 for 1 hour. Serve with 1 bottle of Ouzo. If serving two, serve with 2 bottles of Ouzo.


SPAM SPLAT!
Open a can of SPAM and throw the SPAM as hard as you can against the wall. Scrape off the wall and serve.


SPAMONELLA
Open a can of SPAM. Let it sit for 1 week on the counter. Serve.


HAVE FUN!!

4 comments:

catalyst said...

Gee, I just finished a can the other day and I didn't think of any of those recipes.

Anonymous said...

Many years ago I was working for a company that forced me to spend countless weeks and months in COMMUNIST China. All I can say is that the Chinese food we eat in America is NOTHING like the Chinese food you can get in China. May I just say that there is not enough dirt and fly parts in America to make authentic Chinese food.

While there, I discovered that the Chinese have an affinity for Spam, which I had eaten as a kid, but for some reason unknown to me, had moved away from. While there, I discovered all the ways that one can eat and enjoy Spam. Since those days, I will every now and then purchase a can of spam and eat it for all it is worth.

My friend Jack buys me a can every year for Christmas (he is such a generous soul). The best way to eat it is to slice it up and fry it in real butter. Then put those crispy slices of Spam between 2 slices of toasted bread and squirt on some mustard. Honestly, it can't be beat.

If I wasn't half in the bag in Utah right now, I would go to the store and by some.Damnit, I am hungry.

Colonel Colonel said...

I can't wait until they make them work with Spam on Top Chef...

Anonymous said...

Man, if they do, I am there. In China they served us "butterfly Spam" one night. No, it was not carefully sliced down the center and stuffed with some delicious stuffing.

It was simply cut into the shape of a butterfly.

For the record, this is the hardest word verification I have ever encountered. higtpfqh. WTF???

And naturally, I got it freaking wrong.